Abstinence & Celibacy Support Group
The pressures of sex from peers, the media and culture can be overwhelming, but you are in total control of your body and celibacy is a choice that many are making. Find sanctuary with people who are choosing to abstain without fear of judgment.
Hi
In addition to being a possible alcoholic as well as suffering from travel related anxiety I am in a sexless marriage.
The sexless marriage part is because I find my wife physically unattractive. She is a wonderful woman who is very supportive of my anxiety issues and, as of late, I've made a lot of progress being able tot travel.
However, she is a bit older than I and definitely over weight. She recently lost her job which has been a blessing because it has afforded her the opportunity to go to the gum regularly - I bought us a couples membership as a Christmas gift.
According to her calculations she has lost 6 pounds. However, in my mind she needs to lose somewhere between 40 and 50 pounds.
The alleged weight she has lost does not appear to be substantiate to me and so I rely on free internet porn to "get off" which adds to my sexual frustration. I am a married man who would like to have sex with an actual living female and yet the idea of seeing my wife naked literally makes me nauseous means my only avenue to sexual gratification is to masturbate to free porn I find on the Internet.
In addition to being a possible alcoholic as well as suffering from travel related anxiety I am in a sexless marriage.
The sexless marriage part is because I find my wife physically unattractive. She is a wonderful woman who is very supportive of my anxiety issues and, as of late, I've made a lot of progress being able tot travel.
However, she is a bit older than I and definitely over weight. She recently lost her job which has been a blessing because it has afforded her the opportunity to go to the gum regularly - I bought us a couples membership as a Christmas gift.
According to her calculations she has lost 6 pounds. However, in my mind she needs to lose somewhere between 40 and 50 pounds.
The alleged weight she has lost does not appear to be substantiate to me and so I rely on free internet porn to "get off" which adds to my sexual frustration. I am a married man who would like to have sex with an actual living female and yet the idea of seeing my wife naked literally makes me nauseous means my only avenue to sexual gratification is to masturbate to free porn I find on the Internet.
Let me be frank, losing one's job is not something to take lightly, you somehow find it a blessing because it will benefit you somehow. You say she is a wonderful woman yet you deny those qualities by saying that you find her nauseous to look at.
Then you further state that according to your standards, she should lose somewhere between 40 or 50 lbs and then blame her for your porn addictiion.
As a former addict, I can tell you that your wife is an actual living female with feelings and opinions and those you see acting out your twisted fantasies in porn scenes are anything but real.
I suggest you get help for your addctiion and learn to respect and care for yoiur wife. You also could stand to lose about 500 lbs of ego. It seems to be clouding your judgment.
I accept that you may not find her attractive but to say you get naseous to look at her crosses a line and it is is very hurtful and truly inconsiderate. I am sure that you may not be a dreamboat either.
Maybe couple's therapy could be useful also.
Wolf
Your wife has some extra weight on and you are not happy and thus avoid her sexually. What is one man's trash is another man's treasure.
Listen, the love for your wife should suffice. It is good she wants to please you by loosing weight but you should not avoid her sexually.
I have a number of men who are showing me interest now. I can have these men satisfy my sexual appetite but I don't because I am not married to them. I am tempted to just pick one I like most to be with. Right now I like three professional men all are single. If my husband did not ignore me in bed I would never have had the chance to meet so many men.
So stop talking your wife for granted. While you are using your hands to pleasure you, some sexy professional man will be more than happy to satisfy your wife and take her away. Like I said, what is one man's trash is another man's treasure.
When I decide who I what to be with, I will have so much sex to make up for the sexless boring marriage I am in.
You are married to an older woman who has recently lost her job. You think she's way overweight and when you look at her you feel sick.
I don't know why you are choosing to stay with her while being so cruel, I can only imagine its because she's useful to you as a therapist and counsellor.
Do one kind thing and get out of this woman's life so that she can find someone who will love her and find her sexy just the way she is. Then you'll be free to go out and find one of these young hotties you find so attractive and sexy for the real physical relationship you say you want. I just hope they fancy you!
My guess is that you have not been completely honest with your wife about how much you need her to lose that weight, or your addiction to pornography. Have you considered getting some assertiveness training? Even purchasing a workbook on how to be clear about your needs in a healthy way? Your honesty is helpful and refreshing, and yet it tells me that you may be in as much of a need for a make-over as your wife, if you are being passive-aggressive about things. Watching porn is a very passive aggressive act. Those women are not real, and you know this. You'll never be able to control a woman like you control them in your mind while watching porn. Those women don't want you.
I understand you need to work your sexual tension out, but there has got to be another way. And if I were you, I would tell your wife how you feel about her body and your marriage. Maybe you two can help each other. Losing weight is probably much easier than dropping an addiction to pornography and alcohol.
I am praying for you now. You can do this!!!!! Obviously you stayed with your wife for a reason. I hope it's a good one. I believe in you.
TAKE COLD SHOWERS.... yuch yuch !