((((((((((((((M))))))))))))))) Lifting You in Prayers My Friend... I've Had Weeks like that myself here of Late.. Life has been None Stop Changing, but I have realized It is time to me to Let Go of that Fact that she will ever Change, and Time for me to accept that relationship just ran out its life span...

I know for me, there is times I look back and See things that could have been differant, and from there I realize it was always a 2 way street, and the only time she ran over me was when I allowed it, the lessons were all in front of me, but was just to blind to see, that something are just not ment to be...

I'm sorry you have to go thru this and at this time... Its Tough when it All comes at you at one time... At least for me any how! I do a really good "program", up till about the 3rd or 4th thing in a row, Then its a repeat of "This to Shall Pass... This too Shall Pass" till I Think of it know more... Move on ... But Yes.. I Too Sometimes Just Need to be Angry, Own it, Greive it and Let Go!

Prayers to You, you have already showed Great Strength in your Journey... Chin Up Hobbit... "This too Shall Pass" You Are So Worth It :0) Please Take what you like & leave the Rest :0) Sending You ((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))) & <3<3<3Love <3<3<3 Your Way

Hobbit,

I know with my own brothers, we never had the choice that who our brothers would be. It was just fate... and though we share the same blood and yes have the same parents we are entirely different people.

It took my brothers years to understand when I told them that while we had the same parents, we were not raised by the same parents. My parents were younger, healthier and not in active alcoholism when they were kids... while they were older, settled, and alcoholics when I was a kid.

We shared nothing except a name. It used to rip me in two when I thought of all the things I missed by not having them in my life. I have three grown nephews I have never met, another nephew who I met when he was in diapers... he is now in his mid 20s... and two nieces I have seen three times and they are both in their 20s.

But then I realize that they missed out on my life as well... for me there were no winners, nor losers, with our relationship. It was just the way our lives have evolved.

I don't struggled with it anymore and except for one day on the calendar year, things like pain and regrets are just part of my memory... if I can get that one day out of my life I do believe my past will be in fact the past and nothing more...

In my thoughts and prayers,
Dave

In my experience, I can keep on bloodying my forehead by continuing to beat it against the proverbial wall, or I can let it go. There are many, many things of which I have let go in my life, while in other things I continue playing the game of "Mr. Head, meet Mr. Wall." For me, letting go of something becomes possible once I accept the reality that the person, place or thing to which I'm holding so tightly is in its own Higher Power's care, and therefore beyond my control.

More often than not, especially with the big ones, letting go is a process and not an event. As Dave so rightly pointed out, we and our siblings may have been birthed by the same people, but we were not raised by the same people, and over the years the family dynamics change and affect us all beyond any one family member's control (I'm reminded of John Bradshaw's mobile here.)

Rambling a bit here, but I guess where I'm headed is that there is peace in letting go and remembering that my Higher Power can create good from circumstances where I am unable to find any.

Hobbit.... I'm sorry for your pain, anniversaries are so difficult. I can relate to your hurt as well - the facebook post that so excludes you from the joy. I've suffered so many times in this way with my one sister. How can it not hurt? And anger... as I understand it, can be a natural stage of grief... I've had to grief the loss of this sister more than once it seems and in the processing of loss, have come to the final stage of grief which is acceptance. I have worked on establishing some close connections with others that can meet my needs for intimacy - do not expect it from her - she's not capable. I've often wondered if my sister intends to hurt me with her "joyous" moments spent with others... is she really that malicious (while I'm only the dumping ground for her own trauma/drama). But, I think I've come to understand it not conscious on her part, but an unconscious attempt to control and manipulate me - so I keep coming back, hoping for some crumbs knowing that she can give fresh, fragrant loaves to others. I've had to let go of hope and any expectation. And, grieve the loss.

I can only imagine how painful this must be for you Hobbit, the loss of your parents, and, the loss (physically and emotionally) of your sister. I send you HUGs and love. May your HP support, guide and nurture you through this difficult period.

I have a very cruel, vicious and inhumane sister who absolutely hates my guts- really, no joke- it is her wish i pass away so i don't keep exposing the family in public as i recover- she did everything she could do to harm me (i cut her off) like she demanded i give back what little we inherited from the perp b/c i erased his name off me, and it goes on

last week the karma caught up with her- she has a bad infection in her leg and had a heart attack (my lil bro. told me) and i felt NOTHING- No love - no hate- no concern and that is not me- i am loving and compassionate, but there was NOTHING in my heart 4 her- i just said "oh well" to my brother and told him NOT to get roped in to her evil web of using and abusing him as she long ago did me b4 i kicked her to the curb

yea, dna means nothing- its heart that counts- this woman, all i did wen i kicked her was ask HP to teach her the lessons she needs to B a more loving and humane person- i don't wish bad on her- i just want to keep the walls up as to her ever getting into my space

so i had to work through the anger first then let it go and i have