Motivating an 18 yr Old Non ADHD Man
I have spent so much time dealing with our youngest(13) with ADHD/ODD and haven't put nearly as much time into our oldest son (18) and I am feeling bad. The thing is, he has been very responsible his whole life, until recently. He was the 'easy' one. My problem is, because he has been low maintenance, I don't bust his chops about his grades (passing, but could be better) or his messy room or his refusal to help with house work. He has worked since he was 16, bought his own car, was paying for his car insurance and cell phone bill up until this past August. He had a couple of injuries that kept him from working for about 3 months. He's okay now and is able to work but isn't getting the hours, he barely makes enough to pay for his gas. We have been helping him out the past few months but it's getting to the point where he is just not working by choice. We don't mind helping him out, but he refuses to help out around the house or help me by taking his brother to practices or picking him up from school. He graduates HS this year and starts taking a college class next month. I feel guilty that he didn't get the attention like our youngest and I feel that he became so independent at an early age to compensate us for the struggle we have to put towards our youngest, but I don't want him to lose this independence, especially at this age. He is out of school at 11:30 everyday so he has plenty of time to work, but has been hanging out with friends instead. I am pretty sure he isn't doing drugs or anything illegal. Any suggestions on how to motivate him to get working again?