Abstinence & Celibacy Support Group
The pressures of sex from peers, the media and culture can be overwhelming, but you are in total control of your body and celibacy is a choice that many are making. Find sanctuary with people who are choosing to abstain without fear of judgment.
Does anyone have any advice on staying abstinent when you are in a relationship? I am abstinent and my boyfriend says he can wait for me but it is really hard for him because he is so attracted to me and he has not had sex in years.
I took a boundaries in dating class at my church but those boundaries just do not seem realistic now that I am actually in a relationship. I can't figure out how to let him be intimate with me without stopping everything he does for fear that it might lead to sex or turn him on every time i let him touch me.
Its such the norm to just have sex when you get in a relationship and neither one of us have the money to go out on dates in public places every time we see each other so Im just trying to figure out what we can do when we are alone to show affection without having sex.
I took a boundaries in dating class at my church but those boundaries just do not seem realistic now that I am actually in a relationship. I can't figure out how to let him be intimate with me without stopping everything he does for fear that it might lead to sex or turn him on every time i let him touch me.
Its such the norm to just have sex when you get in a relationship and neither one of us have the money to go out on dates in public places every time we see each other so Im just trying to figure out what we can do when we are alone to show affection without having sex.
Also, did activities through neetup.com and through a Christians single group.
I do not understand the "I am willing to wait but I am having a hard time because I am so attracted to you and I have not had sex in years" comment.
The reason why I do not understand it is because it has no logic. If I respected you, I would not even bring up the fact that I have not had sex in a while, let alone how I am attracted to you because such statements would put pressure on you. The fact that I have not had sex or that I am so attracted to you, would be MY problem not yours.
See what I a getting at here? The boundaries only work if the two people involved have a clear understanding of mutual respect and consideration.
Most people often take affection as a prelude to sex and that is most unfortunate, I can live without sex, in fact I have lived without it for almost 2 decades but I could not live without affection.
Affection means holding hands, hugs, cuddling, being kind to each other, showing consideration, etc. Once you two realize that sex is not a need, perhaps it will make it easier to live without it until you are ready if he still brings up the fact that is soooo hard not have sex, then you may need to see what is more important to him, having sex with you or being in your company until you are ready.
Best of luck,
Wolf