aa Spoken Here Community Group
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I have listened over and over again to people in meetings sharing a definition of insanity as "repeating the same behaviour over and over again expecting a different result".
I understand the point exactly. It was insane for me to drink for so many years and think that, though I had never had control before, I would somehow have it this time. However, I heard it in a meeting this week and suddenly it hit me in a totally different way. For the last few years that I was drinking I didnt expect a different result. I was repeating the same behaviour over and over again knowing exactly what the result would be - I would not be able to reliably control my drinking.
That too is complete insanity. That I would drink knowing of the likely disastrous consequences but nevertheless unable to mount a mental defence.
The memory and consequences of past drunks were not enough to stop me drinking (unable to bring into memory with sufficient force....). The expectation and fear of future horrors were not enough to stop me drinking.
This is why step 2 "Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity" offered the hope I needed - a solution.
Without a solution to the insanity of the first drink I have no hope of staying sober. It doesn't matter if I really want to stay sober, or if I am determined to stay sober, or if I make a choice to stay sober - on my own resources I will never be able to achieve it. My only hope is to be restored to sanity and for that I need something other than my own power.
Steps 3 - 9 gives me a program to achieve that and tucked away at the bottom of page 84 is the miracle that I experienced "For by this time sanity will have returned". Wow!!
When I first saw the implication of insanity in Step 2 I was horrified. I was insulted that I should be considered insane. I was then distracted by the idea that the insanity meant the insane things that i did whilst drunk. Finally when I understood that it referred to the insanity that lead to the first drink (I got this from looking at my experience in the light of the illustrations in "More About Alcoholism") I was able to see the hope offered in step 2 and begin my journey from the problem to the solution.
I understand the point exactly. It was insane for me to drink for so many years and think that, though I had never had control before, I would somehow have it this time. However, I heard it in a meeting this week and suddenly it hit me in a totally different way. For the last few years that I was drinking I didnt expect a different result. I was repeating the same behaviour over and over again knowing exactly what the result would be - I would not be able to reliably control my drinking.
That too is complete insanity. That I would drink knowing of the likely disastrous consequences but nevertheless unable to mount a mental defence.
The memory and consequences of past drunks were not enough to stop me drinking (unable to bring into memory with sufficient force....). The expectation and fear of future horrors were not enough to stop me drinking.
This is why step 2 "Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity" offered the hope I needed - a solution.
Without a solution to the insanity of the first drink I have no hope of staying sober. It doesn't matter if I really want to stay sober, or if I am determined to stay sober, or if I make a choice to stay sober - on my own resources I will never be able to achieve it. My only hope is to be restored to sanity and for that I need something other than my own power.
Steps 3 - 9 gives me a program to achieve that and tucked away at the bottom of page 84 is the miracle that I experienced "For by this time sanity will have returned". Wow!!
When I first saw the implication of insanity in Step 2 I was horrified. I was insulted that I should be considered insane. I was then distracted by the idea that the insanity meant the insane things that i did whilst drunk. Finally when I understood that it referred to the insanity that lead to the first drink (I got this from looking at my experience in the light of the illustrations in "More About Alcoholism") I was able to see the hope offered in step 2 and begin my journey from the problem to the solution.
Do tell. What is the solution to the insanity of the first drink?
Guru
Reconciliation and spiritual transformation.
You the man lee....
The word transformation is found in the Big Book. A word search reveals a ton of revelations. Metamorphosis to be one. Awesome word.
Thanks for nailing it.
Guru
>> or if I am determined to stay sober,
>> or if I make a choice to stay sober -
>> on my own resources I will never be able to achieve it.
If it were not so sad, I would almost get a kick out of folks saying they somehow "have a choice today" ... and when they end up drinking again, they next say they even "chose" to do that! However, that is all delusion and just not our deal ...
"The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink ..." (page 24)
"[But now, we] have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us." (page 85)
Choice doesn't come into it for me. If I were relying on staying sober by making a choice not to drink I would be drunk right now!