Yea i feel like that too, but youre younger than me and a girl, so dont worry about, get school done get a career going and you will be worth waiting for, no need to rush into something that isnt worth worrying about. hope that helps.

So how old are you/ It matters.

18 in a few months

I know that feeling well. I've had such awful experiences, that I've stopped dating all together. You're so young and have so much time to worry about soul mates and things like that. Take some time and focus on you :)

I think you are confused about some things. But I don't think you are realistic about how sex works.

twink,

Just because you have a past, who does not? It does not disqualify you for anything, let alone a relationship.

That being said, instead of looking for a boyfriend or worrying about whether you will have one or not, as sbholt mentioned, you'd be better off working on yourself, having a career, working on yourself esteem and all those other things will be added unto you.

As an aside, from what I am seeing in your post, your depression stems from the thoughts of lack you are entertaining. So perhaps, it would be better if you were to look at what you do have right now.

Not to be inconsiderate but at 17, it is not your whole life, it is a part of it, yes. I am in my fifties and I cannot say I've waited my whole life for something because I do not know how long it will be. But more to the point, it is hyperbolic thoughts like that, that actually make you feel worse.

You need to stop waiting for someone to care for you and start doing it yourself, start loving yourself, treating yourself well. And as someone suggested to me once which is true, you should fall in love with yourself. In other words, make you the most important person in your life, instead of waiting for someone to do it for you.

People are attracted to others who are confident and have a healthy self esteem, even if they have a past, they do not allow someone's rejections to bother them because they know they do not need to be in a relationship to be happy. Happiness, they know, it is an inside job.

Wolf

I understand what you mean. I have not had a boyfriend in a year and a half as well. I do miss having someone to spend my time with and I always call myself a hopeless romantic but I would definitely rather be alone than have to worry about someone cheating on me or hurting me. I know how it feels to be hurt multiple times and that is something I never want to feel again so I don't mind waiting for the right guy instead of wasting my time dating guys in the safe zone or guys I know it wont work with.

How can you have a 'past' when you are only 17? That makes no sense.

It is possible to have a past by 17, depending on how early in life you started getting into crap and how much you got into. Kids start at young ages these days. There isn't a time limit or quota on how long it takes to make mistakes and mess up your life. I appreciate all the advice, that is in fact why i dont have a boyfriend, not that several ppl havent asked, just that i know deep down they arent gonna be the one worth worrying about and risking things for. If i feel like it cant last long, i wont waste my time. I do hold out for higher standards and better things. I'm just saying it's really lonely. I try really hard to just do me, and focus on my life, and i'm pretty ok and confident with everything, I just go back to these moments after awhile because lonliness at points seems really unbearable. I'm sure 17 seems so young that my feelings seem trivial to everyone who are adults, but it is still real and i guess I'm worried that I may never end up with someone, because if the perfect man came into my life as soon as tomorrow, I would probably be so skeptical I'd push him away and miss my opportunity. In the back of my mind i cant help but wonder if 99% of relationships don't involve cheating, abuse, divorce, or some major hurt/devastation at some point. And as another point, i'm young enough that its not like i've waited around my whoolleee life for a relationship that hasnt come, only a few years, yeah, but i cant explain how bitter I am when I just want a friend to go somewhere with, and I dont have one. I go eat by myself, spend a lot of time by myself, because my few chick friends have active love lives or boyfriends, and even the same with guys, unless they're single and therefore not my friend for long after they c i wont be a screw buddy. Like this past weekend, I went down my whole contacts list asking every friend I knew if they'd go with me to a play downtown, and everyone was too busy. With other people. I have no one of my own. Even my best friend, she agreed to go, but brought a guy she's talking to. I have been a 3rd wheel so long... I wish so much they could turn into double dates. I don't like being the odd number, every time I go out.

twinkie,

Again, having a past does not disqualify anyone from eventually finding someone who would want to be with them.

I am not trivializing your feelings but I do think you are magnifying the issue, being young, it is perfectly normal to do so, when we are young we tend to make things worse than they really are because our emotions have not been balanced and there is no experience to gain perspective.

When I was your age, everything was a huge deal and this very issue you raise was a huge deal to me. As I got older, however, it seemed less of an issue.

Try to be patient with yourself and try not to worry so much. However, to overcome loneliness, perhaps you can help others, like in a animal shelter where critters are just as lonely as you and need as much love as you can give them, for instance.

As for the romantic aspect, you never know if you'll meet the perfect guy, but you may meet the perfect guy for you. I suggest what suggested earlier which was to work on yourself and learn to love yourself and be alone in your own company.

I do think it is sad that at 17 you are already bitter. Perhaps, if you stopped to consider that, in spite of what has happened already in your life, it is not what happens to you that defines your mood and outlook but how you process those events that makes all the difference.

I have had some doozies happened in my life that an average person may use as a perfect excuse to get bitter and after a while I had to stop that practice because I realized my happiness never was about what happened or failed to happen but about how I wanted to feel about life.

Wolf

Your feelings don't seem trivial, and please take it from some of the older posters here when we tell you not be in a hurry to grow up. I got married when I was 18 years old, and it was the biggest mistake of my life. I was a very mature 18 year old, but I was still too young and never gave myself time to live my life for myself. I know it's a rough road as a "third wheel", but just hang in there. You have many years yet to find the right person :)

I have ALWAYS been the 3rd wheel if not the 5th wheel whenever I'm out with "my friends" too; It almost always just plain sucks. What I have been filling/ releasing my mind with is art. It just helps a great deal to "get stuff out" where it will not REAlly injure others or myself.
best of luck

Whatch what you want because you might get it. I was that way when I was young. I felt like those boys who wanted quick sex are just to shalow. I got the man that I wanted that cares about me and whole thing. The only problem, it is hard to get sex out of him. So instead of trying to find perfect man it is better to look for healthy proportions like it might be not that much of gentleman as you want but still has at least some interest in women.