Look, I am not certain why you are relying on others to support you when you should be the one doing the emotional support to yourself. Do you think I have people cheering me every time I tell them a celibate? Not even!

So they are laughing at you? So what? So they are calling you names? So what? Seriously, stick to your plan and stop looking for support because you are not going to get it where you are looking for it. Is this crystal clear to you now?

Let me give you a newsflash, being a man has NOTHING to do whether you've had sex as soon as you possibly could or not, being a man has to do with ethics, values and ability to stick to goals that you can be proud of and trust me, having lost your virginity at whatever age is NOT a goal, capsice?

I think you are spending too much listening to idiots and you are not one of them, by the way. Stay as you are, after all, being yourself is not easy but it is rewarding, the reward is peace of mind and wonderful people in your life.

I do not know where you are hanging out and with whom, but I strongly suggest you change your friends, there are tons of people out there with your values but you have got to look for them instead of sticking to the idiots you are with.

Looks have nothing to do with it, with that attitude you have now, where anyone says gets to you and you start to doubt yourself, you'll never find anyone worthy of you, you gotta have self esteem and love, respect yourself for this daunting journey.

So start by getting books on how to raise your self esteem or even go to a therapist to learn how to see yourself differently, and this issue won't be an issue anymore but a way of life for you in the meantime.

So stick to those who support you ONLY, how hard is that? Unless, you actually enjoy or believe everything those idiots tell you, you need to turn a deaf ear.

As my mom would say, "It takes a real man to say no to things that are not good for him." So say no and often regardless of what it is being said about you. Sure, you'll be rejected and teased, so what? It happens whenever anyone lives against the grain.

Welcome to my world as I often say. But if I have been able to do it since 1998 and I am way older than you, so if I can stick to my guns so can you.

Just a thought,
Wolf

i feel like i need support cause the lifestyle without sex has more consequences later on in life at least from health perspective and people tell me that life is short and it is but do i have to always put sex into everything i do to be happy and satisfied that is what everyone is telling me to do. and its not that i don't have self esteem but its getting to a point where its going unnoticed because i don't get laid and don't have a girlfriend.

What kind of dire consequences could a life without sex entail? Healthwise or otherwise? Did you know that it is actually the opposite? Having sex carries the risk of acquiring an STD that may or may not be incurable.

I do not know who on Earth you've been talking to but it is most surely the most erroneous information to date. Happiness is an inside job, if it depended on outside sources, it would be futile.

Are you actually saying that if you do not have a girlfriend or get laid, your life is pointless? Yet you tell me your self esteem is healthy? It is not, by a large margin. If you need outside support, and you feel you need a girlfriend or get laid to be noticed and not by the fact that you are alone and in one piece, then I could safely say that your self esteem is nowhere to be seen.

People who have a healthy self-esteem do not need anyone to tell them anything that does not agree with their values, they do not need anyone to love them because they love themselves and having someone to love them is nice but necessary, they do not bother with people's opinions because their opinions are the only ones that matter.

What you need to be happy is a change of perspective, I am going to tell you this one more time and I will not repeat myself, YOU are the ONLY one who can make you happy, not another person.

YOU are the ONLY one who can stick to your guns, YOU are the ONLY one responsible on how you live your life, no one else.

So you have two choices left: You either live by your own rules regardless on whether you get support or not or you sacrifice, and I stress this as strongly as I can on text, your own set of values to be accepted.

But remember once you make that sacrifice, it'll be downhill from there. So I say this harshly but it comes from a place of care and concern: Be a man and stick to your values, in spite of the opposition.

Raise your self esteem, learn to love yourself as you are, and if you cannot do that, seek a therapist who can help you, deal? Because I can tell you that whatever you've been told is utter rubbish.

No one has ever died from not having sex, if that were true then the all the Buddhist monks would be dead by now and, are in fact healthier because they are not ruled by the trappings of this world like you seem to be.

As for life being short, that may or not be true, but, personally, I would rather live it by my own terms than by the rules of others. But I can tell you that sex is not what they tell you it is, it can be fun but only if you find someone who loves you and appreciates you.

You cannot have sex nilly willy and that not have a profound effect on your self esteem in the long run. Eventually it catches up with you. So I am trying to stop you before you make an irrevocable mistake.

So as I often say, the choice is always yours.

Wolf

but im loosing everything by having this lifestyle though, friends, family, dignity, i tell my sister to not have sex cause she is still young and has a great future for her but even she doesn't have respect for me its hard to look forward when everyone blocks your way. thanks for saying those things though i worked on myself all my life but its hard to not compare myself to others when others seem more happy then me even though i seem to have more going for me. I guess i need to see that maybe i am worth as a friend to people and not always a lover for everyone. thank you

I know that being different hurts and even incurs losses but you have got to stay true to yourself.

You have got to see that you are YOU and comparing yourself to others is useless because there is no comparison, as apples comparing themselves to oranges, you know?

And while it may seem like they are having fun, it may not all be that much fun, so don't fool yourself into thinking the way they do.

You have far more going for you than they are, a healthy body free from STDs, and a set of values is hard to come by.

As for family, do you really want the respect of people whose values the same as your own. So they do not respect you, look at how they really are and ask yourself if you still want their respect.

I think you have been misled here, and the fact is that no one has to respect you, love you or care about you, there is no law that says so. Hence, what can you do about that? You need to feel that way about yourself and once that is established, you'll choose whom you want in your life and you won't need anyone's approval, respect
or love.

That is what I want to get across to you. That you are looking at the absolute mistaken way. Look at it as you having it figured out and they being misled big time by illusions, and approval from the wrong sources.

So stop the comparisons, the self-defeating talk and be proud that you are doing the right thing for you, sure it'll be hell but the rewards are sweeter.

No one ever said that the road towards self assertion was going to be easy, but the harder you dig in your heels and the stronger you stand in your resolve the easier it will become to tell them to take a hike, family or strangers.

If I had a dime for every time a family member tell me how to live my life or intimidate me into giving up my ethics, i'd be a millionaire.

So you are not alone, rest assured on that but I now have family members who love me and respect me for having stuck to my guns, mind you they were not the ones who did the digging but saw me stand up to them and that inspired them to do the same in their lives.

Wolf

OK. at least now we know you have sister and brother. I kind was thinking that you had no relatives.
I have brother too. I do not think that he ever cared whether I had sex or no. I was kind of preocupied when he was in your age that he might get some incurable vinerial desiase at that age because most of his friends were ready to have sex with about anybody including prostitutes. And men in that age usualy do not have their own opinion. They do what everybody else does. I destroyed couple of their attempts (my brother's and my causins's-same age) to have sex with prostitutes. That dropped them in the eyes of their friends and they were deeply hating me for that till they got old enough to understand that I was right. They were ashamed of me most of the time in early age. At least now I am enjoying to see that both of them married decent girls, having good families and do not have any desiases.
Other thing which could problem in their lifes was opportunity to have sex whith much older women. Several of their friends distroyed their lifes like that. We passed that problem too. Unfortunately while looking after them I myself got married to much older man but oh, weel nobody was watching out for me because I am the older sister.