acoa sanctuary Community Group
The softer side of growing up in a dysfunctional home... a sanctuary to feel home with friends and never alone.
I went out on my morning walkies with the dog today. I got up the hill across the canyon. It runs though a housing area, but at the top of the hill, it joins a road that goes through the forest and finally, out to meet thre highway.
On the weekends, when the traffic is sparce, it is so quiet along that road, you can hear the birds and the water in a small creek that runs alongside the road. A while back, before my little trip, on that walk, I was looking at an old tree, along there. The forest is Monterey Pines, 60', 70' and much more. This old thing has been dead for a long while, but it seems to be the favorite spot for birds to "hang out". Though hard to make out up there, I could see them sitting in 2 and threes. It was a brilliant day, sunny and as I walked up towrds it, the sun was behind it, peeking out around the edges. It was beautiful.
I thought to myself, I should bring my camera one day and get a shot of that old tree. Even in its present state, so beautiful and useful.
Well, today I walked in the damp, after a storm had blown through last night. When I came to that turn in road, I saw that the old tree have broken in half and was lying across the road in pieces. It sort of made me think about things I had put off lately. Which is pretty much anything and everything.
I can't see to settle on anything these days. My attention span which has always been a bit brief, has shrunk to nano-proportions. Don't get me started on the hundreds of posts I've started, only to lose interest before I managed to get them away with the "submit" button.
Anyway, food for thought, for me today. Our time isn't infinite. What things do I really want to go forward on that I have put off because I thought I had all the time in the world? Because you'll never know when the next storm will blow through and what it will take away when it goes.
Just thinking.
M
On the weekends, when the traffic is sparce, it is so quiet along that road, you can hear the birds and the water in a small creek that runs alongside the road. A while back, before my little trip, on that walk, I was looking at an old tree, along there. The forest is Monterey Pines, 60', 70' and much more. This old thing has been dead for a long while, but it seems to be the favorite spot for birds to "hang out". Though hard to make out up there, I could see them sitting in 2 and threes. It was a brilliant day, sunny and as I walked up towrds it, the sun was behind it, peeking out around the edges. It was beautiful.
I thought to myself, I should bring my camera one day and get a shot of that old tree. Even in its present state, so beautiful and useful.
Well, today I walked in the damp, after a storm had blown through last night. When I came to that turn in road, I saw that the old tree have broken in half and was lying across the road in pieces. It sort of made me think about things I had put off lately. Which is pretty much anything and everything.
I can't see to settle on anything these days. My attention span which has always been a bit brief, has shrunk to nano-proportions. Don't get me started on the hundreds of posts I've started, only to lose interest before I managed to get them away with the "submit" button.
Anyway, food for thought, for me today. Our time isn't infinite. What things do I really want to go forward on that I have put off because I thought I had all the time in the world? Because you'll never know when the next storm will blow through and what it will take away when it goes.
Just thinking.
M
-
My 6mo twin DD's are EBF and just started rice cereal on the first. Everything has been going fine except this morning one of them had a diaper rash (lots of redness around her anus). I read this as one of the signs of an allergy. BUT I did just buy a different brand diaper yesterday (which they have used randomly before w/no issues). Do you think its the cereal or the diaper? Im ready to start...
I often feel very aware of that... the fleeting moments we have. And yet, I hesitate to follow through on some things that have been ruminating in my head for quite a while. Been sitting here trying to search myself. What is it I am waiting for? Some sign, some words of encouragement, some new level of commitment to whatever task, a new wave of courage? What is it that keeps me an observer in some areas of life rather than a participant?
Self-doubt. Fear of failure or rejection, or of taking on too much, of letting someone else down. Then there is complacency, the comfort of familiarity. Other times it's simply a lack of energy or motivation, or a sense of defeat without ever starting. Areas to work on and fears to overcome.
Surely the next storm will come.
That is beautiful and the symbolism of it all is so true with our lives... as well as the visualization. There used to be an old tree that I loved to look at... it never had many birds on it... but just the way it look and the mystery behind its long existence even after its death just gave a "presence" to it. Eventually the city chopped it down and It was such an odd feeling to not see it anymore.
Last week at work, my boss and I were talking about things that we'd like to do that we have never done. She is truly excited for my trip to England and we talk about it a lot. Next year, her daughter wants to get married in Cancun, but her husband will not get on a plane for anything. I told her, "So what? Why not go by yourself?" She is seriously considering it.
The point I was making to her is that I don't want to be on my death bed laying there thinking, why didn't I try this or do that? Life is to short and most of my life I have lived for others or the way my parents told me to live.
The old messages would have told me that I was no good at writing so why try? And to be honest when I approached a publisher, I didn't think it would get published but I did not want to die wondering what would have been if I didn't try.
Sometimes for me, I need to just try things... not impulsively... but from now on I want that attitude of "why not?" Why not try it? Why not try things that I never thought possible before... I would like to think it is part of my journey...
Dave
I know that *smiling* but............