ADHD / ADD Support Group
Attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and attention deficit disorder (ADD) are more common than you might think. It is a syndrome that exhibits symptoms such as hyperactivity, forgetfulness, mood shifts, poor impulse control, and distractibility. Join others who suffer from these conditions and share your experiences.
My son is now 12 and was diagnosed years ago with ADHD, ODD and PDD NOS. I got full custody of him when his mother's parental rights were terminated when he was about 7. He has 2 other younger siblings that his mother had her rights terminated on also. It has been a very long road and just when we thought we were out of the woods puberty hit. He has picked up some of his old habits when he was younger. He refuses to get ready on time, take showers, brush his teeth, he argues about every little thing he can. When we do give him a punishment like writing out math flash cards he will just sit around for weeks and get hardly any done. We have to constantly threaten him with worse punishments for him to even get the flash cards done. When he gets privileges taken away like reading a book at night he will sneak down during the night and grab one. There is so much more but, if anyone has read this far I thank you for it. I just would like people to share with me any advice they have with correcting the bad behavior and share success stories. We are very discouraged that his behavior has come back because we can enjoy the wonderful boy that he is.
In addition to parenting a child with ADHD, I work in children's mental health and can tell you from personal and professional experience, that rewards and incentives tend to work better for kids with ADHD than consequences. I realize that the ODD and PDD throw a whole bunch of other issues into this mix, in regards to those diagnoses, (as I'm sure you know), routine, schedules and consistency can be very helpful.
If you want to try a rewards or incentive program, think of something that will buy him in, (I'm guessing video games is a big one), create house rules as a family and post them in a visible spot, review them often. Let him know what the expectations are beforehand and always, always talk about behaviour expectations and consequences for not meeting them before going into a situation. Reminding him of what he is working towards is important and helpful as well.
It's also instrumental to get him involved in something that he's good at, (sports, art, music), to boost his self confidence and to help him develop appropriate coping skills - this could be done through individual counselling or groups. Depending on where you're located, many communities offer free programs such as social skills groups or cognitive behaviourial therapy which is designed to change negative behaviours.
Please feel free to message me for more information with resources, I am very happy to help any way I can.
Wishing you the best of luck.
I have 2 kids with ADHD symptoms . They are young adults now. I also worked in special ed. I had lots of experience with ADHD kids.
My younger son had more symptoms and was gifted at the same time. he actually struggled more in the later years of high school. His giftedness compensated a lot until the curriculum got tougher but he had more challenges. he had timeouts when he was little but very few negative consequences. All positive stuff really. We didnt have too many defiance issues at all. He is now in college and still has the issues but we taught him how to cope with them and how to use lots of strategies to help set him up for success. he is doing very well at 18.Maturity makes this all better. We used behavioural star charts etc. It works really well when they are young. Setting your kids up for success is really the way to go.
My older one had to work very hard at school. He was more the ADD type and had great work habits with much determination. he got a lot of support at the school and we taught him the same coping strategies. He is now at University and close to graduating. Excellent work habits from years of having to work so hard to focus on school got him here. His behaviour was easier to manage. My younger one had more of the impulsivity and hyperness. We tended to ignore the little stuff and positively reinforced all the good stuff and talked to him about the negatives and used cognitive behavioural changing approaches with him. it took many years but now he is doing very well. None of my boys took meds but they can be life saving for many kids with ADHD.
Hang in there. get some help for him and ideas from a professional on how to manage his behaviour..