ADHD / ADD Support Group
Attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and attention deficit disorder (ADD) are more common than you might think. It is a syndrome that exhibits symptoms such as hyperactivity, forgetfulness, mood shifts, poor impulse control, and distractibility. Join others who suffer from these conditions and share your experiences.
Hello! I'm brand new here and looking for any input that any of you might have. We are a family of four (me, husband, 15 yo son, 13 yo daughter).
My 15 yo son has adhd and odd. When he is with our family he is completely miserable and makes sure that we are all miserable with him. He has always been this way. However, when he turned 15 it intensified greatly. For all intents and purposes he quit school in 4th grade. I have been homeschooling him since then. It's been extremely stressful to say the least.
My daughter and I both have very quiet and sensitive personalities. We hate conflict and love routine. So, for us, living with my son is kind of like living in a war zone. I developed anxiety and depression several years ago from the stress. My daughter recently told me that she no longer has any desire to be around people. She only wants to be alone.
It is obvious to me that everyone in our family is suffering. I suggested that we send our son to a boarding school specifically for ADHD kids. I know this sounds selfish. But it is actually an attempt to give my son peace as much as it is to give the rest of us peace, as well. He is much happier when he is away from home and not with the rest of the family. My husband shot that idea down immediately.
The strange thing is, he is calm and content if he is with only one parent. But, if you throw a third or fourth member of the family into the mix, he is miserable and so are we.
So my next option is for me and my daughter to leave our home and live somewhere else. My son and husband will stay in our home. This will create a more calm environment for everyone. Once again, this is in an effort to give my son peace, as well as the rest of the family.
I realize that these ideas probably sound like I am a horrible person. Believe me, I wouldn't even consider such an idea if our whole family weren't suffering.
If any of you have any knowledge or experience or ideas, I would greatly appreciate your input.
My 15 yo son has adhd and odd. When he is with our family he is completely miserable and makes sure that we are all miserable with him. He has always been this way. However, when he turned 15 it intensified greatly. For all intents and purposes he quit school in 4th grade. I have been homeschooling him since then. It's been extremely stressful to say the least.
My daughter and I both have very quiet and sensitive personalities. We hate conflict and love routine. So, for us, living with my son is kind of like living in a war zone. I developed anxiety and depression several years ago from the stress. My daughter recently told me that she no longer has any desire to be around people. She only wants to be alone.
It is obvious to me that everyone in our family is suffering. I suggested that we send our son to a boarding school specifically for ADHD kids. I know this sounds selfish. But it is actually an attempt to give my son peace as much as it is to give the rest of us peace, as well. He is much happier when he is away from home and not with the rest of the family. My husband shot that idea down immediately.
The strange thing is, he is calm and content if he is with only one parent. But, if you throw a third or fourth member of the family into the mix, he is miserable and so are we.
So my next option is for me and my daughter to leave our home and live somewhere else. My son and husband will stay in our home. This will create a more calm environment for everyone. Once again, this is in an effort to give my son peace, as well as the rest of the family.
I realize that these ideas probably sound like I am a horrible person. Believe me, I wouldn't even consider such an idea if our whole family weren't suffering.
If any of you have any knowledge or experience or ideas, I would greatly appreciate your input.
It's not selfish to wish he were gone, esp. since you're considering the others in the house who are being hurt by his behavior. And, as you pointed out, he seems unhappy there as well.
It's your decisions to make but personally I will not tolerate someone mistreating me or anyone else in my house no matter what condition they have. Why did your husband shoot down the idea? Does he have to deal with your son as frequently as you do, so that he knows how nearly impossible it is?