I personally don't always find it challenging, I guess it's the strength you get once you make that decision that you would like to abstain, it gives you a strength, and you've had a promise which your obliged to keep - whether it's with yourself or god. Alot of people advice that should keep away from situations that will test you at the beginning - for example bedrooms, or being alone with your boyfriend/date, and just generally not puttiing yourself in a situation that might end up with you having to justify your choices. If you want to talk then send me a message - its helpful to have someone in the same situation to talk to :-)

I'm spiritual to an extent, but I have the same issue you do. My God doesn't really care if I have sex or not, as long as I am not harming myself with it. I have such a sordid history of sex, and my real deep down issue is how I see myself as a lowly POS. Having sex is so many things to me, it's release, it's instinct, it's a right, it's fun, it's a workout, but the bad thing is it's never the right emotions. I don't sleep with the people I actually like. I've only had sex with one love. The rest, it was what I listed before, and the worst reason though, like I said, is to tear myself down to something disturbingly disgusting.

So, without a God, how do I abstain? Well, honestly, I never did. I kept caving. After two months or so, the opportunity would arise and I would fall.

I like what JaiJai said. Avoid the situations to start. Thanks JaiJai.

Sorry I'm of no help, but I'm glad I could write that. I'm glad someone else is like me, without a God involved in my quest to keep my legs shut. Thanks for the post.

I am NOT doing this for religious reasons. I don't even know if I believe in God, but I don't think that's what this group should be about. I have a fear of helplessness. I don't want to give away my body because it feels right at the time. There's too much regret. I want sex to be an act of love and devotion to someone that will always cherish me. I were a chastity ring, so I can look down and see that this is important.
You commend so much respect from others that know you're controlling yourself. Sex is seen as more causal than it should be. Trust your decision to abstain; there's a reason you chose to wait. When you know what's important, saying no gets much easier. There's someone out there that's willing to wait for you, because he/she will stay. Be willing to pass up good for great. Focus your energy. There is an amazing power in a strong intention.

There's no religious reason for me....since I'm atheist. But for me, there's no strength required because I have no real desire and no one breaking down my door to create any desire. *shrugs* Is it really that bad?