For whatever reason, lately my husbands adhd has been having a worse effect on our marriage than previously. I don't know if its just because Im less tolerant of the things that happen around here because of the adhd or if it is getting worse.
We've been fighting alot. I mean ALOT. We have 2 small children, and I often feel like Im chasing after 3. Its frustrating because I feel like Im constantly second guessing things i do, wondering if he'll mess them up or do something wrong. I know this sounds harsh, however Its almost always warranted. And, often times when Ive had the thought that something will go wrong if i dont do "xyz" to make something fool proof, it usually happens. Its mentally exhausting.
Often times its things that put our children at risk. His driving record is so bad, he only drives our family around if Im unable. After over 6 years, he's still unable to properly install a car seat. He can't even be trusted to buckle our children in correctly. I DO EVERYTHING.
I recently took his new adhd medicine bottle and hid it. Then told him i'd be giving him his medicibe daily (Bear with me).........
I did this after the third day in a row i found the bottle in our childrens bathroom with the child saftey cap on crooked. In the past Ive found his medicine bottles like this and done nothing. Ive even found pills laying on the floor on multiple occasions.
His mother, whom he promptly called, told him i was being "controlling and manipulative". He then told me he doubted if the cap was even screwed on wrong.
Yup. You caught me. Because I need one more thing to worry about remembering.
Has anyone had this type issue? He just kept saying that the kids wouldnt get into the medicine.
I know he loves our children, but on so many occasions he choses whats easiest as opposed to whats best. Is this ADHD? I feel like everything gets explained away under the adhd diagnosis. However, i refuse to jeopardize my childrens safety.
Ive read that the parent/child dynamic is common in adhd marriages. Also that the non-adhd partner usually carries the responsibility of everything. Has anyone figured out a way to make this less ....... (Hmmmmm, whats the word?)
Horribly exhausting emotionally & mentally?