Reading this from Robert Burney's website.....boy, can I relate to this......so much of what he says makes sense..

"In my codependence I learned to be enmeshed with other people - to not have healthy boundaries that told me who "I" was, and that I was a separate person from them. I had to become hyper-vigilant in childhood. I learned to focus on trying to interpret what my parents and other authority figures were feeling in order to try to protect myself. As an adult, I unconsciously tried to manipulate people - by trying to be what they wanted me to be if I wanted them to like me, or trying to be either intimidating or invisible if that seemed the safest course. I had no real concept of being responsible for my own feelings because I had learned that other people were responsible for my feelings - and vice versa. I had to learn to start defining myself emotionally as separate from other people in order to start learning who I was". ROBERT BURNEY

That's where I am at right now....in the process of defining myself...learning who I am...what I like, dislike. Haven't really EVER done that....not an easy thing really...but it's time to do it. :):):)