Abstinence & Celibacy Support Group
The pressures of sex from peers, the media and culture can be overwhelming, but you are in total control of your body and celibacy is a choice that many are making. Find sanctuary with people who are choosing to abstain without fear of judgment.
okay so I tried abstinence again for a little bit but it did not work. I know its better to meet in public places but the guys I would meet would treat me like a gold digger because I always insisted they take me out. If they did take me out more than once it was like okay now its time for me to do something for them (sex of course).
So when I did let them come over just to spend time with me it would eventually turn into sex. Though I insisted that I did not want to, they would always give me the "we're grown adults. This is what grown people do" excuse. I tried dating older men because they seem to be more patient than the ones my age who just want to hit it and quit it or just be friends with benefits. Whereas the older ones at least take time to get to know me. Its just that they would make me feel stupid like some gullible little girl. When I bring up the Bible and my conscience, they say things like this isn't the Bible days anymore and things have changed.
So I decided just not to date period. Even when I have no desire at all to have sex and resist (both verbally and physically) I still suck at putting myself in compromising situations and letting them brainwash me with the guilt for not "returning the favors" or "giving them a chance".
But now my problem is I have some male friends that would like to hang out with me. How do I tell them I cant come to their house and be alone with them? I dont even want to tell them about my celibacy because its like guys take that as a challenge or something. So what do I say? I would like to hang out with one friend because I know he doesnt just want sex but Im so attracted to him Im afraid the flirting will turn into more and like I said I just havent figured out how to explain my celibacy to where guys will take me seriously and give up instead of taking it as a challenge. I've tried deleting all guys I had sex with out of my phone but boredom gets the best of me sometimes and its harder not to text back than to explain I cant communicate with them anymore because I no longer have sex.
So when I did let them come over just to spend time with me it would eventually turn into sex. Though I insisted that I did not want to, they would always give me the "we're grown adults. This is what grown people do" excuse. I tried dating older men because they seem to be more patient than the ones my age who just want to hit it and quit it or just be friends with benefits. Whereas the older ones at least take time to get to know me. Its just that they would make me feel stupid like some gullible little girl. When I bring up the Bible and my conscience, they say things like this isn't the Bible days anymore and things have changed.
So I decided just not to date period. Even when I have no desire at all to have sex and resist (both verbally and physically) I still suck at putting myself in compromising situations and letting them brainwash me with the guilt for not "returning the favors" or "giving them a chance".
But now my problem is I have some male friends that would like to hang out with me. How do I tell them I cant come to their house and be alone with them? I dont even want to tell them about my celibacy because its like guys take that as a challenge or something. So what do I say? I would like to hang out with one friend because I know he doesnt just want sex but Im so attracted to him Im afraid the flirting will turn into more and like I said I just havent figured out how to explain my celibacy to where guys will take me seriously and give up instead of taking it as a challenge. I've tried deleting all guys I had sex with out of my phone but boredom gets the best of me sometimes and its harder not to text back than to explain I cant communicate with them anymore because I no longer have sex.
So I think it's probably making things worse for you.
It's really great that you recognize your weaknesses and that you want to make a change. You can totally do that!! Take it from me, the longer you hold off on jumping into bed with someone, the more clearly you can see the patterns, the more easily you can identify the kind of men that only want sex, the more effectively you can build your self respect back up.
If you don't have a younger sister, just imagine that you do. What would you want for her? How would you want her to behave in these kinds of situations? That love and protection that you may feel toward a sister is exactly what you should be feeling toward yourself.
You are worthy of love and respect. We all are.