acoa sanctuary Community Group
The softer side of growing up in a dysfunctional home... a sanctuary to feel home with friends and never alone.
One of the really effective quit smoking tools is to have a collection of "flash cards" with which one keeps handy those slogans that are so helpful in quitting. (My personal favorite was, "There is no such thing as just one.")
It occurred to me earlier today that such a collection of flash cards would be a great tool in recovery. Whenever my thinking is headed off the road and into the ditch, the appropriate 12-Step slogan, mantra or recovery truth would be a great help in getting my brain back on the right track.
Have any of you had a collection of flash cards (or an electronic equivalent, i.e. smartphone?) What sort of things might you keep on your own stack of cards? I'll get the ball rolling:
I'm not responsible...
- for others' feelings
- for how others choose to act on, up, out or in their feelings
The three Cs: I didn't Cause it, I can't Cure it, and I can't Control it.
Easy Does It
It occurred to me earlier today that such a collection of flash cards would be a great tool in recovery. Whenever my thinking is headed off the road and into the ditch, the appropriate 12-Step slogan, mantra or recovery truth would be a great help in getting my brain back on the right track.
Have any of you had a collection of flash cards (or an electronic equivalent, i.e. smartphone?) What sort of things might you keep on your own stack of cards? I'll get the ball rolling:
I'm not responsible...
- for others' feelings
- for how others choose to act on, up, out or in their feelings
The three Cs: I didn't Cause it, I can't Cure it, and I can't Control it.
Easy Does It
God Grant Me the Serenity...
Detach With Love
One Moment at a Time
NONE Of My Business
Live & Let Live
I Just Found this Buddhist Proverb today on my Tea Box =) An I Liked it :)
If You Want to Know Your Past
Look Into Your Present Conditions
If you Want to Know Your Future
Look into Your Present Actions =)
I To (((A1))) Love the Quick Catches that can Keep Me From Back Peddling at a High Rate of Speed, Had Someone told me in Al-Anon that A Four Word Sentence would save me from myself I would have Laughed... Now they are My Saving Grace =)
Another Favorite for Me is: How Important Is It =)
Thanks for the Kick Off A1 :) Can't wait to Check Back
If I keep doing what I've been doing, I'm gonna keep getting what I've been getting.
Don't just do something, stand there!
I think back to when I surrendered to alcoholism and I thought I knew all of my problems stemmed from just that one defect. I was wrong when I started reading John Bradshaw I learned (and believed) that alcoholism wasn't my "real" problem... I was an alcoholic but there was more to it. Alcoholism was a secondary illness... my main issue was codependency.
And as I learned more about codependency I found ACOA and realize I had this "problem" from very early on in my life... in fact it was my life which is why, "I refuse to accept the responsibility of others as my own."
Before I found my own saying, I lived my whole recovery life around one saying and that was (and still is) "First Things First." And the reason is, no matter how important something appears it doesn't matter unless I take care of myself First....
I love this...
"Don't just do something, stand there!" lol
My impulsiveness at times has me scratching my head wondering "What were you thinking?" lol
I am going to remember this one... I like it a lot
Dave
I read the last few threads and I was thinking lots about I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE....
I love that now, I say that to me all over and I feel calm.
Thanks
Love you all
I spent this weekend visiting my parents and I can't tell you the amount of times I had to say the Serenity Prayer and remind myself that my mother's bitterness and resentfulness is HER sickness. I am not responsible. I was a bit worried when she had wine on the Saturday but I went to bed early...the atmosphere was starting to change. Poor old dad just fell asleep! Bless him! (oh and got in trouble for that!!!!) he'd been up really early and is no youngster - but i didn't get involved in their tension...she was sniping at him.
I made very sure to protect myself by not getting dragged into their rows.
I am exhausted - so more on that some other time.
What i will say is that they treated me lovingly (to the best of their ability ) and I treated them with kindess and love. It is a terribly sick environment but I have kept my side of the street clean and maintained my dignity.
They did the best they knew how and I did feel loved.
Thank God I have this program. I simply could not cope well without it.
Occasionally I said a shortened Serenity prayer with the words "God Give me Strength!!" Giggling!
(((hugs to everyone)))
Karen xx