ADHD / ADD Support Group
Attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and attention deficit disorder (ADD) are more common than you might think. It is a syndrome that exhibits symptoms such as hyperactivity, forgetfulness, mood shifts, poor impulse control, and distractibility. Join others who suffer from these conditions and share your experiences.
For whatever reason, lately my husbands adhd has been having a worse effect on our marriage than previously. I don't know if its just because Im less tolerant of the things that happen around here because of the adhd or if it is getting worse.
We've been fighting alot. I mean ALOT. We have 2 small children, and I often feel like Im chasing after 3. Its frustrating because I feel like Im constantly second guessing things i do, wondering if he'll mess them up or do something wrong. I know this sounds harsh, however Its almost always warranted. And, often times when Ive had the thought that something will go wrong if i dont do "xyz" to make something fool proof, it usually happens. Its mentally exhausting.
Often times its things that put our children at risk. His driving record is so bad, he only drives our family around if Im unable. After over 6 years, he's still unable to properly install a car seat. He can't even be trusted to buckle our children in correctly. I DO EVERYTHING.
I recently took his new adhd medicine bottle and hid it. Then told him i'd be giving him his medicibe daily (Bear with me).........
I did this after the third day in a row i found the bottle in our childrens bathroom with the child saftey cap on crooked. In the past Ive found his medicine bottles like this and done nothing. Ive even found pills laying on the floor on multiple occasions.
His mother, whom he promptly called, told him i was being "controlling and manipulative". He then told me he doubted if the cap was even screwed on wrong.
Yup. You caught me. Because I need one more thing to worry about remembering.
Has anyone had this type issue? He just kept saying that the kids wouldnt get into the medicine.
I know he loves our children, but on so many occasions he choses whats easiest as opposed to whats best. Is this ADHD? I feel like everything gets explained away under the adhd diagnosis. However, i refuse to jeopardize my childrens safety.
Ive read that the parent/child dynamic is common in adhd marriages. Also that the non-adhd partner usually carries the responsibility of everything. Has anyone figured out a way to make this less ....... (Hmmmmm, whats the word?)
Horribly exhausting emotionally & mentally?
Try to educate your children on safety issues so that they might in time help shape your husband's behavior in doing things because his children as for them to be done in a safe way.
Try to find time for yourself, I find praying to be a powerful tool to calm myself and deal with stress. Being the Rock of a family is a heavy burden, spiritual faith can help.
Many reported side effects they did not have previously even though the generic is supposed to be the same active ingredient composition and dose. I have been dealing with the same sleep issues for a few years now on this medication and even when I lost my insurance and had to go without medication for over a month (not pretty at all) my sleep did not improve much. I believe the side effects I experienced cost me my job of nearly 3 years because I could not go the sleep when I wanted no matter how I isolated myself from stimuli or how long I laid awake and thus I could not get up in the morning to save my life.
Now I wish I had figured this out sooner. Part of my problem was thinking I was just getting older and the side effects could be explained as just a part of life and getting older. These included being tired all the time. Foggy head even while taking the medication which used to really help me function at a high level of clarity. Aches and pains I had never had before and seemed to be becoming more consistent everyday. Numbness/coldness/tingling in extremities, like 3 fingers or one foot even when I would elevate them and attempt to increase blood through muscle activity.
While I cannot say for certain this is what your husband is experiencing or anything similar. I would definitely recommend he let his psychiatrist or provider know how he is struggling with details to see what can be adjusted in that regard. His medication while never 100%, should be helping him function at a level similar to everyone else while active, sometimes better.
Also another issue that sometimes happens with controlled substances like these, sometimes people are reluctant to be honest with their psychiatrist because they fear the psychiatrist will usurp their preferred course of treatment in favor of something they don't want to try. I might suggest shopping around for a specific generic he knows will work for him. While most of us don't like doing this because of the hassle and unwanted assumptions others make about our intentions, it has become a way of life every month for many ADHD sufferers it seems.
I would also suggest being sensitive to his sense of autonomy if/when you do talk to him about his treatment. Maybe talking about how concerned you are and how you had no idea he could be having such a hard time with something so overlooked.
Most pharmacists and doctors will tell you point blank there could not possibly be a difference in how the name brand and generic affect a given individual and will not entertain any input on the subject. Just remember these professionals often only know what they know about prescriptions from the manufacturer and insurance companies and we all know how honest and caring they can be.
I should also mention some pharmacies have preferred generics to increase their own bottom line and will fill a prescription by default sometimes even when otherwise requested. This is why I always check the pills before I leave because once you leave the counter most will not help you if you did not get what you expected from them no matter how it happened.
Hope this helps and God Bless.