For one thing sex is not dirty dtaff and for the other what respect has to do with it at all. Do you think that you do not respect woman if you want to have sex with her? Who told you that?

Well, considering how many sluts I've slept with... YES! I sort of do associate sex with disrespect.. I think that is the problem and it comes from watching a long of porn, and having a lot of porno girlfriends because i was in the nightclub/sex industries in my earlier years. I think all that stuff sort of screwed me up whenever i meet someone new i don't know how to think normally, romantically, and include that with sex.. it's either romance OR sex.... but i will take it slow, maybe i just love her too much to turn it into the same-old sexual relationship everything turns into.

I realize this is celibacy forum so maybe this is not the right place, I am sorry.. but i was celibate 5 years before now.. a record for sure for me by many years.

chow.

Just wanted to post the anxiety is history ;)

Who knows? Maybe coming here for support although i didn't really get any helped?

Sometimes just confessing your negative emotions can help you through them i believe it's like going to the confession booth in church.

neilster,

I wanted to bring something to your attention that you mentioned and the truth of the matter is that porn has indeed twisted not only the way you view sex but also the way you see women. Because that's what porn does, plain and simple.

Just by the way you describe women you've been with calling them sluts tells me you've spent one too many hours indulging in porn when you should actually be seeking recovery from your addiction to have a healthy view of women and sex.

Women are not sluts, they are human beings and should not be never be reduced to cheap slurs just because they may be having more sex than other women, that's a bias that has to end. The reason why I am bringing this up is because, that attitude will eventually spill out into any potential relationship.

I do think that you respect this woman you are interested in at the moment, as much as you are threatened by the prospect that your reality of actually having sex with a live person may not be as fulfilling as the porn scenarios you've seen, there is a huge part there going on for you if you stop to admit it. I say this because if you truly respected her, you would not be calling other women sluts.

Your best bet would be to actually stop your porn addiction, seek a recovery program and then start a relationship because it will impact on your relationship in ways I am sure you've noticed already. The truth is that you do NOT need porn, there are healthier ways to take care of your sexual needs, that does not include prostitutes, sex clubs, etc or porn.

Been there, done that and it did not work out,
Wolf

Agree with wolfiepa on "the truth of the matter is that porn has indeed twisted not only the way you view sex but also the way you see women".
I know about one case when man was taken from the street into mental facility because after he was viewing porn for a while it started to seem to him that all women were sluts and he started approaching every woman he seen that day on the central street of the town with indecent offers. Somebody called mental hospital. I am not sure on his diagnosis because that was about 10 years ago before I got married. My father is psychiatrist that is how I knew about it but I do not remember the diagnosis because that was long ago.The thoughts like that can bring person way too far. In some cases it is better do not watch porn at all unless the person is impotent and it helps to achieve errection.

i also agree with wolfiepa

You said that you were in the porn industry. I want to congratulate you on getting out of it. It probably , among possibly other things caused you to have such a distaste for sex. The porn industry thrives on men's lack of knowledge of the differrences between male and female sexuality and of femininity as a whole. Many women want to be satisfied emotionally during and before sex. They unlike guys and the women in the porn industry are aroused emotionally. They also value sexual faithfulness in their partner. If they are met in such emotional areas and are made to feel special by their partner there is a stong chance she'll NO WAY want another guy even if he is a sex symbol or in some other way physically sexy. So relax with her, make her feel special an d when sex comes along....she can be as vulnerable as you are. But stop competing in your head with other guys and keep away from those women of questionable character so as not to worsen your perception of women. And remember that those women in the sex industry were giving a fraudulant depiction of femininity and female sexuality to make guys happy. They close themselves off emotionally while doing what they are contracted to do. That is proof enough of the fraudulant depiction they give of femininity and female sexuality. By the way, you, me and everybody else you encounter here and elsewhere came into the world as by means of sexually relating. We and they are proof that sex is not disgusting.