For me I am the most important person in the room. If my butt isn't in the room my butt isn't anywhere. If I'm not in the room I can't hear the newcomer remind me of what it was like and I'm not there to reach out to them. I'm not there to let them know they don't have to live the way they been living and that they don't have to drink for the rest of thier life one day at a time.

Everyone at a meeting has equal importance as far as I am concerned. I hate this 'the newcomer is the most important person in the room' stuff because we are already faced with self-centredness and selfishness - the LAST thing we need to do is to feed that! Also, what are we saying when there is someone newer? That they are no longer important? We may not say it but I know many people feel it
and have used relapse as a constant way to keep being 'the important newcomer.'

Play it by ear. We are not stupid, we can see if the newcomer is shy or bristling with antagonism. Some need a little pep talk and attention some need to be told to sit down and shut up.

The ego-maniac doesn't really need to hear he is the VIP in the room imho.

All newcomers do need to hear a certain amount of war stories and the nature of the illness though - from several people - that's what i think anyway.

I always like what Cliff Bishop says with regards to non newcomers sitting in.needing meetings - "for every recovered alcoholic with their fat arse sat down in a meeting there are 20 out there suffering and don't even know what is wrong with them". That's not to say that recovered alkies shouldn;t go to meetings, but looking at ones motivation for being there is definitely on the cards, wouldn't you say?

So in that vain, the most important person is the guy sat out there devoid of life, desperate in his cups and doesn't even know there is a meeting to go to.

Kate, Good stuff my friend.
Your seeking and growing everyday my friend.
For those of you that don't know her its reply #7.

The newcomer is just that....NEW...and therefore knows nothing. Now if he/she is the most important person in the room, then we are all fucked cause they know nothing!

Without the oldtimers (sponsors) there is no newcomer. I have been to meetings where there are tons of newcomers. Needless to say the meeting sucked. I came in with what they have. They don't know jack! Most newcomers need to take the cotton out of their ears and put it in their mouths.

Newcomers are anyone who has not worked a 5th step. Therefore, someone with 20 years sober could be still dead spiritually. So, the newcomer is what gives us old timers the opportunity to be instruments for God.

Guru

"the still suffering alcoholic" doesn't matter their sobriety range

I agree with bot.
Simply doesn't matter

I have been in recovery long enough to come to terms with the fact that if a meeting "sucks" to me, I best look at my expectations, and my self-centredness.

We are all important. All of us.
Recovery, sponsors, meetings, steps, life... is all what "we" choose to make it.
It is not only our right, but also, our responsibility.

Peace,

Wendy

After now reading these posts and giving this more thought and in discussion with my sponsor I aggree with those that believe that no one is more important than anyone else. Everyone in the room has a role to play whether that be to collect the ash tray, wash the dishes, 12 step the newcommer or the newcommer sitting there in a daze. Each and everyone has there role and without people fulfilling these roles there would be no unity and no AA.

It is important that I help the newcommer and 12 step work should come first (the dishes can wait) but IMHO that does not make the newcommer the most important person.

Thankyou to all who responded it is through open and mature debate that I learn and hopefully others can look at their truths as well.

RGDS G8

In Michigan most of the meetings are "Table Meetings" where there is at least 1 "First Step" table for new comers and at least 1 "Big Book" table for those who take the program seriously.

This generally works out for both old and new comers. Except where the "Big Book" table sits empty.

Maybe I am being naive but why does anyone have to be considered more important than anyone else?

YOu can only keep what you have, by giving it away. Yea, welcome to the newcomer or the people that relapse. thanx for the topic. God bless...

The person weather it is a newcommer,a Old Timmer,The one who Hurts,and does'nt Know how to Feel!! with everyday LIVING!! The ones that only have a DRINK in thought because of lack of Coping with REALITY!!!! The ones who Honestly reach out for Help,in there Pain!!!!! Those to me are the Most IMPORTANT People in the Room!!!

The person weather it is a newcommer,a Old Timmer,The one who Hurts,and does'nt Know how to Feel!! with everyday LIVING!! The ones that only have a DRINK in thought because of lack of Coping with REALITY!!!! The ones who Honestly reach out for Help,in there Pain!!!!! Those to me are the Most IMPORTANT People in the Room!!!