ADHD / ADD Support Group
Attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and attention deficit disorder (ADD) are more common than you might think. It is a syndrome that exhibits symptoms such as hyperactivity, forgetfulness, mood shifts, poor impulse control, and distractibility. Join others who suffer from these conditions and share your experiences.
I hope to earn six figures in a down economy. I also have ADD, or at least some indicia of it. While others may accomplish little while they labor through tedioius presentations at work, I have arranged to have calls rather than visits, put people on a speaker phone, and do other work while they talk. I realized that the tendency of ADD people to interrupt, dominate, switch topics, and do other things, could be disconcerting.
While I was active in school, at over 50, I am one of the few men to regularly play full court basketball and also play with teenagers.
I confess to struggling with the symmptomology of ADD, but I do not think that is fundamentally different from any of the struggles people have. I feel that part of my success is the other side of ADD, the tendency to do and try many things, not tolerate inaction, and try to accomplish a lot during the day.
I worry about the prevalence of drugs recommended on this site, and wonder whether sometimes we should leave children alone and let them find their way. No doubt I have struggled, with organization, but that struggle may have made me a better person, and in any case, isn't that part of life.
While I was active in school, at over 50, I am one of the few men to regularly play full court basketball and also play with teenagers.
I confess to struggling with the symmptomology of ADD, but I do not think that is fundamentally different from any of the struggles people have. I feel that part of my success is the other side of ADD, the tendency to do and try many things, not tolerate inaction, and try to accomplish a lot during the day.
I worry about the prevalence of drugs recommended on this site, and wonder whether sometimes we should leave children alone and let them find their way. No doubt I have struggled, with organization, but that struggle may have made me a better person, and in any case, isn't that part of life.
Do you finish tasks? are you able to concentrate in a conversation and are you able to correctly answer difficult questions? Are you able to remember past conversations or daily things like appts. and other daily tasks?
I can say that schoolteachers told me to sit on my hands, and chasticized me for not following directions. People who see me notice how active I am, and I go to see 3-4 movies at a theatre at a sitting and take 4-5 books to a beach.
You write, "Are you able to remember past conversations or daily things like appts. and other daily tasks? Organization can be difficult and it's something I constantly work on. Organization must be taken apart into separate tasks. First, there should be a daily and weekly calendar. The idea of trying to remember dates or appointments is misplaced. Then make the commitment to check the calendar. Read books on organization. Remember it is a demanding task, that does not come naturally. In that regard, I am not sure why a drug is better than working on developing good skills.
Concentrating on conversations can be difficult. One way I dealt with it was to decrease personal interaction. By having many interactions by cellphone, I allowed myself the luxury of briefly doing something else while the conversation became tedious.
Sometimes though you just have to work hard, and my father-in-law (rest in peace) was a slow talker, and I worked hard to do things at his pace.
Notice too, that many more boys and even men suggested to be ADD and one wonders if people are trying to remake us. A 9 year old is probably more likely to finish a task and sit quietly than a 9 year old boy.
As to other people's perceptions, people joke about it, and when a problem arose, my older son quipped, another victim of ADD. Another family member marvels at how I go from room to room in a given day- he's here, he's there, moving, jumping, sometimes without finishing tasks, and compared my level of activity to his 4 year old grandchild.
The point is to recognize who you are, work on getting better though sometimes it's hard. For you, it's nice that you're supportive of your husband. Try to work on scheduling at one time, and have him work with computers.
I am toward the severe end of the ADHD scale, although I know a few who are way beyond my level, and also some whose symptoms are very mild. Then there are the many combinations of inattentive / hyperactive etc.
After decades of ADHD I still don't take medication because of side effects. I work constantly at organization with little results. One plan had 11 steps to effectively use a day planner. I never got past the first step of learning to always have it with me. Still I am now self employed with a flexible schedule and can afford most necessities. With medication I am sure I would have accomplished much more.
In school I would become an annoyance to those I got to know. Being shy I would quietly withdraw from the rest and daydream, exerting only enough effort to get C's in all subjects except science which interested me. But I read about children who are terrors and are kicked out of one school after another. We never medicated my ADHD son, but if he was like the extreme cases I read about, he would have been on meds.
So I feel that just because I got by without medication does not mean that others can do the same.
By the way. The cereal box I was looking for yesterday was invisible for a few minutes even though it was right on the table, then suddenly I could see it again. How does this happen? :^)
As for meds, for or against... it is a personal decision. Only you or a parent know what is best. Many have gotten by in life, learning to cope (struggling no doubt). I know many myself and as I learn about my sons add I learn about myself and realize why I am and why I do what I do... I have never been diagnosed... I have just compensated, learned to manage, excused myself when I did silly things, etc. etc...
I have a son who is 7 and needs to be educated... his main problem is the ODD... but after many tears and months of coming to an understanding I and my husband reluctantly decided that we needed to medicate. My son could not struggle daily, he wasn't old enough to understand and learn to cope... he also would not be educated by anyone other than myself (becuase teachers won't put up with him)if he was not better controlled. I hope and pray that one day he will not have to be medicated... and that his uniqueness will be glorified as I glorify mine. I tell people you either like me or you don't... I am who I am.... I'm not always normal but I'm lovable.... Deal!!! and I get by.......
I HAVE ADD and ADHD. My husband has ADD (never been medicated, and guess what he is a doctor)...I just started medication for the 1st time a month ago (oh, and yeah, I graduated from law school a few years back). OK, so what, that means we were successful! There is someone else who has our success stories and they DID have medication. My point?
EVERYONE has their own story and everyone relates to things differently.
MY HUBBY makes the 6 figures you HOPE to get on this economy but his story is not the same as yours. I will probably be making my 6 figures within a year or 2 myself and I am younger than you and my struggles WERE and ARE DEEP in regards to my life, my diagnoses, and just plain an simply being me. Does that make me better than you? NO!
What works for one does NOT work for all and it is ok. But please understand that it is not that everyone is over medicating their kids or not thinking of ways to be successful. No 2 people are the same. You may NOT think that ADHD symptoms are fundamentally different then problems people have in their day to day lives UNTIL YOU MEET PEOPLE WHO HAVE AND DON'T HAVE IT and REALIZE THE STRUGGLES ARE DEEPER FOR THOSE WHO DO HAVE IT.
I have been exposed to many cultures of people and i have lived in different places due to my educational success and just my own personal interest. In doing so, I have had the blessing to come across many people of various ages that have or don't have ADHD and although LIFE ITSELF OFFERS PROBLEMS (which allow the similarities you seem to have experience) no 2 problems were the same AND there is a HUGE difference between problems you are born with (autism, down syndrome, dyslexia, ADHD) versus problems life has dealt your way and how you handle it control the outcome.
CONSIDER IT A BLESSING that your life has not been more difficult or challenging because of your ADHD or ADHD like symptoms. BUT THAT IS YOUR LIFE and no 2 people are the same. Don't you think people would prefer to not have the issues versus having them?
Being a mother (and my youngest son just had a surgery Monday by the way, no one knew that but yeah, so it has been a couple days since I thought about jumping on this site) I KNOW that no one WANTS to medicate their children just because. NO ONE, who is a good and decent parent that loves their kids, just wants to put a lable, i.e., ADHD, on their child--especially the way society views it.
So, in saying that, understand that your opinion is shared amongst many, but until they or you experience what some of these people have through their children or themselves, it may be taken as just an ignorant opinion because you just don't know the issues these people deal with on a day to day basis.
A few years back, 2000 to be exact, we lost a lot of people in our family due to a car accident. Long story short, until we (meaning some of my family members) experienced the lost of a loved one so close to you--and the youngest that past was my 16 yr old sister and my at the time 15 yr old sister and 4 yr old little cousin had and still deal with serious injuries from that accident--one is even paraplegic--we could not relate to how some people dealt with death and why it affected them the way it did.
I AM GLAD in your defense to ADD you did not experience the things many in this post are going through or have been through. Understand, as a successful woman who married a successful man and have a successful life, I don't appreciate the somewhat ignorant things that are associated w/us with ADD/ADHD. I also feel like people assume we are not great because of it.
HOWEVER, it is a real issue for many people and regardless of how we deal with it.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
~KK