aa Spoken Here Community Group
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"And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today.
When I am disturbed,
it is because I find some person, place, thing, situation --
some fact of my life -- unacceptable to me,
and I can find no serenity until I accept
that person, place, thing, or situation
as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.
Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake.
Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober;
unless I accept life completely on life's terms,
I cannot be happy.
I need to concentrate not so much
on what needs to be changed in the world
as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes."
Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition p. 417
Copyright 1976 A.A.W.S. Inc.
When I am disturbed,
it is because I find some person, place, thing, situation --
some fact of my life -- unacceptable to me,
and I can find no serenity until I accept
that person, place, thing, or situation
as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.
Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake.
Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober;
unless I accept life completely on life's terms,
I cannot be happy.
I need to concentrate not so much
on what needs to be changed in the world
as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes."
Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition p. 417
Copyright 1976 A.A.W.S. Inc.
"It is a spiritual axiom that every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us."
Compare this to:
"When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation -- some fact of my life -- unacceptable to me"
I still cant get this. Surely there are some things that i am supposed to be disturbed by and there would be something wrong with me if I wasnt disturbed. For example surely i am supposed to find abuse, human rights atrocities, poverty and starvation, racism, homophobia etc etc disturbing?
If I said there must be something wrong with me because i find sexual abuse disturbing wouldnt it seem a bit strange?
The main point about acceptance, I think, is that I am reacting to something that has already occurred. The only thing left to do is to either take action or not take action. If you are to take action, it would likely be better action if one has accepted the simple fact that what has occurred, has occurred and then decide what to do.
Because we feel disturbed by what has occurred we often attribute this feeling to the event that has occurred, when the feeling may be the result of one's resistance to accepting the reality of the event that has occurred.
What to do? When something occurs that makes you feel disturbed, observe the disturbed feeling and say yes to the form it takes within you. "I feel disturbed" Yes, I feel disturbed. Giving an ok to the feeling of disturbed. I would give an ok because it exists and there is nothing you can do about it at that moment. Once accepted, notice the peace that follows. Once at peace, decide on right action towards the event.
The only thing anyone ever really has to accept is the feeling within oneself at this moment. Do this will bring one to peace no matter what the circumstances. Trying to say yes to things outside oneself is not possible, except through rationalization-which is really just more thinking and less acceptance of what is.
In my case there is a big difference between concerned and disturbed. I find a number of things that concern me to the degree that I ask myself "How can I help"?
However, if I am angry or resentful, where am I to blame? Am I making mountains out of molehills?
If I were spiritually fit, would it bother me to the point of feeling disturbed?