ADHD / ADD Support Group
Attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and attention deficit disorder (ADD) are more common than you might think. It is a syndrome that exhibits symptoms such as hyperactivity, forgetfulness, mood shifts, poor impulse control, and distractibility. Join others who suffer from these conditions and share your experiences.
Maybe it's just me but does anyone else with adult ADHD feel like everything they do is judged. I am 32 and I seriously feel like im treated like a kid. I'm married going on 12 years with 3 kids and we own our own home. I drive a 2015 Toyota sienna mini van and run my own daycare from my home and I am starting a dog breeding business. I think that's pretty good for an adult woman with ADHD... I got a tattoo on mh right foot April 5th 2014. It wasn't a random spur of the moment thing. Tattos are something I think long and hard about. It is permanent after all. I got another one on my birthday 1/29 this year and I'm already getting ripped about it by my mom and dad. My dad saw it and says what's that on your arm. I said a tattoo. He jokingly raised his fist and said girl... I said what I'm 32 its my body I can get a tattoo if I want. He said I'm gonna whoop your butt. I said yea go ahead and try. It won't matter now its permanent. Then my mom sees if today and said that's fake right. Please tell me that's not real. I said yes its real. She said if I win this publishers clearing house I'm paying for you to get that removed. Seriously I mean come on. I'm an accomplished adult. And I'm so sick of being treated like a kid. It's not like their silly tsttos either. The one on my foot says "he walks with me" and the one I just got on my right inside forearm is a really cool looking bow with 5 arrows. They both have alot of meaning to me. I am also a fast talker and have people making comments to me all the time to slow down or why do you talk so fast or take a break already. Honestly I really don't think I talk that fast. I also has social anxiety and when get around alot of people I get nervous and that makes me talk faster.
So on the topic of your post, I ABSOLUTELY am sick of being judged. I have a very successful company, and I still get judged or teased about things that I have to do at a certain time of day, or routines that I have to stick to otherwise my day is definitely less productive. What I am most sick of is that I have adult children who judge me for the person that I was prior to diagnosis. It's about a half and half mix of judging & not judging. It's like some of them just want to pigeonhole me as the person that I was pre-Rx and behavior modification therapy. Not that I was horrible, but I had far less patience, far more impulsivity, and far more forgetfulness. I know that I am a different person, even if shades of the old me surface in times of severe stress. The difference now, nearly 20 years later is that I can spot myself "not being on point" and make corrections before I have to suffer consequences of my actions. But some of them just won't let it go. Personally, I think it's because if they can point figures at me, they don't have to point it at the person in the mirror. They like having me as a scapegoat for their own actions.
Remember, it's ok for those around us that have experienced our unique view of the world sometimes, it's ok for them to be cautious (sometimes we've probably given them reason to question our choices), but it's not ok for them to continue to treat you as a child, or as the scapegoat to blame their own actions or reactions on. BTW, how do you think that they would like it if you called the ones judging out on some of their behaviors or questionable decisions. My experience is that they don't like it very much at all. I've lost a several friends and a few family members who haven't talked to me for quite a while after having the "mirror of truth" pulled out on them.
You also have to look at the good things that ADHD / ADD bring to the table. No one talks about those things much. Creativity, excellent problem solving skills (even if it's a necessity to get ourselves out of a self inflicted jam), working well under pressure, can keep tons of balls in the air at the same time, ability to hyperfocus on certain tasks, ability to tone out our surroundings completely when on task, adventurous, and the list goes on. The only reason we are labeled and judged is because we don't fit the conformist mold that society has set out for us. I say that if we are productive members of society, can support ourselves, and are happy, then what's the problem...