Abstinence & Celibacy Support Group
The pressures of sex from peers, the media and culture can be overwhelming, but you are in total control of your body and celibacy is a choice that many are making. Find sanctuary with people who are choosing to abstain without fear of judgment.
Do you rely on masturbation to have a release and help remain a virgin . Do you find masturbation helps or makes it more difficulty to remain a virgin until marriage .
I feel that when I masturbate , I think about what sex and intercourse would be like so the temptation is stronger .
I feel that when I masturbate , I think about what sex and intercourse would be like so the temptation is stronger .
This is nature's call.
While I am not a virgin anymore, I have been celibate since 1998, I think I can offer some assistance on this matter.
I disagree with the assertion that we are hard wired for sex because I believe that we have three basic needs, lest we die: air, water and food. Sex is an option and when we see it as such, then we can move towards making better choices for ourselves.
Sex is hardwired in animals, as in they need to reproduce, lest their species die off. We are animals yet there are plenty of us (to me, way too many of us) so we have the luxury of not having to reproduce.
So, where does this leave you as a young man with raging hormones? I can tell you that my hormonal influx at times is rather high, specially in the early morning. Do I gratify myself every morning? No, I simply get up and go about my day, eventually the urge subsides.
Indulging by way of fantasies actually works against you. I can tell you that when you actually have sex, it will not be anything close to how you imagined it to be which ought to assist you in realizing that you are wasting your time, trying to address this urge in this particular manner.
Do not get me wrong, I am not anti self gratification. It is a healthy outlet but it cannot become a crutch, then it becomes a compulsion which then turns unhealthy.
Any time, you add the word: need to any practice, it becomes unhealthy. Personally, I do not rely on anything to keep me celibate because for me this is a daily practice, a way of life as it were, since I decided that sex is not a need in my life.
When you reach that point, then your life totally changes, and you no longer live your life around lack of sex but actually live your daily life in a healthy way.
Before you know it, you'll be able to avoid temptation because nothing temps you since sex is not important to you and your focus is elsewhere.
Hope this helps,
Wolf
Best advice I can offer is to manage your masturbation, if it is an obsession then complete abstinance is probably what you need. If it is simply occassional and not increasing in frequency they that may be okay, but the fact you're on this site suggests otherwise.