This is what I have, though I haven't heard of it as a total mental disorder (before). I am addicted to various things, and I know if I had been around more things (I grew up quite religious, though not anymore), I would be addicted to a lot more, harder-core things. Because my addictions aren't the normal stuff, I didn't recognize them as addictions until very recently. Now I am trying to learn everything I can about addiction. I use my addictions to shut out the reality of danger and trauma I am living in, have lived through--and the possibility that it could recur again. Even though the solution to trying to prevent it from recurring is to problem-solve, work, etc. Instead, I indulge in my addictions. I get suicidal once it dawns on me in the midst of my addictive stupor (which it does dawn without fail, on a regular basis), how unsafe I am. I tuck the thought away and keep on with the comfort of the moment, living a world that's simply in denial of reality...as if I can't face reality, as if I will break if I do. My addictions assuage my panic, PTSD, anger, etc. They bring me comfort and joy, even though I know there are other things that could do so more effectively. I don't know what it will take, honestly, for me to break out of this. This is how I respond to emergency situations. I've almost died 3 times in the past couple years, with the way I respond only drastically increasing my chances of recurrence.