Now, I have gone my whole life at a private school and I'm only 15, but my younger brother has ADHD and is mildly autistic and I myself have ADD.

My school is one that is very understanding towards children with learning disabilities. I remember back to the time, however, when Ian (my brother) had to repeat K4 for not being able to keep up. He would get distracted by small things, like pencils rolling on the desk and such. We didn't know how to help him.

Now, however, my brother is in the 2nd grade. He was diagnosed last year, in second grade. Now, it could be that your son isn't just not willing to comply. I'm an firm believer in that every child is brilliant, they just need the right teacher/ setting for them to learn in. Think on this: Is this school the right environment for your son? Are there any changes you can make to make it easier on him?

Feel free to contact me if you want to talk, I'd be happy to help in any way I can.

I am in the Uk so our education systems are different, but I experienced the same issues with the local school. When my son was 5 (he is now 7), I was being called in every day off the play yard infront of other parents to be told about my sons behaviour issues affecting the day, some of them minor (like not lining up for lunch)... He was threatned with exclusion and we were given no choice but to send him to a Pupil referral unit (a behavioural unit) - he was 5 - they said the same things almost exactly as your principal. The PRU said he shouldn't be at their unot, he just needed extra space to discourage him from touching people, that he should be allowed to move around the class, but the school didn't want to take him back full time. they said they didn't have the extra 'elbow' room he required, and if they lethim sit on the carpert, the other kids would want to do (ie they couldn't manage the situation or didn;t want to!) In the end we chose to change schools. We reached the conclusion that the schools values/ethos in relation to children didn't match ours. They wanted model pupils to conform, to reach the grades, and really didn't care much about the individual needs of the child. They were too focused on the need to attain certain academic standards as a school. They were inflexible in their approach and they were unable to think outside of the box. My son moved schools, he still has the problems but the school tries to meet his needs and draws boundaries wherever they can, but they don't judge us as bad parents or put the shoulder of responsibility for 'disciplining' our son on our heads at the end of the day, because they have a better understanding of the condition and of his needs. That said having tries behavioural therapy and social skills lessons, which haven't helped greatly,we now have to consider medication.... anybody with any advice / experience on this topic greatly received - we are torn...

Yes, your son can be suspended! My son was in kindergarden....he is now starting second grade in the fall. Is your son ADD or ADHD? Is he on meds?

Silenttears,
It seems shocking to me that they can suspend him for the things they listed, as all these items are listed on his IEP. Its is like suspending a blind child for bumping into a wall.... He has been diagnosed with sensory integration and ADHD, he does take medicine (which I strain over). There are not any special schools within a 45 minute radius and I am not sure where to turn. If I don't do something he will not get the Free Appropriate Public Education that he deserves. He was a lovely child prior to school (of course home is set up in a more condicive enviornment to his needs)but since school has started he is MUCH more angry and on a daily basis. My feeling is that this is due to the negative feedback he is CONSTANTLY getting from the teachers/staff and the medicine I believe is also setting him off. Any ideas?

As a parent of an ADHD child myself. (My son is also repeating kindergarten next year.) I know exactly what you mean. My son was coming home from day care 2 years ago in tears everyday. No matter what he did it was wrong. They are actually the people who suggested I have him tested for ADHD. At home, he seemed to be fine. According to them, however, he was constantly up out of his seat, touching others, and refusing to follow directions. We had him tested at this point and the doctor said she was one of the worst cases of ADHD that she had ever seen in a 4 year old. We started him on Focalin XR 10mg. The next week the teachers wanted to know whtat we did with him.
Now from a teacher's stand point....(I am a 6th grade teacher in Illinois.) I have seen Kindergarten students suspended for different actions and behaviors. What concerns me is the statement about touching others. (Keep in mind, my son was also "touching others". I understand that it does not always mean they are touching inappropriately.) However, in my experience that is where most of the students in my district get themseves into trouble. Here in Illinois before a student can be suspended a meeting must be held to determine wheter or not the actions taken by the student are part of the disability. As far as the summer school teahcer not reading the IEP, I am pretty sure that is illegal. She/He should at least read it. She may not have the same resources at a regurlar school teacher may have. But, then she would at least have the "whole picture."

Depends on your son's school. My son at that age was just like your's he got ISS alot in kindergarten and 1st grade. His IEP plan is only for his reg.school.My son when he was 5 hit a teacher in the stomach.
Your son should be Special ED. These teacher's understand this kids. Mine is in it and he was on B HONOR roll all last year in 5th grade. My son is also in Special Olympics.

Hi again. When touching others I mean for example, when he is seated next to someone at the table he is touching their arm or their hand or the pencil when they are writing. I know it is very distracting. It distracts me when I am working at home he does it to me as well. Where he is touching them is not inapprop but on the other hand it is inapprop because these other children are being disrupted. So I can see the schools point. I ended up removing him from summer school. The teacher was crystal clear with me that she was not interested in even reading his iep (even after the summer school principal hand delivered it to her)and that she expected the same behavior from that she got from other students. I guess Ryan is out of luck. My next step is to try asnd talk him into going to kinder this fall as he has adopted the new philosphy that he hates school. It is so frsutrating because while at home he knows there are certain things i expect from him and if he does not comply he will loose a priveledge. The difference is at home I can stop what I am doing and address it. Where as at school all the different teachers keep repeating to me, he can't be in this class. Last year the solution they came up with was to put him at a back table sorting colored papers while the rest of the class moved on with alphabets, etc. I did not even know this until the IEP came up. I thought they were supposed to communicate with me when they change something that was agreed to? I would really like to connect with other parents of children with similar issues. Is there anyone in the East Bay, CA area?

yes the iep should include summer program does it?all the reasons are adhd,should have a program to fit his needs,i've been through this with my son

In term sof our children having anger problems, I heard of a book called 'volcano in my tummy'. It was recommended on another forum. It is a work book and I got it from amazon, and it really helped us discuss his feelings at home (in a safe environment). He still gets frustrated but it did help in terms of how he shows his anger, he is much more able to tell people he's angry instead of reacting with physical retaliation.

my som is now six and a half and doing well since he is on meds. but when he was in pre-school and kinder. I got calls everyday the threaten to kick him out for a few days.I live in n.y. and they will suspend your 5yr.old here. is your son on meds? you have the right to refuse him on meds, but it worked out for my son. he is doing so much better.

Hi I'm a special education teacher and yes his IEP is in effect for the summer. You need to ask the school to develop a behavior plan for your son. It is their responsibility to help him. Ask them to do a functional analysis of his behavior and come up with a behavior modification plan. Do they have an early childhood special education class? That teacher could consult with the Kindergarten teacher or maybe he could spend some time in the special education room. If he is failing then he needs more support and they should have a pull out special education program that could help him with core subjects like reading and math. Blaming him or you does not help solve the problem and they cannot kick him out of school, he has a right to a public education. Do not let them take away your rights. IF you search the web, you will find many websites on parents rights.

maybe u should homeschool him

I have had the same problem with Jacob. He is 7 now. He hasn't had to stay back a grade yet, but he is very behind in reading and writing. This summer I put together my own lesson plan. Unfortunately we haven't done it as much as I would have liked because of summer things going on, but it has helped. He is starting to sound out more stuff and has been able to point out more words. It is getting math a little better now too. We weren't able to get him and IEP until the end of last year so I don't know how that will work. He is on medication, but he may need a higher dose, but I am hessitant to put him on a higher dose. I am thinking about trying Stratera. Anyway he will be in the special ed class for reading writing and math. I'm not too happy with the principal at my sons school because she suspended him on the day of the 1st grade program not knowing the whole story of a particular situation. I am deffinately going to be more vocal next year in making sure we aren't being walked all over by her. I thought about homeschooling but he needs to learn how to interact with people and how to accept change and other peoples oppinions. One thing I have learned is that I pay taxes for the schools and laws have been passed to protect these childrens' right to an education. They have the resources they need to use them.

I lost my whole post for you. I am starting over. dang. anyways, you have more power than you think. the school has to follow the iep. you can file a complaint against the school with the state dept of education. the school will jump to do what the iep says. you need a good iep, though. This is the most important bit of advice I have for you, you need to locate a legal advocate that works with parents on school issues. here in minnesota, the office is called Legal Advocacy of Minnesota...look for something like that online. they have various offices all over our state. we live in a small town and there is a woman that works by herself here. She went to all our meetings with the school and helped us plan all our daughter's ieps from kindergarten to high school graduation. it was free at that time. our daughter is 20, now. if you locate an advocate, you can ask him/her all your questions. This woman was a genius! You have more rights than you think, as a parent! i hope this helps you. sorry it isn't specific since i don't know where you are at.

I too went through the same thing. If your son is very restless maybe you could take him to the doctors to get a referral to be assessed to see if he has ADHD. That is how I found out that my son had ADHD in Sr.Kindergarden. Bu I do agree that if he is given the proper class to be in along with proper help it will make a difference. My 10 year old son is on med. and is in a behavior/special ed.class which has greatly improved from when he was much younger since the class is smaller too. I am here for any advice that you may need. Things will work out for your son don't give up.