ADHD / ADD Support Group
Attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and attention deficit disorder (ADD) are more common than you might think. It is a syndrome that exhibits symptoms such as hyperactivity, forgetfulness, mood shifts, poor impulse control, and distractibility. Join others who suffer from these conditions and share your experiences.
I've been fairly reluctant to post this here. It sounds so crazy in my head....let alone to say it aloud. But, if I cannot vent here, in a place of support....then where? Right?! (I hope!)
I've made a few posts, or journal entries about my frustrations with certain medications over the last 8 months or so since I was first Diagnosed with ADHD. My main issue, I cannot focus on much of anything, long enough to complete it/finish something. I can't sit still to do my 6 year old homework with him (for longer than 5 or 6 mins max). I can't sit to ready these books people say will help. I keep re-reading the same darn lines. I just cannot focus. And I feel like I will eventually drive my husband away with all of this. And be an awful mom :(.
I tried, in the very beginning, Concerta, XR(?) with great results. It was as if somebody wiped the fog from the mirror in my brain! It was as if I were on a rapidly spinning carousel my whole life and had no idea, until Concerta reached out and stopped the spinning. But, over time, (short time) it became less and less effective, until it felt no different than nothing anything at all. (I'm talking over a 10 week span, not long term, which might be more understandable).
My Doctor tried me on Adderall XR. I felt nothing until 30mg a day. Then suddenly, things were slightly clearer. Not life changing like the concerta, but I could sit for twenty mins and build a lego castle with my son
I've made a few posts, or journal entries about my frustrations with certain medications over the last 8 months or so since I was first Diagnosed with ADHD. My main issue, I cannot focus on much of anything, long enough to complete it/finish something. I can't sit still to do my 6 year old homework with him (for longer than 5 or 6 mins max). I can't sit to ready these books people say will help. I keep re-reading the same darn lines. I just cannot focus. And I feel like I will eventually drive my husband away with all of this. And be an awful mom :(.
I tried, in the very beginning, Concerta, XR(?) with great results. It was as if somebody wiped the fog from the mirror in my brain! It was as if I were on a rapidly spinning carousel my whole life and had no idea, until Concerta reached out and stopped the spinning. But, over time, (short time) it became less and less effective, until it felt no different than nothing anything at all. (I'm talking over a 10 week span, not long term, which might be more understandable).
My Doctor tried me on Adderall XR. I felt nothing until 30mg a day. Then suddenly, things were slightly clearer. Not life changing like the concerta, but I could sit for twenty mins and build a lego castle with my son
I don't FEEL incredibly different, except that I am calmer, less frustrated, able to remember things better, care about whether I spend appropriately, etc. Basically, it's a pill that makes me give a crap about what I am doing and how it affects me & those around me long term, not just what I want in the moment. It also makes it somewhat easier for me to deal with people in general.
But there are some trade offs. You may lose some energy, develop some OCD things. I personally think this comes from some of the behavior modifications that help ADHD, like having routines, schedules, to follow, etc. These can become compulsions because they work & it can be distracting when you become aware that you didn't do things in the same order. But I guess, I will take the trade off because life is so much better & productive now.
What you may be experiencing is "normalization". You don't feel the same clarity after a few weeks of being on the medication because your life has become more normal, so you don't see the huge differences that you saw in the beginning. You've wiped away the fog, so the skies are clear & you can only get so much clearer through medication. Now come management.
Medication is not a miracle. Conscious behavior modification goes a long way. You can sit with your child & do homework. It may be uncomfortable, it may need to be on a schedule, for example, you feel like you need to be doing this or that instead. So make sure that dinner is done, put away, or whatever else you feel like is grabbing at your attention. Or even if you don't have it done, put it on the schedule for after homework time. Sometimes just having those other things on the schedule can be comforting enough to allow you to focus on homework. You can also do some self talk that can help. I'm sure that you want the time with your child to be the most important thing, so tell yourself that "Nothing is as important as spending the homework time with Him right now." Don't give into feeling guilty that you have to tell yourself that sometimes. Part of ADHD is that EVERYTHING seems like it has equal importance, so we have trouble setting priorities in the same way that other people might. So sometimes we can be helped by stating the obvious to ourselves. Reminding ourselves of those priorities.
Write things down, make lists, schedules, or whatever works to free your mind of the millions of things that it is trying to keep track of. That way you will be more relaxed hopefully able to focus on what is most important to you.
You may also at some point struggle with certain things. Why? Because they are freaking boring as watching paint dry to you. That's not ADHD, that's normal. Of course each person is different and when you get rid of the "should've, would've, could've" and embrace the " I enjoy......" you will find that you are able to focus on lots of things. They might just be different things than someone else. They might even be things that are just different from the things that you've surrounded yourself with up until this point.
BTW, your child's homework could be one of these things. Trying to get a kid to engage in homework is an energy sucker, and boring as can be. It's ok to not want to sit there and do that, but since it has to be done, we just have to tell ourselves it's for the greater good and suck it up sometimes. Medication or not you will feel more anxious, antsy, restless, etc while doing something that you don't particularly enjoy or find interesting. What you can try is a something subtle while you are helping your child. Lots of ADHD people do better with tasks that aren't engaging to them, if they have something else going on at the same time. Music, pen clicking, doodling, even a string to mess with while you are helping can help you. Basically, you are providing your brain with the extra stimulation that it desires, so the other parts of your brain can focus on the task at hand.
You can read the books that are suppose to help, but read 1 paragraph a day, or 1 in the morning, one in the evening. The progress will be slow but you are 1-2 paragraphs closer each day. It will also give you time to actually think about what is being said in those paragraphs instead of feeling like you have to get as far as you can, and end up glazing over absent mindedly reading just to finish.
I look at ADHD as a blessing in many ways. You just have to find what captures your attention. My guess is that you will then find that you can focus on that thing indefinitely - "Get in the zone". You also had to have developed several coping skills along the way. The problem is that some of the coping skills that work as kids for ADHD don't always translate well into adulthood. Also we have to police our own actions instead of having parents, teachers & others do that for us, the way that we once did as children. So it's tougher in many ways.
Personally, I think that learning to manage ADHD, is learning to live life in small doses at first. Not as far as medication, but doing things for a short time, on a schedule, instead of trying to force yourself to stick it out for unmeasured amounts of time. Give yourself time goals. For example, if you have a hard time sitting still to help with homework for more than 5 minutes, set the goal for 6 minutes, and gradually build up to 30 minutes. I imagine your son will want a break after 15-30 minutes also, so you guys can agree to take a break & go back to it in a few minutes if needed.
You don't have to do things just like everyone else. You just have to do what works for you and your family.
Hang in there and you'll find the right medication & dose. It doesn't have to always be an "ah ha" moment every time.
Wish you the best in your journey & feel free to message me anytime if you have questions about whatever part of the journey you are on since I'm a lifer to ADHD, but don't always get to this forum as often as I'd like.