ADHD / ADD Support Group
Attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and attention deficit disorder (ADD) are more common than you might think. It is a syndrome that exhibits symptoms such as hyperactivity, forgetfulness, mood shifts, poor impulse control, and distractibility. Join others who suffer from these conditions and share your experiences.
My husband is ADHD and has been since childhood. He often has issues with boredom but doesnt fill his time with constructive activities and if he does he eventually gets bored of that as well. He has impulsivity issues that are beginning to affect our marriage. I asked him to seek a therapist for help because he is refusing to be on medication. He also says he doesn't believe in therapy. How can I get him to understand that this is having a negative impact on the marriage? How can I lead him gently to the help he needs?
Obviously what he considers constructive and you do are different things; women spend plenty of time on conversations with their friends men would consider time-wasting. Note too the world is coming around to our (the ADHD) group way of doing things, and now seeing people do two things at once is standard.
I find the following helpful,
1. Use compliments to start and end discussions. Emphasize positive qualities with any discussions of change.
2. Make sure you have a good lovelife around when you are providing suggestions, so he does not see this as a personal attack.
3. If organization is needed, try to work together. The secret of good organization and avoiding tardiness is a good system. I have a problem with forgetting and losing things. On vacation, I have a system of waiting before we leave, and checking the number of bags to make sure I have not forgotten anything.
4. Make clear and short suggestions, rather than long and repetitive ones (i.e. nagging).
5. Be proactive, what should be done in the future, and not complaints about what has been done.