Acute Myelogenous Leukemia (AML) Support Group
Acute myelogenous leukemia (AML), also known as acute myeloid leukemia, is a cancer of the myeloid line of blood cells. Patients with AML usually present with symptoms such as fatigue, bleeding, infection, prompting medical attention. An abnormal blood test reading will then result in further testing in a hospital with a hematologist to determine AML.
I have written on here before, but to refresh-- I am a 24 year old female with AML, that has been determined as "high risk." In my heart I believe that it will not return. I feel that my AML was some sort of fluke with my body and it has been knocked out for good.
However, the doctors seem to think otherwise. Therefore I am having a BMT, with my brother as the donor. He is currently receiving his shots to prepare for his apheresis on Monday. I will be admitted to the hospital on the 13th for a week of chemo, and will receive my transplant on the 20th.
The closer I get to the process, the more uneasy I am. The more I can't believe that it's going to happen, that I have to go back into the hospital and have my body go through so much distress. I feel so healthy right now, but I am starting to lose it emotionally, just thinking about what I will be going through. I'm quite scared really. I feel that I am not preparing enough, in terms of emotions and in terms of what I need to bring to the hospital for all of this.
I am sure that I will be fine when this is all over. Everyone (family, friends, and doctors, and BMT staff) seems very confident that it will go successfully and that I will have a healthy life when it's done. I am trying to stay positive, and everyone is telling me to think about life after the transplant. But right now all I can see is the transplant, and everything else right now just seems blank. This whole situation has thrown my life off course so much that it seems so hard to get it back.
I am grateful for the opportunity to post my feelings and details about my cancer journey with all of you. Whether, it gets read or not, it is so helpful to share with others who have been where I am.
However, the doctors seem to think otherwise. Therefore I am having a BMT, with my brother as the donor. He is currently receiving his shots to prepare for his apheresis on Monday. I will be admitted to the hospital on the 13th for a week of chemo, and will receive my transplant on the 20th.
The closer I get to the process, the more uneasy I am. The more I can't believe that it's going to happen, that I have to go back into the hospital and have my body go through so much distress. I feel so healthy right now, but I am starting to lose it emotionally, just thinking about what I will be going through. I'm quite scared really. I feel that I am not preparing enough, in terms of emotions and in terms of what I need to bring to the hospital for all of this.
I am sure that I will be fine when this is all over. Everyone (family, friends, and doctors, and BMT staff) seems very confident that it will go successfully and that I will have a healthy life when it's done. I am trying to stay positive, and everyone is telling me to think about life after the transplant. But right now all I can see is the transplant, and everything else right now just seems blank. This whole situation has thrown my life off course so much that it seems so hard to get it back.
I am grateful for the opportunity to post my feelings and details about my cancer journey with all of you. Whether, it gets read or not, it is so helpful to share with others who have been where I am.
So happy to see your post as I was just wondering about you yesterday. I am glad you feel free to share your fear, concerns, question here. That is the whole point of this site, IMHO, a supportive place with real people at different phases of the AML battle-that's why I love your name Warrior and your picture with your "fight like a girl" logo. As a fellow women, I absolutely love your fighting spirit.
I have not had a BMT, as I was treated with chemo only for ten months, I can completely understand your trepidation. I will steal a concept/advise from our amazing resident Dr. Cliff that I have tried to apply to my journey. Try to put blinders on, focus on the next step in front of you not looking back. Think about how amazing life will be when this is behind you and picture yourself in one of your favorite situations. For me that's riding ATVs with my family in the beautiful mountains of Utah.
I know you are going to do amazing! You are young, otherwise healthy, have a 10/10 matched sibling, the support of family and friends and outstanding medical care. All of this coupled with great contemporaries like Keir, Sal, Tas, Harry and Gallings04's wife who joined today in BMT team 2014!!!!!!
I know it is so hard to think of beating your body with chemo when you feel so well. I have felt well throughout even at diagnosis but I put my complete trust in my med team to do the very best for me.
I will continue to pray for you as I do all in this amazing support group. Please keep us posted on your journey to cure.
Blessings,
Julie
Robin
I think that Julie and Robin really summarized the roller-coaster of emotions relating to this horrid illness, and so I will try not to be redundant.
It is normal, natural, expected, and understandable to be nervous before transplant. I was, for sure, but let me tell you what I think you should keep in the back of your mind as you proceed:
1. Although we are all different, I was twice your age when I was diagnosed, and yet I got through this.
2. Even though I got radiation (which you very well may not) and has throat sores, the conditioning for the transplant was no worse overall than any of the other treatments that I received.
3. You will be getting a new PRISTINE bone marrow that will make you very healthy.
4. You will get back to normal within 6 months (maybe faster since a geezer like me probably takes longer to bounce back)
Just keep focusing on good things. As Julie said, put yourself in a place that you like, because one day in the very near future, you will be able to go there again. Keep you mind off of things by doing as much exercise as you can tolerate. Don't read too much about the process and distract yourself with TV, puzzles, or whatever you enjoy.
I am glad that your brother matches you. My siblings did not, but I was saved by a young German man who did match me.
I will be thinking about you next week when you are admitted to start the process. Trust me. It is bad, but not as bad as you are imagining. Call upon your toughness (and you do seem tough) and use it to your advantage. You will do well.
Cliff
My mum is the same but 3 times your age.... she had AML last April but since the first lot of chemo she has not had any other signs....
She will be your BMT sister as she is on Day -9 (started yesterday on the countdown) which makes her day as the 20th as well :)
Mum is also having the BMT as the doctors have recommended it as well. In our Heart we also believe that it will not return and she just has to get through this last lot of BMT treatment.
Good luck and will keep following see what is happening your end and let you know how we are going :)
xxx
I am thinking of you today as you are admitted to the hospital. I know you are scared, but you are stronger than you know. And you will feel crappy for a bit, but you will recover. You'll get stronger and stronger, and this will all be a distant memory. To borrow from some favorite friends here, "Keep your eye on the prize" and YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS.
xo
Monique
No need to apologize. The nasty roller coaster of aml ids fraught with panic, at least for me. Counts are crazy things. I am so glad you had abmb so you know definitively. So glad your med team is pressing forward with bmt. Full steam ahead
Praying for you
Julie