Hi A-
First let me say how truly sorry I am that your father, and your family, are going through this. My father suffered with AML and it is truly heartbreaking to watch someone you love decline. As to your question... Each patient is different and it is true that someone can seem fine one minute and not the next. As an example, we saw the patient in the room next to my father in the hospital walking his laps one afternoon. About an hour later, nurses were called to his room and he had passed away. AML is such a fast-moving disease that it can quickly overcome the patient. When my father was toward the end, his doctor explained to us that he could last an hour, a day, or weeks. Try not to focus on the time left (I know, easier said than done) and just hug and love your dad every minute that you can. If this truly is your dad's time, I wish a very peaceful transition for all of you. I'm sending you lots of love and an extra hug for dad :) You are in my thoughts and prayers. Take good care. xo

Dear A --- I do not have answers to your questions but I am very very sorry for your dad and you... AML is cruel, very personal and unpredictable disease... it takes too many too early... Please love your dad, take care of yourself and be thankful for everything... this life is just a small blink of eternity we have with our Creator... XOXO

Thanks Ira and Twoboyz. It's weird, I know there is no answer and it will happen when it happens, but it's almost as though I need every possible scrap of information I can glean to determine it's likelihood, how and when. I'm an information gatherer. The whole way through I've kept my dads blood results, I researched what they mean, I've been aware of his temp every day, I've paid attention to little bumps and bruises that no one thought any thing of. I actually was the one that initially said 'something doesn't seem right with dad'. I think for me, knowledge feels like power :-/ He woke up this morning with a big red blotch/blemish on his face and swollen lips. I don't know what this is, but there seems to be no real reason for it. I can only presume he might have a slight bleed under the skin? I don't know. Its hard to work when you are thinking about it all 24/7. Every time my phone vibrates, I think, is this it?! I feel like it's near, but I also don't know if that's me projecting or if I just 'know' something no one else knows. Dad and I are like the same person. I'm just the female, and obviously much younger, version. Apart from watching him suffer (which he's been pretty good at dealing with), I think the one thing that upsets me the most... is that one day soon, all I'll have left of him is text messages, voice recordings, photo's and 'tangible' things. I lost my sister and my brother years ago, and although I remember 'storíes', memories do fade unfortunately. I used to be able to see my sisters face when I closed my eyes. Now, I 'know' what she looks like, but I don't 'see' her anymore. And I know, especially as I age, my memory of my dad will fade too. How can I cope once he is gone???

Hi A,

The relationship you have with your dad sounds just like the one I had with my dad. How lucky we are to have such wonderful fathers! I sent you a private message - let me know how i can help. Also, would you mind sharing where your dad is being treated?

Hi, I just wanted to reach out and say that I'm in the same boat with my mom. I have no idea whether she is in the end stage and the doctors are just humoring us or what. She seems so weak and frail to me, but she's so not ready to die. I'll post an intro and some background on the main page also. I wish the best for your dad. This disease is horrible and heartbreaking and such a rollercoaster.

I'm so sorry to read these posts, my father is 76 and has progressed to AML. I'm also trying to find information regarding the progression because like everyone else we've been told days, weeks, or months. My father is no longer taking treatment for the disease since it seemed to stop working and is just taking transfusions every two weeks. My father is declining rapidly and like everyone else, it is so hard to watch. My dad currently suffers from night sweats, weakness, bone pain, headaches, confusion, and lack of appetite. He does not leave the house only for doctor appointments. One day he seems fine for a few hours aside from tiring quickly to the next day feeling as though this is his last day. It's very hard to watch. I wish you and your family the best in these trying times. Prayers to everyone who has had to fight and the ones currently fighting this disease.

Hey guys, sorry. I have MIA for the last little bit. So much happening.

I’m sorry to hear about your situation too LindasDaughter and rlsmith8o8
I can share with you the little information I have been given if you like?
I personally feel that I would rather ‘know’ than guess.
My imagination is far worse than reality it seems!

My understanding is that once you start having transfusions every week, then you have week’s left.
Having said that, I also believe the human spirit is another factor to consider.

The doctors told my dad they didn’t believe he would make it to the 19th (today) and he’s still here.
He, like your dad rlsmith8o8, has days where we think ‘this is it’, then the next day, he’s totally fine (well, as fine as you can be with AML)
He now struggles to make it 4m to the toilet unfortunately. And the exertion causes him to get so bone cold that my mum has to lie on him to get him to warm up.
On these days I wait for the call. Literally. Sit and wait for that phone to ring.

Then other days, he goes to lawn bowls! And plays!!!!
And I think, he’s got a few months left.

Sadly, doctors disagree. According to them, he has a very aggressive form of AML.
We will see hey.

As LindasDaughter says ‘she’s so not ready to die’ and I think that is key. I think it’s that fight that keeps you alive.
My dad had that.
Then about a month ago he suddenly came to accept that his life was going to end. He even told my mum that she will find someone else and that’s ok.
Heartbreaking stuff.

Rlsmith8o8 my dad also has weakness, bone pain, dizziness, he cant seem to remember everything I say until I remind him that I said it. And eating? Ha! He had a small 30g pack of chips yesterday. That’s it.

As much as this is a very trying time – and given it’s Christmas – it makes it even more so.
I do take comfort in the fact that if my dad does go soon, Christmas will always be his. We will never forget him at such a fun time.

I keep telling my kids that Pa is going to heaven and it’s going to be great. He wont be in pain and you can do anything you want in heaven. He’ll be with all the other people he loved and lost and even though we are sad, we will be ok, everything will turn out alright. It always does.
Now it’s just time for us to believe what we say to them.