Assuming that the detox centre simply offers a detox and little else, I would explain how we understand alcoholism so that he can diagnose himself. Trouble is, we sometimes assume that if someone needs a detox they must be alcoholic, that isn't the case and so he needs to be able to diagnose himself just as any other person to who we are trying to carry the message. If he says that believes that on thta basis, he does have alcoholism, then I simply share the solution that we have found.

When he gets out, he know where to come if he wants to stay stopped!

We need to have a message that carries depth and weight so that he will come to us when he gets out - he needs hope and we have that to offer in spades.

gjm,

I think your message was right on time. When barely sober, someone 12th stepped me and told me I didn't have to drink anymore if I didn't want to! What an epiphany!! God put you in his life to tell him just what you told him. The message had to be simple for me at the beginning or I would have run for cover..

I used to work as a cook and nurse's aid in a detox, and what you did there might have been perfect for that man in that setting in his condition at that time. If he was very much younger than you, he now knows some older guy cared enough to look up at him and say anything to him at all. If he was your own age or even older, he now knows someone like himself has not judged and condemned him for not "measuring up" in life overall.

Over the time I worked in one of those places, I saw people "come through" there time after time after time without anyone "from the outside" ever saying much of anything to them at all ... and that only helps drive home the feeling of being a "loser" who is cared about by just about nobody.

If you ever happen to see that same man back in there again, and unless he looks really bad at the time, approach him with a heart-warming smile (or with a tear in your eye, if that is your style) and let him know you are really glad to see he survived ... then quietly share with him how happy you have become about your own survival.

Blessings to you ...

Good stuff Lee, It is so true I spent every Wednesday night for 3 years chairing a BB meeting I met some very engaging people there and it is very humbling to realize how hard it can be to accept help other than just the drying out Or just a hot meal and a bed. It was the biggest part of my week at the time. Be right on the firing line if you can and share this with a fellow AAer. It is what we Do
Billy

GW, I did also mention to the man he may never have to drink again if he so chooses.

serenity, I appreciate your opinion but maybe I should have explained myself better. Been doing this for awhile and the men and woman that end up here are alcoholic most been there before and come here from the hospital ER and come off the street. My question was what was anyone's experience with 12 steps calls if and when you every participated in giving away what was freely given to us.
Also I don't assume anything when dealing with peoples lives that has a fatal disease that kills on a daily basis.

Always take someone with you. It can get hairy at times. Alcoholics in their bottles can get angry in heartbeat, don't get to close, I got hit in stomach once. If a woman calls its wise that a woman should go and likewise with a man "trust on this one"
I' ve had to call the police and Ambulance etc.. My friend Idella went on a12 step call to a very seedy motel. They talked to man for a hour, he did not want to go the detox they left. A year later a man who had just picked up a 1yr. coin came up to her and thanked her for 12 stepping him , apparently he was under the bed at the flee bag motel and they convinced him. True story.........

empty

So, no one else has been a call? I thought for sure there would be some.
There is a difference between taking action and doing so then just give a opinion on how to do it.

Peace

empty

Hi gjm, I step the young soldiers and sailors, so I've got some MPs with me lol. But it's pretty much like you said, keep the message simple to start and let them know they are not alone and there are people who care.
There is a way out of their hell. I also carry a packet of tissues tucked away. The one thing I'm concerned about is their state of mind when I leave them and that there is someone around. I've known too many service personnel who decided to check out early.

empty

I hear ya CM.This deal of giving it away to keep it, I use to hear early on but I could not understand what that meant.

Today I do.

The guy I was talking about got approved to be in the Salvation Army program last night Will see what happens.

Hey gjm,

I do loads of 12 step calls. Mainly with people that have called up the AA helpline. Dont get to go into Detox's in our area as there aren't any.

I 12 step much as it says in the big book. Talk to people about my experience of active alcoholism and let them talk about their's. Introduce them to the way that AA sees alcoholism and help them relate that to their own experience. Introduce them to the fact that there is a solution that works and it is available to them. Tell them about AA meetings and what happens there and arrange to take them to one.

I hope that when I leave someone after doing this they have a much better idea of the nature of their condition and their powerlessness. They know that they have met at least two people who understand them and have found a way to stay sober and they know that there are many more people like that who they will meet at meetings. They also have no doubt that there is a solution to their problem that works and it is available to them should they want it.

Nicky, Glad to hear it, pretty awesome is it not. I hear ya about not having detox centers. We have very few. I belong to a group and am on the board that brings awareness and educated about the disease in my area. Just got funding for one but its been a long road to get that. Like anything else there is a lot of politics but am wiling to go to any lengths to do what needs to be done.

Keep up the good work, its all about giving away that was freely given to us.

>> Alcoholics in their bottles can get angry in heartbeat, don't get to close ...

Yes, so true!

"Leon" was an elderly and long-term drinker who had taken a couple of bottles of wine and a blanket and had crawled up under a bridge to die. Somebody who had happened to see him go under there had come to the detox to ask whether we might go get him. We knew Leon fairly well, and he could be really cranky!

Two of us got into my old truck and drove to the bridge, and Leon immediately began cussing us and telling us to get away so he could die just as soon as he realized he was about to be "rescued" once again.
Note: Somebody coming to the door and reporting that situation had put us in a legal obligation to respond even though the nurse who ended up cleaning the man up would have preferred we did not.

The area under the bridge was too small for us to actually get to Leon and carry him out, and he knew that. Knowing Leon, I did not even try to reason him him. Rather, and within just a minute or two, I had him so angry at me that he rolled (fell) of his ledge and crawled on out swinging his bottle ... then I stayed quite clear while the other guy helped him into the truck then came around and sat in the middle while Leon finished his bottle on the way back to the detox.

Leon did fairly well after that for a few weeks until some screwball told him I was a terrible sponsor and that he should not already be even anywhere close to Step Four ... and that was just the excuse Leon needed to go drink again and die.

The seed has been sown and he will probably remember those two things. Overload is too much at the very start. keep up the work. I have had 12 step experience and found that people respond in different ways so simplicity is essential at the start.

hevg, no question about it. Keeping it simple in my opinion is the only way to go.
It seems when I share my exp. where I was before getting into recovery for some it tells them there not unique and others are like they are.

My experience is that, although my name is on the local 12 Step call list for the AA helpline, I don't get any calls. I moved to this area (I have been here for 18 months) and will be starting up an AA meeting in the local town because there is not one AA meeting there. I am not too far away from where I used to live, AA is much more active there because it is a city. I still have my home group in the city and travel back for my regular meeting where I do service.

What I did find though was that by mentioning just once, at a meeting, that I was available to sponsor other women, within a period of three weeks I now have three new sponsees.