aa friends Community Group
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At the end of our meeting yesterday, we had a group conscious discussion about people going to the heads of the church we hold our meeting in, and complaining about a certain individual, in the name of the group. We did NOT have a group discussion on this before hand, so at that time, we agreed that we would elect a male and female representative, at the next business meeting, to be liaisons to the church. That's great...
However...it doesn't address the concerns about the person who the complaint was against. (And no, I was not one to complain, although I have had some serious reservations about this guy since the 1st day I saw him.)
He has mental health issues and attends another program for that at the same church. He often comes into our meeting late, has cookies and coffee, talks about things unrelated to alcohol, and leaves early. Sometimes, he falls asleep and snores through the meeting. He pan handles constantly, smells awful and has two dogs that bark at everyone as they walk by.
At the group conscious meeting, most stated that as an AA group, we can't shut the door on anyone and I agree to a certain extent. However, this person has a restraining order from another group, due to violence and harassment, and he makes a lot of the females in our group feel unsafe and uncomfortable.
We have tried to talk to him and ask that he come on time, or share only of AA related topics, and have told him that pan handling is illegal in our town. He just gets offended and angry and stays away for a bit, yells that he already got 86'd from another meeting and that gets him even more stirred up.
I don't know what to do...what CAN we do as an AA group????
However...it doesn't address the concerns about the person who the complaint was against. (And no, I was not one to complain, although I have had some serious reservations about this guy since the 1st day I saw him.)
He has mental health issues and attends another program for that at the same church. He often comes into our meeting late, has cookies and coffee, talks about things unrelated to alcohol, and leaves early. Sometimes, he falls asleep and snores through the meeting. He pan handles constantly, smells awful and has two dogs that bark at everyone as they walk by.
At the group conscious meeting, most stated that as an AA group, we can't shut the door on anyone and I agree to a certain extent. However, this person has a restraining order from another group, due to violence and harassment, and he makes a lot of the females in our group feel unsafe and uncomfortable.
We have tried to talk to him and ask that he come on time, or share only of AA related topics, and have told him that pan handling is illegal in our town. He just gets offended and angry and stays away for a bit, yells that he already got 86'd from another meeting and that gets him even more stirred up.
I don't know what to do...what CAN we do as an AA group????
I saw this scary individual at a meeting a couple years ago. He was picking up his 18 month chip. I was so humbled by that. Just think if we had run him off all those years ago, where he might be today.
In the meantime, sounds like the group need to abide by the first tradition and monitor this poor fellow. Any home group member has the responsibility to keep the meetings steered in the right direction. If he snores & it disrupts the meeting, wake him up. If he acts out during the meeting, a man or two might take him aside and talk to him about sitting and listening. It's the group as a whole's job to keep the meetings going. No crime in being late but if he is late and makes alot of racket, someone needs to politely ask him to quiet down. Do you suppose he might feel as unwanted there as it seems like he is?
I met a gentleman a couple of months ago at an AA meeting. He spoke of a street drunk who'd come into AA meetings, talk nonsense, loudly blah blah blah, and then dose off in meetings. The people in the meetings would tolerate him as much as they could, try to calm him down, get him a coffee to hush him, and sit next to him to give him a well placed nudge when he snored too loud. After the meetings, they'd take him down the homeless shelter for men and see if they could get him a bed for the night. This bloke had been on the streets for a long time, filthy he was, but the people in that AA meeting cared and he came around, slowly, and one day he woke from one of those well placed nudges, and his life changed. That man was himself. And he is now the Manager of that very same homeless shelter. Moving, sure was, I cried listening to him. Quite an inspirational gentleman.
CM xxx
And Pray for the answer as I know at least my HP has all the answers if I only ask for his help and guidence.
As far and coming late or talking about non AA stuff, pretty much meaningless.
The rest must be difficult to deal with