Here are the discussion questions from last Saturday's Al-Anon meeting:

How do I take care of myself when dealing with others? Am I able to find a safe place? Am I able to remove myself from a dangerous situation? Even if it's within my own home?

It's easy to see that these questions were primarily directed to those who are living with active alcoholism. As Adult Children, we did not have the ability to go to a safe place or remove ourselves from dangerous or harmful situations, especially if it was within our own homes. Such is the paradox of our pasts.

In listening to shares going around the room, however, I developed a unique take on these questions as they apply to me today, a recovering sometimes-adult. I am learning that, for me, the places where I can feel safe or in danger often exist inside my own head. When I recognize my own powerlessness and surrender to my Higher Power, I am in a safe place. When I think everything is all about me and it's up to me to change and fix things so that people will love me, that's a dangerous place, for it leads to Crazy Town.

In a more tangible sense, the safest places for me are here in Sanctuary and in a meeting. And thanks to the tools I am picking up in program, I have become more cognizant that I always have the option of "voting with my feet" in any situation that begins to feel dangerous.

It takes time, but working a program does make a difference. I have been approached by group members after meetings who tell me that something I shared resonated with them. Last week a wise old-timer came up to me and said, "You're getting better, aren't you?" Most telling of all was last week, when my wife told me that I seem to be getting more benefit from Al-Anon than from the several years of therapy that preceded it.

It works if you work it!