This is always a tricky one - unless I am there I can't really make much comment.

What was the meeting secretary doing? It would be his/her job to keep the meeting on track.

There are a cluster of groups in my area know as "The Dignitaries" who are famous for cross-sharing. They will interrupt you in the middle of your share and take your inventory like Joe McCarthy. They pretty much leave me alone because I can Bloviate better than any 10 of em... LOL!

They will also tell you to get a sponsor before you leave or "Don't come back without one". Sometimes they will lock the doors 2 seconds after the meeting starts. If anyone dares show up late they will shout "Hello Slacker!" in unison. They have their own version of the preamble and their meetings last at least 90 minutes.

At first I thought they were mean spirited but after watching them for a few meetings, I came to realize that they will do more 12th step work and newcomer assistance than any other group in the area. They bail people out of jail, pay for motel rooms, find each other jobs and even let sponce's live in their homes.
They also get together for camping trips, pick-nicks and travel in a group to other Dignitary meetings sometimes over an hour away. Overall, I would say they do more good than harm.


http://hindsfoot.org/ndigsym.html

Thanks for the feed back you two Gailly Regarding the meeting secretary This particular meeting only has whoever is chairing the meeting I can only recall one occasion were he intervened to warn a guy who was drunk about his behaviour This meeting is near a detox unit and halfway house so does get some very raw not quite sober very newly sober types along with those of us who have a few years to long term sober.So i guess its quite a difficult meeting to chair I'm not taking anyone's inventory here just felt a bit sorry for the guy who has yet to find sobriety
Oneintwenty The Dignitairies meeting sounds interesting to say the least I have never been at a meeting were someone drectly interupts and dont think, well I know it would not be allowed in any meetings I attend but the paradox of there behaviour is also interesting there above average level of helping other alcoholics They seem to have a clear vision of there AA programme

The phrase "For me " helps. "For me it's nothing to do with age"

After attending meetings in many communiti9es, it appears to me as if there are geographical trends. The Akron and Cleveland area meetings I have attened seem to me to be generally more structured than other areas, except Florida. Each meeting in each city also has a different feel, a bit like bars once did for me.

Each group is autonomous. I don't remember seeing anything about cross-talk or cross sharing in any conference approved literature. The Big Book says only that the book shares our experience strength and hope in a general way. So each group can decide whether to permit cross sharing or not. It is a group conscience decision to allow or not. Same way as making it a meeting of only those who have a desire to stop drinking, or with sharing about the use/misuse of meds, about addictions to substances other than alcohol.

IMHO only if the group has made a a conscious decision can a chairperson or secretary intervene. That means of course that the group or meeting has selected someone familiar with the groups history. Many successful meetings include such positions in the opening statements. Of course doing that means that only those who arrive on time and pay attention hear the message.

I may have misunderstood but personally I think some people can be a bit rude cross sharing,like me me me.I know it may not always be that way.That man probably really needed to share and should have been given the dignity and respect to do that.Some people talk as they think,maybe like him.

We have never condoned cross talk but if you have a topic to talk about I guess all that goes out the window. I would rather wait until after a meeting to discuss whatever.Give the guy a chance to say "no" I don't want to hear it as opposed to a captive reciepient of anothers omnipotence.

The cross-sharer seems like a bully, plain and simple. It's funny, that type of person stopped bullying me when I grew some balls and learned to stand up for myself against them. When I was drinking, I was one of the most vicious, violent, aggressive, nasty people you could ever meet. When I had no drink inside me, I wouldn't say boo to a goose. Today I've learned how to be assertive without intimidating and/or threatening people with extreme violence. It works a treat! Funny thing that ... ;o)

>>> Whenever I get upset with processes whether in the rooms or not, the issue is mine, no one else s. This one issue takes time for sure to GET. <<<

"It is a spiritual axiom that every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us. If somebody hurts us and we are sore, we are in the wrong also. But are there no exceptions to this rule? What about "justifiable" anger? If somebody cheats us, aren't we entitled to be mad? Can't we be properly angry with self-righteous folk? For us of A.A. these are dangerous exceptions. We have found that justified anger ought to be left to those better qualified to handle it."
(12&12 page 90)

F scott peck not really a favorite of mine but he said "Life ain't fair" I'll add ,especially if I'm seek favor and comfort in really old ideas that I have not looked at yet. Magical thinking destroyed my imagination using and after getting sober .

I had a sponsor ,Wonderful man, Bill G' ,say to me once "Don't swim with your eyes Closed " " Pay attention " blew my mind The identification with it did.

Pretty sure it had to do with the dynamics of The AA fellowship, I was attending and my lack of understanding the personalities and different lengths of Understanding of recovery etiquette!! I thought I possessed opposed to others interpretations:)
Billy

OneInTwenty - you listed there a bit in the 12x12 that doesn't fit well with my experience. Sure, when I was drinking I used to physically attack people and sometimes try to hack at them with knives, and I'm sure they're glad I'm sober (I know I am!). But on the other hand if I am always looking at me to see what the problem is, then I run the risk of taking on the responsibility of someone else's anger. Today I've learned to express my anger in an assertive way and not let it consume me. Better out than in, I say! (Only without the screaming and the running around and the hacking with the knives ...). Specifically, I've learned to have boundaries today. If someone throws a hissy-fit at me from outside my boundary, I will let it wash over me, just walk away. If someone stomps all over my boundaries, however, then I will definitely react and tell them that they're out of order. It's knowing where to put the boundaries that's the tricky bit though! In my experience, that comes from ... well, experience! I will also stand up for weak and vulnerable members of the fellowship who get bullied. I see that as being part of doing what it says in the pledge.

"And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation -- some fact of my life -- unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. "
(page 417)

Do you know who I am? ;o)

What you think of me is none of my business.
What I think of you is none of my business.
What I think of me is none of my business.

All expectations are seeds for resentment.

I tell you, do you know who I am?! I am a bad, invisible motherfucker! Kiss my bad self, yo! Chamone!