Abstinence & Celibacy Support Group
The pressures of sex from peers, the media and culture can be overwhelming, but you are in total control of your body and celibacy is a choice that many are making. Find sanctuary with people who are choosing to abstain without fear of judgment.
I am 27 years old and have had one short relationship. I had sex a couple times with her and thats all Ive ever had. Growing up as a guy I have seen all of my friends have all kinds of gf's or they would have girls to have sex with. I feel that nobody wants me cause I have had only one gf and she was the only one that wanted to have sex. Maybe I'm being hard on myself but I feel maybe Im to ugly, to weird, or woman just dont like me. I know sex isnt everything but its more just wanting someone to like me and be close to.
When I do talk to a girl I feel I have to tell her i haven't dated that much and then they ask why? I say i haven't met the right one. but im sure they think im weird for not having many dates. Im so confused?
When I do talk to a girl I feel I have to tell her i haven't dated that much and then they ask why? I say i haven't met the right one. but im sure they think im weird for not having many dates. Im so confused?
I hate to say it but with such negative attitude, it is no wonder, you are unable to find anyone in your life.
A change of attitude is what is needed here. You do not have to explain anything to anyone. If anyone asks you why you do not date much, say that you are picky, leave it at that. There should be no shame involved in the matter.
If you are looking to date, you need to first learn to be alone, accept and love yourself exactly as you are, without judgments. First work on yourself and the rest will happen on its own.
I was given the best advice when I was struggling with the same issues, to become what you are looking for. Like attracts like,women like men who are confident and know what they want out of life, men who are thoughtful and considerate but most of all, they are attracted to men who know how to love others and they love themselves.
i was like you, now that I decided to be celibate since 1998, I have dated a few times, i still get asked out but I decide who gets my time and attention for however length of time.
Just because you are a guy, it does not mean that you have to have had a gazillion dates on your belt to make worthy of anyone. That is just bunk.
You are still young, you have your whole life ahead if you. Enjoy your time alone while you can. Sex is not all they tell you it is. And there is nothing wrong with having had a few dates, if they say so, then they are neither your friends or anyone you want to date.
Best of luck,
Wolf
You should find activities where you get a feel of your strengths when around other people. Then you come to like yourself for your strengths.
When you like yourself, and become less worried about being liked "from outside", someone else may like you too. You gain more "giving" energy and another person may be wanting to have some of it, and give you back some of their own energy.
I'm using dangerously broad strokes here, but women are not like men. For them, in a relationship, sex is a bit more abstract experience, an expression and amplifier of affection that already exists.
Sex in and of itself is nothing. In fact it's quite a horrible feeling for those of us who value actual _link_ with another person, to wake up next to them and, with hormonal haze temporarily gone, realize that we have nothing in common in everyday life.
Some people are built for casual sex or very frequent short relationships. Others are not.
You should find out your strengths, and what kind of person you are. Maybe you have "not yet developed" skills, interests where you want to put more energy, which can become new hobbies. In short, get the energy moving, and when it's moving, you start feeling who you are.
Then some things should start clicking into place.
If you find yourself perpetually depressed, it may go away when you learn to like things about yourself, OR you may need to find stronger anti-depressants. I really like Aikido training in that sense, it's the strongest natural anti-depressant I could find. But in the end, it's an individual choice.