acoa sanctuary Community Group

The softer side of growing up in a dysfunctional home... a sanctuary to feel home with friends and never alone.

0 Online

Hobbitville 10/28/2010

Dear People,

I am so very happy to have my "home" back. I am looking around the site and it is very interesting. I just want to let everyone know that, I do continue to sruggle with my loss last year. I am hanging in there but I do struggle. I'm happy to say I have more good days than bad.

I tend to be an observer, and get my strength that way. Translate: painfully shy. I do not lurk. I observe. So if I seems so, please just know I am, a very reserved person. I may not be as out there as some, but it is just the way I am.

So if I just watch and don't always comment, it is just who I am. Not lurking and not, not sharing. But just trying to heal in my own way.

M

deleted_user 10/28/2010

((((((((((((((((((M))))))))))))))))))

Glad you made the Trip as well ;-) Very Grateful you are here, and Love ya just the way you are....

Love & Prayers Friend

1ness.... :0)

Messenger2010 10/28/2010

Everybody has those days and I love that word "observing," I have never been a fan of lurkers... to me that is a shaming word.

I don't think anybody suspects everybody to respond to everything. I know from the old board there were some members who were fearful to post... and none of us should ever be fearful to post...

I would like to think, that we are comfortable enough not to be fearful to say what we need to say or share...

Any way M, you are right this is an enormous site and it is kind of nice to log in once and you can go anywhere.

I look at Sanctuary as kind of a resting spot on our travels throughout this site. Our home... a place to sit and talk.... serious or light before we head back out to other places that are here....

Dave

Anagami 10/28/2010

I am so glad you are here! I also prefer using the word observing rather than lurking. There are times when I don't know how to respond or am dealing with my own stuff and won't post for a while. But I do come and read, and I do support my friends here with good thoughts and prayers. I am so grateful I can be myself here, no need to impress or please anyone. And I will always respect that we heal and process in different ways. Having said all this... back to the beginning. I am very happy you are here!

H.

deleted_user 10/28/2010

i, too am glad u r here and there is no "cookie cutter" way to recover---we all gotta do it our own way----that is what acceptance and tolerence is about----as to the lurking/observing thing, i always try to participate even if it is to send a hug---many times i have posted just wanted to not b invisible like back in my childhood, lying all alone , unnoticed, uncared 4---so 2 me if all observed and none posted, the place would dry up---i do respect others if they are shy, however 4 me, getting it out has helped me------i used to wen growing up, cry and noone noticed--noone cared----a board should b a place 4 support----i can''t support all the time, b/c i am dealing w/my own stuff or whatever, but 4 the most part, i try to acknowledge the person---its just like in a fac2fac meet, even thanking them 4 sharing if i have nothing else to offer can b enough 2 make that person who may have been a victim of gross neglect such as i was, can feel like they are visible

i hope this made sense

deleted_user 10/29/2010

((((M)))) I think this should be a place of no pressure - just be ourselves.
For my part, I sometimes just need to be away from human beings altogether.
We are all different. If I don't always respond to a post - it doesn't mean I don't care - it may simply mean I am exhausted. Just totally exhausted......or simply have things/life to deal with offline !!!!
I believe we must all walk our own journeys and our HPs guide us. To feel pressurised into being something we're not - which I suffered all through my childhood - is painful. To feel pressured tinto posting or replying would just put me off a place.
Sending you lots of love,
Karen.

Join the Conversation