Hi. I'm a 34 year old female who was diagnosed with CML about a month and a half ago. Ive been trying to put on a brave face and get through the days as they come, but in reality my life has been turned upside down. I went from being very very active, to being too tired and weak to do very much at all. So many things in my life have changed in this short period of time, and I am left feeling a little bit shell shocked to say the least. I think the biggest thing that  I am struggling with is the guilt that I am feeling for having a hard and very emotional time adjusting to this news and the changes it as brought. I feel guilty because I feel that of all the possible things that could have been wrong with me, I lucked out with the CML diagnosis. It could have been much MUCH worse....so who am I to feel sad, and scared, and confused, and struggling with the changes I am experiencing (in my body, my lifestyle etc.)? I'm not sure I even fully comprehend all the changes as it has all happened so fast. I do know that I really try to put on a brave face and not let on how I'm really feeling. I try to stay as positive and grateful as I can be, but I am finding that although I do have good days, and I do feel positive at times and grateful that in fact it was this diagnosis over others, I also feel quite scared, and sad, and confused a lot of the time. I'm afraid to tell anyone becasue I dont want to burden them, or I dont feel I have the right to feel these things. Its all very confusing at this point :'(