Abandonment Community Group
At one time or annother, we are all faced with the pain of abandonment. Whether the person(s) who walked out on you was a parent, partner or friend, it hurts. This is a place of friendship and support.
Hi all. I just joined the group today. I had someone walk out of my life and I am still dealing with it on a daily basis even though it happened a year ago. I have been trying to figure out why exactly and have done some probing into my childhood. Two days ago I found out that my father would put me out in the car alone for hours when I started crying as a child. I also found out that he didn't want me. He thought that my mom tricked him and didn't take her birth control. I was 6 when my parents divorced. Dad's fight over my custody was a control issue and not necessarily because my life would be better with him. When my dad and I lived alone together, he left me a home alone a lot because he was working 60-80 hours a week. My dad remarried and I removed myself emotionally from my new family and became a loner. At 18 I was kicked out of the house and now my parents are more like friends to me than family. I have never been in a relationship that has lasted longer than 6 months, even though it is what my heart yearns for more than anything in the world. I abandon friends and feel horrible about it, but sometimes I just feel cold inside and don't feel comfortable with intimacy
I thought that I was over my childhood, but found out when my girlfriend left that it still affects me profoundly. I am 37 years old. i recommend to anyone that if you feel that this is an issue with you, get help to fix it now before it has significant impact on your life.
I thought that I was over my childhood, but found out when my girlfriend left that it still affects me profoundly. I am 37 years old. i recommend to anyone that if you feel that this is an issue with you, get help to fix it now before it has significant impact on your life.
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My 6mo twin DD's are EBF and just started rice cereal on the first. Everything has been going fine except this morning one of them had a diaper rash (lots of redness around her anus). I read this as one of the signs of an allergy. BUT I did just buy a different brand diaper yesterday (which they have used randomly before w/no issues). Do you think its the cereal or the diaper? Im ready to start...
Joyce Meyer has a book called Battle field of the mind..I think it would help you out a lot..I've recommended it to several people who has said it helped them.. welcome to the group
Tammy
I want to get over it NOW!!!!! Wish I could help you, but I'm in worse condition than you, me thinks. I'm doing lots of 'different' things but the pain arises at the most inopportune times!
DJ your childhod really got me. My childhood was a struggle from the time my parents divorced. They faught over me for months until one fight almost resulted in my death. And from my fathers guilt he left me with my mother. I was lucky to see him once a year after that. He would call and tell me he was coming to get me and never show. I remember running into my room and packing my bag to only sit there for hours on end staring out the window... Never realized till today how much control those feeling had over me still today.
There are very few books and seminars on abandonment. The bottom line is that people like us who were abandoned end us abandoning ourselves. Which means we don't love or care for ourselves. We can be nice to others, but brutal on ourselves.
Romantic relationships, although we crave for them deeply, will not be healthy or successful until our relationship to ourselves becomes healthy. What does that mean? It means being able to look at the hurting part of ourselves and not run away and hide. I have trouble with that everyday and it's doubly hard when you have commitments at work and to a family.
I am not a psychotherapist but just mortal human being trying to make sense if it all. Anything that reconnects your conscious adult self to your :inner child" who's deeply been hurt over and over again is healing. If you are interested, I can post some of those therapies and activities next time.
Best,
Devoir