acoa sanctuary Community Group
The softer side of growing up in a dysfunctional home... a sanctuary to feel home with friends and never alone.
My F2F Al-Anon group is a step study group; we use "Paths to Recovery" as the text to drive our weekly topics.
We have just begun working on Step Three. I was awed by the shares in the group, where I heard examples of people really engaged in their spiritual process. It wasn't hard to see that, for people who I believe are working a really good recovery, they all make time for spiritual practices - prayer, meditation, etc.
Everyone also agrees that it's a process, that turning our wills and our lives (and our problems, and the people we love, and especially the things we just can't seem to let go of) to the care of our HP isn't some once-and-done thing. The word that kept coming up was "practice."
It occurred to me that perhaps that's why it's in fact called a spiritual "practice" - because it's something we keep doing, and repeating, and repeating again until it becomes natural. It's enough (indeed, at times it's all that's possible) to just be able to let go of ONE thing and hand it to HP - but with "practice" I am encouraged to hear that it does become easier to let go of more and more. Even so, it's a choice we have to make every single day.
Those shares also served as a wake-up call for me. I remember how much more often I communicated with my HP when my head was on straighter. That was a major "DUH" moment when I realized that maybe, just maybe, my head was on straighter BECAUSE I was in much more regular, spontaneous and authentic communication with HP.
So this morning I took advantage of the opportunity I have every day with an hour-long commute and just talked to him. It felt great. I even managed to, just for today, turn something over to his care and let it go...just for today. After studying the first two steps in the preceding months, today I just naturally came across a new and fitting mantra: "I need you, God."
I look forward to seeing where this leads...
We have just begun working on Step Three. I was awed by the shares in the group, where I heard examples of people really engaged in their spiritual process. It wasn't hard to see that, for people who I believe are working a really good recovery, they all make time for spiritual practices - prayer, meditation, etc.
Everyone also agrees that it's a process, that turning our wills and our lives (and our problems, and the people we love, and especially the things we just can't seem to let go of) to the care of our HP isn't some once-and-done thing. The word that kept coming up was "practice."
It occurred to me that perhaps that's why it's in fact called a spiritual "practice" - because it's something we keep doing, and repeating, and repeating again until it becomes natural. It's enough (indeed, at times it's all that's possible) to just be able to let go of ONE thing and hand it to HP - but with "practice" I am encouraged to hear that it does become easier to let go of more and more. Even so, it's a choice we have to make every single day.
Those shares also served as a wake-up call for me. I remember how much more often I communicated with my HP when my head was on straighter. That was a major "DUH" moment when I realized that maybe, just maybe, my head was on straighter BECAUSE I was in much more regular, spontaneous and authentic communication with HP.
So this morning I took advantage of the opportunity I have every day with an hour-long commute and just talked to him. It felt great. I even managed to, just for today, turn something over to his care and let it go...just for today. After studying the first two steps in the preceding months, today I just naturally came across a new and fitting mantra: "I need you, God."
I look forward to seeing where this leads...
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My 6mo twin DD's are EBF and just started rice cereal on the first. Everything has been going fine except this morning one of them had a diaper rash (lots of redness around her anus). I read this as one of the signs of an allergy. BUT I did just buy a different brand diaper yesterday (which they have used randomly before w/no issues). Do you think its the cereal or the diaper? Im ready to start...
Yep... I have to DAILY Choose to Hand things over to my HP, (Which I Call God) and I Have only been here a little of 2yrs, but for me, just repeating 1 thru 3 every morning, helps me stayed lined up ... "Well" The Best I Can at that moment ;)
We only do Step meetings Once a Month, and tho I do Enjoy them Very Much, I also love Our "Open" share meetings where we choose Our Own Topic and Allow all to start were they are "Right NOW" ... :) There is So Many things you can get from Working Our Program it amazes me All the time...
When I Found Al-Anon, (Or was Dragged; Might better discibe) I was Lost, I had just lost my Afather to the Disease of Alcohol after only knowing my "Cody" Skills in Dealing with him up till that Point, and I was Angrier then I Ever remember being at someone and I'm still not sure if it was focused at my Father and his desease, or HP for Allowing me to Live that Life...
SINCE... I Now can Love, Honor, and Respect my Deceased Afather for Who He was, Not what his Desease Made of him... I Would have never been able to do that without the Walls & Family I made in the Al-Anon rooms/boards...
Thanks for Your Share... Your Doing Great & I'm Glad your Here.... N Yes... Nice Mantra for SURE :0)
Love & Prayers
1Ness....
That is a wonderful mantra and very similar to one that I say every morning and every night. I do say, "I need you God," then follow it with, "I want you God."
When I look at my recovery, I look at my time(s) in AA because that was my first program of recovery. I had five and a half years of sobriety before I had a slip... two years later I got back into the program and I realized what I lacked was a very close relationship with my HP.
During that first sobriety I knew I needed God, but looking back on it... I kind of kept Him quiet from everyone. I needed Him, but no way did I want Him.
This sobriety, I want to make my HP my best friend, I wanted to share every triumph with Him as well as every challenge. And it has been a wonderful relationship... one that continues to amaze me every day.
One of the first things I learned on this new adventure with this lifelong Friend was a very powerful prayer... a prayer I say every night. The only prayer I was ever told to memorize... The Third Step Prayer... awesome and powerful words...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=boFpC1wy2Bc
but, same bck 2 square 1 ....i CANT do this anymore...fighting..struggling....taking my problems on my own and not being able 2 trust...I just gotta trust whether I can or not....like jumping in a pool just trust that i will B able to get to the other side w/out drowing....
I do believe that I am powerless...that there IS something more poewrful than me....its step 3 that, 2 me, is the hardest thing.....trusting in anything...but i am sick of the fighting and struggling......i am back, working the first 3 steps...on and on and on, no quit till I die...7 years and i C that the old pattern some back if I don't work the steps each day
Thank you for these beautiful shares.
(((hugs)))
Karen