Abstinence & Celibacy Support Group
The pressures of sex from peers, the media and culture can be overwhelming, but you are in total control of your body and celibacy is a choice that many are making. Find sanctuary with people who are choosing to abstain without fear of judgment.
Hi Everyone,
I am new to this board. I am a current seminary student and BIble college graduate. I've been thinking about celibacy for a long time. I really want children, but I do know that it is possible in today's age for a single woman to have kids through fostering, adoption, or even in-vitro. I have never been interested in sex in my life. For most of my life, I haven't had any real interest in men either. I dated one guy, but we only held hands and gave each other side hugs. I tried to force myself to think of sex when I was with him, but I just couldn't make myself do it. I got grossed out by the thought. I'm really awkward around sex...like, super awkward.
I'm so confused at the moment. I was very sure I wanted to be celibate until just this year. Now I am interested in dating and getting married, but still hate the idea of sex, even though I think for most people, sex is expected in a marriage. I've been seeing a therapist, but she's a Christian and single and also really awkward talking about sex so she's not very helpful in that area.
I was sexually assaulted a year ago and thought I was pregnant. Ends up, I'm not. I'm wondering if that is the reason that now I want to be in a relationship and have kids more? I'm just seriously so confused by this whole thing...
Also, I started masturbating. My religious views (as a Christian) would be somewhat against that...but my non-Christian therapist (the one I saw right after the assault, who was great except that she only was able to see me a limited number of times due to her practice regulations) recommended it to me. At first I felt very guilty doing it, but now I see it as a good thing. It's certainly helped me to feel more sexual about myself and to understand myself as a sexual being since my entire life I have never felt sexual before. Still, I have a hard time thinking of a man doing those things to me. P.S. I'm not saying that every Christian on this board has to agree, I'm NOT. I'm just saying it worked for me. I respect your views if it didn't work for you.
I feel bad. I want a partner, but no sex. My friends all say I am sinning and being selfish and not being fair to my partner. That I need to do what he wants, which is have sex all the time. I seriously am trying so hard to be sexual. I really am. It's just not working. I'm even thinking of watching porn just to help me to become more sexual, but I am afraid of what that would do. I want to please my future husband...but I can't help but think I am asexual... Any ideas or help you can offer?
I am new to this board. I am a current seminary student and BIble college graduate. I've been thinking about celibacy for a long time. I really want children, but I do know that it is possible in today's age for a single woman to have kids through fostering, adoption, or even in-vitro. I have never been interested in sex in my life. For most of my life, I haven't had any real interest in men either. I dated one guy, but we only held hands and gave each other side hugs. I tried to force myself to think of sex when I was with him, but I just couldn't make myself do it. I got grossed out by the thought. I'm really awkward around sex...like, super awkward.
I'm so confused at the moment. I was very sure I wanted to be celibate until just this year. Now I am interested in dating and getting married, but still hate the idea of sex, even though I think for most people, sex is expected in a marriage. I've been seeing a therapist, but she's a Christian and single and also really awkward talking about sex so she's not very helpful in that area.
I was sexually assaulted a year ago and thought I was pregnant. Ends up, I'm not. I'm wondering if that is the reason that now I want to be in a relationship and have kids more? I'm just seriously so confused by this whole thing...
Also, I started masturbating. My religious views (as a Christian) would be somewhat against that...but my non-Christian therapist (the one I saw right after the assault, who was great except that she only was able to see me a limited number of times due to her practice regulations) recommended it to me. At first I felt very guilty doing it, but now I see it as a good thing. It's certainly helped me to feel more sexual about myself and to understand myself as a sexual being since my entire life I have never felt sexual before. Still, I have a hard time thinking of a man doing those things to me. P.S. I'm not saying that every Christian on this board has to agree, I'm NOT. I'm just saying it worked for me. I respect your views if it didn't work for you.
I feel bad. I want a partner, but no sex. My friends all say I am sinning and being selfish and not being fair to my partner. That I need to do what he wants, which is have sex all the time. I seriously am trying so hard to be sexual. I really am. It's just not working. I'm even thinking of watching porn just to help me to become more sexual, but I am afraid of what that would do. I want to please my future husband...but I can't help but think I am asexual... Any ideas or help you can offer?
Thanks for your answer. I think you're right. I've often thought that maybe I have not felt sexual towards someone yet because I just haven't met the right person. For now I feel like being single and finding out more about myself and doing things that are easier to do as a single person like spending a year abroad. Sometimes I just feel like there's a lot of societal pressure to date even if someone doesn't want to. I feel strange and awkward because most other people struggle with lust and I never have in my life...but then in a sense as a Christian I think that is something to thank God for. Maybe one day I'll met the right person and I won't feel this way anymore...