ADHD / ADD Support Group
Attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and attention deficit disorder (ADD) are more common than you might think. It is a syndrome that exhibits symptoms such as hyperactivity, forgetfulness, mood shifts, poor impulse control, and distractibility. Join others who suffer from these conditions and share your experiences.
Here are my suggestions.
1. The Job is Teaching Skills
The question is not just whether Jimmy hands in his history report on time, but whether he developed the life tools to maintain deadlines.
Mom can't do it all. Likewise, telling the teacher to change a grade or relax deadlines may not help either. Your child may have to take some hard knocks in the learning process.
2. Deadline and dates. Memory is faulty, things come up. Teach your child to write down dates and deadlines. Let him choose the tool that works for him Data can be collected in Outlook, on a cellphone, or in a notebook or daytimer.
3. Discuss the benefits of good organization. Why do I need to learn math or science children sometimes ask. Explain the importance of good organization. You will be spending about 10 hours on the social studies project. You can do it on time and get an A or B, or hand it in 2 days late, have the teacher mad at you and get a C or D for the same work. It will reduce stress.
4. Compliment Sandwich Imagine commenting about a womans weight and then expecting a favorable response to what follows. Criticism will reduce the effectiveness of your message. Instead, begin and end your message with a compliment, and try to reduce its negative impact. Not insincere comments.
5. Emotional and school problems Problems with popularity and bullying may mask themselves as organizational or learning problems. In a delicate fashion, try to understand if something is bothering your child. ADD children may have social issues as they may not listen to other children or want to play the games others like. Work on developing good social skills, such as listening, cooperation and empathy. Sadly, boys do need to learn how to fight and ignoring problems simply makes them worse.
6. Limit Stress Stress will aggravate organizational problems and problems like ADD. Try to avoid marital or post-divorce stress in front of your child.
7. Gently Monitor Your childs success and motivation are his own. You want to periodically child work, but do it in a pleasant and positive way. A group of kindergarteners were left some markers in a test. One group was given rewards for best project and work done, and the other nothing. Guess which group did more artwork- the group which received nothing. The nothing group did the artwork because it was fun, while the other group did less because it was perceived as work.
8. Accurately Estimate or Overestimate Potential Problems
Its 9:00 the day before your project is due and the convenience store does not have the colored markers or construction paper you need. Teach your child to expect problems and delays, and leave added time to anticipate them. Asking people for help and advising them of problems before a deadline is always better than after.
9. Material can be Learned in Different Ways. In algebra, the material can be learned from the book or lectures. Some like me are less auditory and learn more from books. Teach your child different ways to learn material, but note that he will spend more time on schoolwork if he uses his time at home to do things that were taught in class.
10. Keep Material in the Same Place and Develop Procedures. Losing papers is a serious problem for those with ADD. Developing routines and keeping books and papers in the same place can reduce that.
11. Look to change, not criticize. Your child will make mistakes, and need to develop better procedures. Nagging and complaining about what was done make lead him to turn you out, and simply lead him to turn out your message. See 5
12. Recognize each child is unique While you want your child to be successful, recognize there are different skills and people; Michael Phelps became a champion swimmer with ADD. Let your child use his skills to make his mark. Tell your child you love him and dont let failures in one course make your entire relationship unpleasant. Be careful of hurtful comparisons to other children.
13. Have parents be a non-stressful resource and source of support Your child will make mistakes and get bad grades. Ideally you want to use that incident as a way of changing patterns.
14. Let your child do ADD type things in your spare-time Outside of work, I enjoy doing multiple things and in leisure doing what it feels right. I take 4 books to a beach, and may see 4 movies at a time. (maybe its not ADD movies are just lousy). Organizational skills are required in a particular endeavor.
1. The Job is Teaching Skills
The question is not just whether Jimmy hands in his history report on time, but whether he developed the life tools to maintain deadlines.
Mom can't do it all. Likewise, telling the teacher to change a grade or relax deadlines may not help either. Your child may have to take some hard knocks in the learning process.
2. Deadline and dates. Memory is faulty, things come up. Teach your child to write down dates and deadlines. Let him choose the tool that works for him Data can be collected in Outlook, on a cellphone, or in a notebook or daytimer.
3. Discuss the benefits of good organization. Why do I need to learn math or science children sometimes ask. Explain the importance of good organization. You will be spending about 10 hours on the social studies project. You can do it on time and get an A or B, or hand it in 2 days late, have the teacher mad at you and get a C or D for the same work. It will reduce stress.
4. Compliment Sandwich Imagine commenting about a womans weight and then expecting a favorable response to what follows. Criticism will reduce the effectiveness of your message. Instead, begin and end your message with a compliment, and try to reduce its negative impact. Not insincere comments.
5. Emotional and school problems Problems with popularity and bullying may mask themselves as organizational or learning problems. In a delicate fashion, try to understand if something is bothering your child. ADD children may have social issues as they may not listen to other children or want to play the games others like. Work on developing good social skills, such as listening, cooperation and empathy. Sadly, boys do need to learn how to fight and ignoring problems simply makes them worse.
6. Limit Stress Stress will aggravate organizational problems and problems like ADD. Try to avoid marital or post-divorce stress in front of your child.
7. Gently Monitor Your childs success and motivation are his own. You want to periodically child work, but do it in a pleasant and positive way. A group of kindergarteners were left some markers in a test. One group was given rewards for best project and work done, and the other nothing. Guess which group did more artwork- the group which received nothing. The nothing group did the artwork because it was fun, while the other group did less because it was perceived as work.
8. Accurately Estimate or Overestimate Potential Problems
Its 9:00 the day before your project is due and the convenience store does not have the colored markers or construction paper you need. Teach your child to expect problems and delays, and leave added time to anticipate them. Asking people for help and advising them of problems before a deadline is always better than after.
9. Material can be Learned in Different Ways. In algebra, the material can be learned from the book or lectures. Some like me are less auditory and learn more from books. Teach your child different ways to learn material, but note that he will spend more time on schoolwork if he uses his time at home to do things that were taught in class.
10. Keep Material in the Same Place and Develop Procedures. Losing papers is a serious problem for those with ADD. Developing routines and keeping books and papers in the same place can reduce that.
11. Look to change, not criticize. Your child will make mistakes, and need to develop better procedures. Nagging and complaining about what was done make lead him to turn you out, and simply lead him to turn out your message. See 5
12. Recognize each child is unique While you want your child to be successful, recognize there are different skills and people; Michael Phelps became a champion swimmer with ADD. Let your child use his skills to make his mark. Tell your child you love him and dont let failures in one course make your entire relationship unpleasant. Be careful of hurtful comparisons to other children.
13. Have parents be a non-stressful resource and source of support Your child will make mistakes and get bad grades. Ideally you want to use that incident as a way of changing patterns.
14. Let your child do ADD type things in your spare-time Outside of work, I enjoy doing multiple things and in leisure doing what it feels right. I take 4 books to a beach, and may see 4 movies at a time. (maybe its not ADD movies are just lousy). Organizational skills are required in a particular endeavor.
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