You actually did this, or is this a reading you found?

Was this while you were still drinking or did this occur while in sobriety?

Did you read Step 8 and 9 or speak with your sponsor before trying to make amends?

These aren't amends.

Its a reading but a bit confused does it matter?
This is rude but it seems your have the answers for everything. This is the one & only time I will probably respond to you.
BUT
To answer your question yes I did 8&9 as are literature says.

I must say I sure cant Comprehend the need for fault finding after i was sober for a number of years. i always heard it was going to be lower self that would get me loaded again . Or i would become so separated from the human race through my avoidance's of anything but what came to my mind that my choices could only be retaliation which was usually directed at myself while those closest to me could only think WTF Ah!! the spiritual slant so vital to find out what isn't.....
Billy

Missed this. I so relate. There are amends I made as I was told I needed to. But some years later did not have any real feeling of being sorry attached to them. Not at that time realizing how much of what I did really hurt a person, or that in my heart I was truly sorry. It takes me a week or so to get over these when they pop up. It is like a whole new awareness and part of my recovery and again it is a blessing ti still see that I can change and my eyes are still open. Maybe at the time I just could not handle the entire truth, and when it was time I was ready.

Thank you, still touches my heart on a few things i finally realized how the other person must have felt. And I was able to go back and make amends the right way from my heart.

Amends are not supposed to make ME feel better. They are supposed to make the other person feel better.
The best amends are actually a form of self-mortification:

"It is harder to go to an enemy than to a friend, but we find it much more beneficial to us."
(page 770)

From my exp. the amends made me fell better because by the 9th & doing the step & taking responsibility how could it not? It's what I call growth. As far as making the person feel better that does not always happen because what ever it is is not accepted. It goes back to cleaning my side of the street.

That is intially true Ointwenty, but when your can see from the heart where you harmed someone that is a good thing even years later.

Another thing about amends they serve no purpose if you do them again.
I also find when I do the right thing, I get back double, and its not double trouble today...!

Hugs Tink

Living Amends are the hardest to make......Because I must be ever vigilant to live differently. I don't want to make the same mistakes that I have in the past though it is a process that will continue for my lifetime.

And making them sucks...LOL

We make amends because they are owed, this is a spiritual act. If the person to whom we are making amends benefits, that is wonderful; if I feel better because I made them, that is a lucky coincidence.

If I do not have regret or repentance at the heart of an amend, it serves no purpose and may cause further harm to the person I am making amends to.

I have also found that sometimes I have realised my part in something and I rush off to make an amend when the person I hurt is not in a place to receive it. Sometimes, in order to make a true amend I might have to hold fire for a while and allow them the time to be ready to receive it. (This is spot-check stuff really). It doesn't mean that I can't deal with it but sometimes my eagerness is to do with salving my conscience rather than feeling it is the right thing to do and then doing it.

For me after making my amends is where and its not unique to me, that the promise began to come true in my life. So I do feel it was for me also.

I do my best and leave the results to God. I had a lady spat on me as a result of a amends. I am powerless over thier reaction. Now to make amends when its obvious you will harm others is a different thing. Example you sleep with a friends spouse, you do not tell the spouse. Common sense avails.
It is human nature to feel scared doing amends, relieved after even good about it. The reason I did my amends is I did not want to drink anymore. The awakening I got as result of doing them, I do consider part of the miracle of recovery, and learning the meaning of what it did to those people in my head of course but when my heart felt it, again it was another layer removed and more revealed. For me

>> We make amends because they are owed, this is a spiritual act...if I feel better because I made them, that is a lucky coincidence."

Sounds like Karma and Dharma to me.

I never believed in Karma or Dharma before I started working the steps but now I see that I am essentially in control of my own feelings.

When I practice spiritual principles such as humility and benevolence good feelings somehow come back to me in the form of serenity and joy.

Hey oneintwenty - nail hit perfectly on head!!

The amends I made were to repair damage I had done. I don't ever expect to be done, because I don't know how much damage I did to some people, and I am sure more may come to my attention. I have also hurt people since I have been sober, and again, I have to the best of my ability, repair the damage.

While Bill W. wrote that sometimes a letter might suffice, to me, it is not sufficient all the time. An amend must include action, not just the Sorry word. For instance, if someone cheated the IRS, I would not sign a letter to them saying only. "Sorry, I cheated on you". I RS is going to expect some action in the form of a payment.

I agree with checking out an amend with a sponsor or other trusted advisor before doing it. Both the nature and the extent of the amend can vary from case to case.

Hi Cruary that you? How cute. When my sponsor did my 5th step with me, she took notes. And eventually burned them with me, but the reason we both made up a amends list. She knew I would leave some out, and/or not quite understand some that were needed. I also do the same for my girls and we go over each one before they take the 9th step, keep it honest and thorough. I also agree the action is part of amends and that half measures do not work where it is needed. Brutal Honesty never, Rigorous Honesty always.

Good share thank you