Abstinence & Celibacy Support Group

The pressures of sex from peers, the media and culture can be overwhelming, but you are in total control of your body and celibacy is a choice that many are making. Find sanctuary with people who are choosing to abstain without fear of judgment.

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mbstone 09/03/2011

My ex-husband called tonight to check on my minor child. He stated that he has been sick and went to urgent care. He said "I don't know what I have and who knows maybe I have aids". I told him that I would hope he was protecting himself. He said, "You know what? If I found someone who I can be compatible with and we had the same goals, I wouldn't care if she had AIDS...you have to die sometime!!!!!" This is a man that I was married to for 20 years, had unprotected sex with his cousin's wife who in returned had a child out of his marriage. He told me he thought she "was safe"!!! In return I divorced him...What are your thoughts on this mentality??? By the way, I have been divorced from him for 3 years, seperated for 4 years and at 46 years old he is still the only man I have had sex with! At a loss on this one.....wow! Thanks for listening!

katy84 09/04/2011

I would tell him he is retared, who the hell wants AIDS no one. Truly the cost of medication, the maintaining your health on a healthy level, your immune system sucks, you can develop cancer. If you have doubts about whether he might have passed something on to you then free yourself and just go get tested. At least get checked once a year in general for your well woman exam along with the HIV testing. Plus, I would never have sex with that person again even if circumstances drew you to the possibility of that happening. If there is a doubt in your mind, go with your gut and just do whats safe. I hope your worries go away and this jackass doesn't freak you out anymore. That would be scary to hear from someone whom you trusted with your body for 20 years.

deleted_user 09/06/2011

He sounds like he is having anxiety issues and is not taking care of himself. Maybe he is nervous about the people he's been sleeping with. If someone he meets has HIV/AIDS and really cares about him though and they have the same goals, they're NOT going to want to infect him. It's also very hard for men to be infected by women. I knew a woman who was infected by transfusion, and she and her husband didn't know for another roughly 3-5 years I think. He never got it. The problem though would be if he had something and was infecting unknowing women with it. He should get tested for everything if he hasn't already. He may need to put himself in check, develop more respect for women and for himself.

deleted_user 09/20/2011

Although the statement is preposterous, I know what he means...
He just means that if the sincerest, truest connection was there, he'd risk ANYTHING for it. And which of us wouldn't? To an extent, you are now...hoping that staying chase will secure a happy marriage. While I believe it will increase the odds for you, there's no guarentee staying chase will make for a happy marriage.
Granted, AIDS is a terrible disease. ..but have you ever dated anyone in a wheel chair? I have. I had to lift that chair all the time and I'm not a young woman anymore. He's a wonderful guy but it's not the fact that he's in a wheelchair that put me off ...it was the chair itself. We are still great friends but he just doesn't get why his lady-friends all eventually disappear...that darn chair is HEAVY.
Yes, I'm working up to a heart to heart with him. But he's very sensitive about the issue so I must pick the right moment. I just wouldn't want to hurt him for the world.

deleted_user 09/20/2011

sorry...should be "chaste"...not chase

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