Hi there, I see myself in your post. I also have a 6th grader with severe ADHD and we are struggling, especially with the school. Does your son have an IEP, with a behavioral plan? I really had to push to get the behavior plan added, but they finally did it after I found one online and told them what I wanted. Expulsion is not the answer, your son needs understanding. A behavior plan at least puts the behavior on the radar for the school, and the IEP should protect him because his behavior is part of his disability; so they have to work with him rather than punish him. If your son is keeping up on grade level then you can use a 504 plan, meaning they cannot modify the cirriculum but he still needs extra attention. Mine is behind in all areas, especially writing. I found a couple of programs that I hope to work with him on this summer to help catch up (or at least not forget anything), they are JUMP Math and retrainthebrain.com. It is going to be a challenge because homework has been a battle for years.

We recently found some real help, please look into Beyond Consequences. (just google it) It changed my life, my perception of my child, and gave me tools to help him...and me. We have also been on the medication roller coaster, and Beyond Consequences is helping way more than the meds. After all the therapy, the meds, the rejection from family and friends, I finally found understanding and real help. I wish I had found this sooner, it has helped more than anything. Best wishes to you!

Hi!

As with many others, my son has also struggled in school. Although he's only in the 1st grade, I have already seen how schools are more inclined to negatively examine and/or focus on a child's behavior, rather than acknowledging the complications that ADHD children are faced with. As we see it here, expulsion of a child does not solve anything! Schools are quick at eliminating negative behaviors that affect their school settings and disregard the fact(s) that a child suffers with ADHD. As with me, it took me a very long time to get my son's school to start an IEP; as I found out, they try to avoid doing so due to the paperwork required to enforce it. It is truly sad that children with ADHD are looked upon as more of an annoyance and problem, than as a normal child wanting to do well. It angers me that schools do not take into consideration their unique way(s) of learning, incomparable to others. It truly takes persistence, don't ever give up. Every child has the right to learn and academically achieve and succeed. It is not the schools right to expel a child without taking into consideration the criteria they uphold based upon the generalization of their students; every child is not the same, thus learns the same as well!


God bless,


Rhonda W.

I am a parent of a 28 yr-old son who is back living at home again. He's lived here this stint for over 1 year (over 4+ ys. prior). Our wonderful son was diagnosed with ADD (he's the opposite of hyperactive component though) when he was about 7 ys old. Back then, the diagnosis was pretty unprofessional, even with the psychologist and counsellors we paid a lot for to get a real, professional evaluation (one psychologist discounting another psychiatrist's ADHD testing, etc.) . My main reason to finally reach a blog spot where I can actually blog about my ADD son is the I WISH/IF ONLY thoughts that I have now at 61 ys. old. I was so nonconfrontational through the years when my son would not "do the obvious", meaning developing his own thought process/note taking method/whatever the heck it would take method, to just get through life in a "thinking responsively" way. It now is so important to me because it is so late in my son's life now and he doesn't have the where-withal to stand on his own two feet. I feel most of it is my husband and my fault because it was so confusing about "holding him responsible" for his inaction in school (oh yeah, he was on a learning disability curriculum), we did so much to help him, to the point that his teachers asked why I was putting in the majority of the effort regarding son's school performance than my son actually was. I never wanted our son to feel our frustration over his seeming to not even try to remember something, not wanting to write a note for himself as he got older to help him remember. Do you understand where I'm coming from? He gives the least amount of effort on being responsible/wanting to get ahead. It was so confusing on bring up a responsible child that can make it as an adult out in the world when they are diagnosed with ADD. How do you hold them accountable, where is the line re accountability when they have ADD? Now look where my husband, myself and my son are 28 ys. later. Professionals really need to help parents understand how much should my ADHD child be accountable for? How do I instill responsibility in my child so they can make it in this world on their own? We've seen our son do amazing things -- graduate Basic Training in the Army (though he got a general discharge because of pot smoking), living completely on his own in an unfamiliar state for one year, getting a lot of good reviews regarding his work/jobs he has had (he has been fired from a few jobs though). He gives very little effort towards making it on his own. He is now with a really good counsellor who specializes with ADHD clients, but again he is still at home, hanging out mostly with us his parents instead of his own age group, putting out minimal effort towards moving out. I want to give him a move-out deadline, but my husband doesn't because he fears it will push our son over the edge. Oh, why weren't we able to teach our son about responsibility as he was growing up? We were so confused about that blurred ADD line of when is he to be responsible, or when is he not able to follow through on homework, a chore, etc. due to the ADD, and yet how can he still learn the skills necessary to become a responsible adult, etc. Because of all the confusion during my son's learning years, it wreaked havoc in my husband and my marriage. And at 61 and 63 ys. old, my husband and I still have arguments over how and when to hold our son accountable. Parents: Get your professionals to help you with this issue so your situation doesn't turn out like our situation has in what should be our retirement years.