Hi Trojan....Can this work?

I'm trying the same thing....it does work...but it is so painful for me the next day...that is the only problem.

But, I am just telling myself....if I'm gonna drink....I must enjoy the time I'm drinking, try with all my might not to turn it into a binge.....

That is the hard part for me...I dunno if it is my health issues, age..or what...but after a night of drinking....I feel horrible the next day...which leads me to wanting to drink again...and for the past year....my binges have been 2-4 weeks at a time..each time ending in hospital, needing IVs for fluids and nutrition.

So....I have drank 4 times in the last (almost month now) and I FORCE myself...only to drink for 2 days...the first day is heavy.....the 2nd is spread out throughout the whole day....then the 3rd day...I'm kinda OK....sluggish...but get thru with out a beer...I have done that 2x this month.

What maintenance it is.....pain in the ass...but I am still needing that escape....so this is what I do.

So is your hubby trying to cut down as well?
I know when we get a health scare...it makes it like OMG....I have to stop and that can make it worse.

Or some people get scared straight for a while...sounds like your hubby....and then the FEAR wears off.

Especially when the Dr. says we can have a few...the liver rejunivates.....and us alcoholics love to hear that!

Yes. We are doing this together.

Hubs goes to the doctor faithfully every three months for his blood work which has come back normal every time after his three months of abstinence.

I agree with you. He was scared straight and the fear went away.

Neither one of us has ever had to go to hospital.

When my hubs quit for those three months he had three bad days when he felt pretty lousy. Then he did fine.

It as always been much easier for him than me.

It puzzles me why a doctor would tell him it was ok to go back to moderation.

It will either happen for me or not. The jury is still out!

But I am so grateful to have you to talk to about this. Don't trust any of my IRL friends enough.

During my brief experience with AA I had a sponsor who told me ,"Once you tell someone you are an alcoholic that is all they will ever see when they look at you!"

Real helpful. Eh?

Your SO right..I made the biggest mistake in one of my sobrieties...telling co-workers and Supervisors...I was SOBER....or even had a drinking problem..Big mistake...people....don't EVER do that....

Then they are watching every day you are out...legitimately or NOT.

Yep. Might have seemed harsh to me at the time but my sponsor was dead on! NEVER tell outside a meeting or with a therapist!!!! or of course a trusted SO like my DH.

Not even with a therapist- you don't tell your therapist? I don't get this, I tell my therapist everything...if I didn't like her...I wouldn't go...I'm paying her...so she is going to know the real me and treat me or not.

One time she told me every time I came she had to open windows...because the smell of "smoke" ...I was talking about my smoking first....but then I stopped her as we continued talking and said...Wait? Are you saying my smoking offends you so much that you would rather not counsel me? Cause I am not going to let myself feel like shit when I see you cause I smell like SMOKE!. I said tell me "Rita" cause I will not change until I change...She said no she didn't want to refuse me treatment cause of that...and never mentioned it again...and I don't smoke any less.
And she still opens windows..LOL

...Hey I think this is the Missy and Trojan page....whatever...lol...it is what it is...everything for a reason...your making me laugh and I hope I am doing the same...Life can't always be SERIOUS....too short.

I said nobody outside a meeting OR a therapists. Meaning a therapist would be ok.
And yes this does seem to be our private page. Oh well. Maybe it is just too tempting for ppl on the alcohol page to talk to anyone too much who has not quit yet?

Or could it be some of them don't want to admit they have slipped from time to time?

I honestly think that the alcoholic page has been harsh to people that speak about drinking there (if they stop and then keep posting they drank again)...and that is why I started this page...but I think the regular people from that page that are struggling that I have invited to this page...are embarrassed, ashamed to post how they feel...or what they are doing because they know some from the other page are reading.

Yep! I think we have hit the nail on the head. Most PPL just don't have the guts to be completely honest about anything. This is my experience in IRL life too.

yes...and the ironic thing...is in the AA meeting...last night...the readings prior to the discussion is no one can become sober..unless they become rigorously honest...no one is more honest than me...LOL...so why am I not sober? LOL

I'm so beyond stressed right now I'm not sleeping properly and alcohol is my comfort blanket so to speak! I want it so for awhile I don't have to feel. Then the next day I feel like a failure and say to myself, what did drinking accomplish? Nothing! It burned a bigger whole in my bank account and left me feeling ashamed and bummed because I wasted yet another night or day. AND I still feel stressed. The funny thing is I'm stressed because of financial reasons and so I make it worse by spending money on beer. For those few hours I feel numb and can forget but in reality it's not solving any of my problems. I've tried to just drink in moderation, to have just a few. I can't! I have to drink until I can't or don't want anymore and for me that's usually 8-12 depending. Maybe once I've made a big change in my life and addressed the real reason I drink I will have more answers. I feel I already know what I have to do and that is leave my husband....but the thought of it sucks even though I'm not happy with him.
Ya I'm scared to post that I'm an alcoholic who is still drinking and feels like a failure. I don't want to be judged for it. I'm going to drink today even though I'm trying to talk myself out of it. After all drinking solves everything right? Nope it doesn't that's what makes me so mad at myself. I can't face today, so I will drink and worry again tomorrow....sigh

yes, it is THAT confusing....isn't it....financial...and spending anyway to numb...is exactly what I am doing too...
I lost my frigin bank card...and now it is a big issue to get money out for drugs and alcohol..but we will manage it because that is what we NEED to cope right now.

Yes, leaving your husband will suck...but you may find peace...I was sober BECAUSE I left my X of 22 years...it was the most peaceful time in my life and alcohol was not NEEDED.

We shouldn't be afraid to post here...which is why I made this page and because I made the page...I can DELETE judgmental posts...probably before anyone sees them because I spend a lot of time on line.

You can leave him...I did after 22 years...and I had 2 kids...that never really weighed in about if they wanted me to leave him or not...but I DID...and after I did...my oldest said..YOU SHOULD HAVE DONE THAT YEARS AGO.

Hmmm...I was staying FOR THEM.

Oh boy! More good questions! Did you enjoy the meeting at all or was it a total bust? How is your friend doing?

Shan thanks for coming to our group and being honest!

I'm glad to be here! I appreciate your honesty as well!
I can leave him yes.....I'm so very scared and saddened to do so. There are many things going on and frankly I feel unloved and there is very minimal affection in my marriage. We haven't had sex in 7 years and he's never home cuz he works away as a truck driver. He had a horrible childhood and I feel I need to stay to take care of him though he is also alcoholic and smokes 3 packs a day! I long for deep passion and sex and love and to feel crazy in love with someone but I'm damaged and fat and broken and depressed. Drinking as I write this and it feels damn good