Abstinence & Celibacy Support Group
The pressures of sex from peers, the media and culture can be overwhelming, but you are in total control of your body and celibacy is a choice that many are making. Find sanctuary with people who are choosing to abstain without fear of judgment.
Hi guys..
This is my very post here and I am happy to be able to share my thoughts with you guys, and hopefully get some help..
I am a 24 year old girl (soon to be 25) and I'm a virgin.. in every single way I could be. I never had a boyfriend or kissed anyone..
Back in my teens, surprisingly, it didnt seem to affect me. I was 15-16 and all my friends had boyfriends and I didn't .. but I always thought maybe when I got a bit older things would change..
I am a shy person normally, but after you get to know me and I become more comfortable I am a lot more open and fun. I don't consider myself to be physically pretty, I am kinda ugly lol but I am a good person at heart.. so I don't know what's wrong with me that I still haven't found someone..
At this age people start to talk behind my back, my own grandmother thinks there's a problem with me cause I cannot find a husband.. when I'm out (and this can be supermarket) my aunts try to push me into guys and tell me to go and stop being a virgin..
I got to a point I am not sure anymore who's fault it is.. if it's me that i'm not good enough for guys to meet me, if it's my family pushing me.. all girls who went to school with me are now either married with children or engaged... plus I'm also scared if tomorrow or in a year or two I will meet a guy who is gonna find me weird for still being a virgin... am I weird? I mean even my 14 year old cousin is dating and had a handfull of boys before I did...
This is my very post here and I am happy to be able to share my thoughts with you guys, and hopefully get some help..
I am a 24 year old girl (soon to be 25) and I'm a virgin.. in every single way I could be. I never had a boyfriend or kissed anyone..
Back in my teens, surprisingly, it didnt seem to affect me. I was 15-16 and all my friends had boyfriends and I didn't .. but I always thought maybe when I got a bit older things would change..
I am a shy person normally, but after you get to know me and I become more comfortable I am a lot more open and fun. I don't consider myself to be physically pretty, I am kinda ugly lol but I am a good person at heart.. so I don't know what's wrong with me that I still haven't found someone..
At this age people start to talk behind my back, my own grandmother thinks there's a problem with me cause I cannot find a husband.. when I'm out (and this can be supermarket) my aunts try to push me into guys and tell me to go and stop being a virgin..
I got to a point I am not sure anymore who's fault it is.. if it's me that i'm not good enough for guys to meet me, if it's my family pushing me.. all girls who went to school with me are now either married with children or engaged... plus I'm also scared if tomorrow or in a year or two I will meet a guy who is gonna find me weird for still being a virgin... am I weird? I mean even my 14 year old cousin is dating and had a handfull of boys before I did...
I will start by asking you why on Earth you'd say that you are "kind of ugly", that is not a healthy way to think of yourself whatsoever. Furthermore those are the types of thoughts that actually keep you from finding anyone.
Beauty is a relative thing, believe me when I tell you that most of the folks that are considered gorgeous by today's shallow standards are actually not that attractive when you get to know them. So it is always best to cultivate values than to think of oneself in shallow terms.
Another thing I wanted to touch upon is this, there is nothing wrong with you, or that you are somehow defective because you've never kissed a boy or been with one. In fact, I tend to think of it as admirable as it is a rare quality.
Life should be about contributing to others in a healthy manner, making a difference not finding a husband. That your family and friends are making cracks at you, let them, it only means something when you give it meaning.
If a guy you meet thinks of you as weird because you are a virgin, turn around and keep going. End of story. Learn to love and appreciate yourself instead.
Let me put it to you this way, yes your 14 year old cousin is dating and has had a handful of boys already but watch, by the time she is your age, her self esteem will have sunk after the realization that maybe she would have been better off staying true to her values instead of giving in to stupid societal pressure.
I've been celibate since 1998 and I've had my share of ribbing and jokes made at my expense but it does not change my resolve because I am not interested on making other's happy but making myself happy and what makes me happy is being alone.
After you learn to love and appreciate yourself, you'll be able to decide who is worthy of being your husband and you'll be sure to send the posers on their merry way if they fail to treat you with the respect you so deserve.
Wolf
First time should be special. Throwing yourself at anyone, I don't think it'd make you happy in the end. How is it supposed to mean anything if you're just trying to get it over with. I don't think it's even necessary.
Where I live nobody would really care if you were a virgin or not, for example.
I doubt you're ugly, but you're probably different from those around you. It doesn't mean there's anything wrong.