Abstinence & Celibacy Support Group
The pressures of sex from peers, the media and culture can be overwhelming, but you are in total control of your body and celibacy is a choice that many are making. Find sanctuary with people who are choosing to abstain without fear of judgment.
Hi everyone,
This is the story.
I'm Greek Orthodox. In my culture, religion is something that most people follow even people my age (27). Even younger people follow it.
I wasn't very religious until about the time when I was 17 and I was feeling quite depressed. I turned to God to help me find relief in some matters. I began praying and I felt so much better not long after.
I'm gay but never thought of being gay as a sin. To be fair, I always thought that being kind and being humanitarian and a good person, regardless whether I have sex or not, should mean that I'm being a good Christian. And I still do.
I still don't believe that if someone is born gay, it's a sin.
I haven't had many partners in the past, because A) I was very hurt by them, B) I'm scared that I will get an STD.
The truth is, in the last 2-4 years, I had anal sex about 4-5 times but most times I just fooled around.
I have been tested a few months ago for HIV and I was negative. But since then, I fooled around with 4 people but every time I do, I regret it instantly. I feel so dirty and not clean.
I have gotten closer to God in the last year. Although if you saw me you wouldn't think I'm religious at first glance, I truly find more comfort when praying. Whenever I masturbate or fool around, I feel so guilty and I find myself saying "why did you do this, if you're going to regret it?".
I've been thinking about celibacy as a way to stay away from all these stress that comes right after ejaculation. I feel like I'm being watched by angels or my dead family and friends as well.
I'm 27 years old, and I went from being a party animal, doing drugs (which I stopped and I'm so glad I did), and fooling around under the influence, to wanting a more peaceful lifestyle, more humble and clean. I moved to Spain for 6 months for detox and to write a book. But I have fooled around with a guy and instantly regretted it.
Can someone please tell me what to do? I really want to be celibate. I don't want to masturbate anymore, nor have sex. But I want to find the way to be strong and say no when thoughts like that come to me.
It's such a struggle. I feel like I'm cheating God when I use my hand. I want to be strong and not do it again. I'm not planning to become a monk or anything, I just want to live a lifestyle that's healthy, clean and good-willed.
Thanks,
http://goodmorals.org/pratney.htm Pratney says that masturbation is ok as a tool to prevent one falling into the temptation to have sex (it's 'a hedge against temptation'), also to be used 'when the body requires (a release of sexual tension).
Now, I don't know everything about homosexuality but thought he Old and New Testaments seem to come down hard on homosexuality; yet I think though God may abhor it (according to the Bible and there's no new revelation that he doesn't); He will always love the person no matter what their sexual orientation. Some priests have written books on how they came to terms with their homosexuality. Google around using search terms: 'priest homosexual book'. Somepeopelthink celibacy is about giving up sexuality but it's not. It's about abstaining from sex for whatever reasons. Some people think it's about abstaining from masturbation as well as sex but that is a personal choice. Masturbation can be a positive part of celibacy in that it helps to prevent the greater problem of having sexual intercourse.
I have been thinking since last year, when the entire "waking up" call has been growing inside me, that I shouldn't act on it. I feel happiest when I know that I'm single. It sounds weird but I feel like I don't want to share my body with anyone anymore. I know masturbation is still a temptation but I'm wondering how to stop that as well. To the point where I even asked my mother today what she thought about voluntary castration. She yelled at me over the phone. (hah).
Since my wake up call, many things have changed, apart from wanting to keep my body clean from sins of the flesh. One being, I used to be scared to even look at the New Testament or hear about prophecies, because I didn't want to read about something that would condemn my then lifestyle. I loved partying and being wanted by many. Suddenly, I feel dirty and I can't get enough of the scriptures and praying.
Please don't think I'm trying to pretend I'm a good Christian, because I'm not. I'm a bag of dirt who needs some advice from someone who's gone through this decision for celibacy, so that I can find peace.
Thank you so much for your support so far!
God Bless.
Though you say you do not wish to be a monk or religious this link still offers some useful advice, I think:
https://www.vocationnetwork.org/en/articles/show/545-8-secrets-to-healthy-celibacy
Other religions and spiritual paths have a lot to offer in the form of truths and knowledge. You don't need to convert to that religion etc. to obtain useful insights. If you feel threatened or unhappy about it then it's not for you. The following link appears to have some practical advice re: practising celibacy or Brahmacharya as it's called in Hinduism.
http://www.dadabhagwan.org/path-to-happiness/self-help/how-to-practice-celibacy/how-can-i-practice-celibacy/
http://www.searchwithin.org/download/celibacy.pdf
Good luck and God bless!
Im so proud of you in your journey and what you are trying to do to get closer to God. I know all sex before marriage is a sin and i know that everyone will sin and work through their sins if they want God to rule their lives. Your temptation and your ability and more importantly willingness/diligence to overcome is what God see. I'm happy for you. Use affirmations in the mornings when you get dressed or do your hair. Look at your self and repeat I am free from the lust of the flesh I surrender to God. My members have no hold of me. I am in full control of my self and expression.
Also, loving someone - wanting to use yourself as a vessel for the spiritual of that individual is pure and doesn't require sex. Practice love with your self and remind yourself how deserving you are to be loved.
I hope that helps. Stay strong you can do all things through Christ !