I got a sponsor with a brain and knew what she was doing, had i had to write a life stroy i would have run a mile and never have come back

Hey Chris - like the story!

Hey Son, this is why I am so concerned about people being asked to write their life story. There is someone at my home group who is new and her sponsor has asked her to write a life story - now she is saying that it is bringing up really painful stuff - much more of it and she will be drunk and gone! And after all our hard work 12 stepping her as well!!

I like to keep step one simple, and the rest of the steps too for that matter.I have seen a lot of people complicate their recovery, It's supposed to be simple.

For me read the Dr's Opinion then Bill's story, there is a solution and more about alcoholism with the sponsee. Do this over a couple of sittings, whilst going through it share my experience and ask when they too had this happen to them, ie get them to share their experience. If necessary guide them to understanding.

One of the most spiritual moments in AA for me is to see someone absolutely gutted by the understanding that they are powerless and their life is unmanageable. To see someone come to this understanding is an experience that still humbles me to this day. I fear this would be lost if the person wrote their life story. Writing it down does not equate to understanding.

G8

Another thought about writing when AA was founded literacy skills would not be the level they are at today, so expecting people to write for lots back there and still many now to be excluded from this program. This is a program for all.

I have done the writing for some during their 4th step and this has the benefit of getting it down on paper but also as we do the 4th we are also doing the 5th at the same time.

G8

Huw....'pot kettle' :)

Love your replies G8. I too appreciate that moment of watching someone realise the hopelessness of their condition. I know when they have reached that point there is a good chance they will accept the solution on offer. Every time I go through that process I remember what it feels like to be in that hopeless state and reinforce my gratitude for the freedom I have been given.

M8 - yep I always point fingers based on solid personal experience of long-windedness and prevarication :)

Big love,
Huw

I agree with the sentiment of your post, Nickyj and reading subsequent posts I agree that for a newcomer to sit down and write a lengthy life story is unproductive at best and potentially damaging at worst.

What I invite sponsees to do is to look at the three parts of Step 1: 1) We admitted 2) That we were powerless over alcohol 3) And our lives had become unmanageable. I invite my sponsees to do a little writing (no more that a single side of A4!) to look at what these parts mean and where is the evidence for each of them (note: evidence, not reasons!). We'll then sit down together and discuss it. I find this helps focus the sponsee to look at the fine mess that they got themselves into through alcohol, rather than the excuses! (i.e. acceptance of responsibility without blame, rather than making excuses).

It's good because if they start writing things like "I drank because my Father used to beat me", I can challenge that by saying, "You need to write evidence, not reasons! Reasons = rationalisation and denial".

I then invite sponsees to keep what they have written so that they can refer to it each time that they feel that they might be able to drink again - I suggest that they might like to pin it up somewhere to have a look at it.

I find it can also help the sponsee if I explain the difference between acceptance and blame, in the first part of the step.

Addendum - before anybody pulls me up on the wording of Step 1, the "and" should be a "that" and the "that" shouldn't be there in what I've written!

When I was in treatment they tried to keep us quiet and occupied by giving us loads of written assignments. The rest of it was like a boot camp for naughty kids. I sort of enjoyed the experience of treatment because it shut me off from the world for six weeks and the people I was thrown in with were great fun and I am still in touch with most of them.

It didn't do much for my sobriety though as I was drinking again within ten days. After lengthy written pieces on powerlessness and such, the fact is we were not using the Big Book and didn't have sponsors!

Follow the book precisely and don't give much thought to anyone else's version and you will find it works!

It did for me and countless others.

i wrote a shortened version of my life story for my step one,

by answering some very awkward question my sponser handed me,

i had to go through my life to work out what happened and when, cause id lost track of lots of years.

I did it, and it was very helpful for me. It wasn't a life story, but instead was an exercise in writing down every instance I could remember when I was powerless over alcohol, and my life was unmanageable.

Writing comes easily and naturally to me, so it didn't present an obstacle to starting the steps. Since I tend to be a "thinking" type, verbal and abstract -- a member of the "debating society" -- I'm skilled at twisting facts and words into logical pretzels that mean whatever is convenient for me to believe. I was in denial of course, looking for a loophole or shortcut, trying to fake my way through step one.

Cataloguing the evidence broke down my resistance to facing the facts squarely rather than selectively. For me, it was a crucial part of working step one.

Mike you old goat!!! That was you????

I myself had to write why My Life was Unmanageable and what Alcohol did to make it that way!