aa Spoken Here Community Group
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The Swimming Pool
My journey to long term, quality sobriety in AA reminds me of playing around in a swimming pool. For years, I sat on the edge of the pool at the shallow end, kicking my legs in the water, splashing water at the other people in the pool. I enjoyed being around the fellowship and playing with my friends in the pool. But whenever the water got cold, and I got uncomfortable, I left the edge of the pool and wandered off, isolating, to do my own thing. And that usually meant trouble. Inevitably, I would be drawn back to pool side, where everyone was having a good time and enjoying life. Again, I would play and splash, but not really get in the water to experience the full effect of the swimming pool.
Eventually, something happened. I donât quite know what it was. Maybe I was tired of just being a hanger-on. Maybe I realized that the people in the pool where really have a good time, and seemed to be happy. Maybe I wanted what they had.
So I decided I would do whatever necessary to join the people in the pool. I decided I would have to climb to the hi-dive board, face my fears and jump in the pool. Climbing up the ladder to the hi-dive was very difficult. I was scared, I didnât like being so far up. I wanted to turn around, abandon my efforts, and give up. But something inside me kept pushing me to take one rung after another â willingness, maybe. Finally, I was on the diving board. Now I was really scared. I was so far up. The pool was so far down there. Again, something urged me to walk to the end of the board.
I was poised at the end of the diving board â at the jumping off place. Pushing my fears down, I turned to God, said a prayer that I would survive this, and literally took a leap of faith. I leapt off the end of the board. One big olâ cannonball splash later, and I was completely and totally soaking wet, in the deep end.
Yes, the water was cold, but I survived. Yes, the water was deep, but I didnât drown. I was completely immersed in water. Others in the pool turned to look at me and cheered. They told me how happy they were that I had joined them in the water.
As I stayed in the water, it didnât seem as cold as before. I was getting used to buoying up and down with the water. I was getting comfortable.
A smile came across my face as I realized I was were I wanted to be. I was eventually taught how to swim the great lengths of the pool. I learned from others how to perform beautiful dives off that once scary diving board. And lo and behold, with time, it was I who taught other newcomers how to swim and how to dive.
This is how I live my life in AA. I am completely and totally soaking wet with sobriety (please pardon the pun, not intended). I participate fully in my recovery. Thatâs the only way I know how to do it. I had to get in the water.
My journey to long term, quality sobriety in AA reminds me of playing around in a swimming pool. For years, I sat on the edge of the pool at the shallow end, kicking my legs in the water, splashing water at the other people in the pool. I enjoyed being around the fellowship and playing with my friends in the pool. But whenever the water got cold, and I got uncomfortable, I left the edge of the pool and wandered off, isolating, to do my own thing. And that usually meant trouble. Inevitably, I would be drawn back to pool side, where everyone was having a good time and enjoying life. Again, I would play and splash, but not really get in the water to experience the full effect of the swimming pool.
Eventually, something happened. I donât quite know what it was. Maybe I was tired of just being a hanger-on. Maybe I realized that the people in the pool where really have a good time, and seemed to be happy. Maybe I wanted what they had.
So I decided I would do whatever necessary to join the people in the pool. I decided I would have to climb to the hi-dive board, face my fears and jump in the pool. Climbing up the ladder to the hi-dive was very difficult. I was scared, I didnât like being so far up. I wanted to turn around, abandon my efforts, and give up. But something inside me kept pushing me to take one rung after another â willingness, maybe. Finally, I was on the diving board. Now I was really scared. I was so far up. The pool was so far down there. Again, something urged me to walk to the end of the board.
I was poised at the end of the diving board â at the jumping off place. Pushing my fears down, I turned to God, said a prayer that I would survive this, and literally took a leap of faith. I leapt off the end of the board. One big olâ cannonball splash later, and I was completely and totally soaking wet, in the deep end.
Yes, the water was cold, but I survived. Yes, the water was deep, but I didnât drown. I was completely immersed in water. Others in the pool turned to look at me and cheered. They told me how happy they were that I had joined them in the water.
As I stayed in the water, it didnât seem as cold as before. I was getting used to buoying up and down with the water. I was getting comfortable.
A smile came across my face as I realized I was were I wanted to be. I was eventually taught how to swim the great lengths of the pool. I learned from others how to perform beautiful dives off that once scary diving board. And lo and behold, with time, it was I who taught other newcomers how to swim and how to dive.
This is how I live my life in AA. I am completely and totally soaking wet with sobriety (please pardon the pun, not intended). I participate fully in my recovery. Thatâs the only way I know how to do it. I had to get in the water.
deleted_user
Thats a great way to put it, thank you for that, i can really use that.
deleted_user
Nice story Miss Scarlet
deleted_user
Yes, I understand your analogy completely. I remember my sponsor saying to me when I first started the Steps that I was still hanging onto the side of pool and all I had to do was just let go and swim.
deleted_user
So you were the one who cannonballed next to me and got me all wet! lol I guess that's how the fellowship works, because now that I'm wet, I don't mind swimming out to that ladder, too. Quid pro quo.
nickyj18022002
Nice analogy. People used to say to me, come on in the water's lovely. I didnt know what they meant at the time but now I am "wet" too and I understand. I was so used to being apart from that i didnt know what people meant when they invited me to be part of. I don't know if I am doing beautiful dives yet but I have definitely taken my water wings off and trust that I will float!
Yard_Eggs
For the newbies here.
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