Have you ever asked for phone numbers before the meeting started?
Ever go 15 minutes before a meeting and maybe see someone ( I would suggest a lady ) that you heard share before that you could relate to?

Just a few suggestions..

i go a few minutes before the meeting starts....i have been everyday since saturday,except for last night...i am starting to open up a little more...it is more like a trust issue with me...i am getting there one day at a time though...............i also just wanted a taste ob beer tonight...i went to the meeting and it passed...............try putting one foot in front of the other...just go and listen...and get comfortable with the group...............

All of us were that way in the beginning Ash. Hell I evil eyed anyone that even LOOKED like they were coming my way. One day I will share the story of my break through.

Honestly, (and I know I have not been to enough meeting) but I have not heard someone who I can truly truly relate too.....I mean aspects yes, ofcourse we all share a common thread but being a binge drinker and a few other things.......I need to go to more meeting and I do not judge my experiences on that...I know all us alcoholics are a like...but truly simular to myself, no....I know that I need to keep going......I am so scared that i will start to talk to someone and lose it crying and make a fool of myself...Im so afraid and I hate myself for the fear but I dont know how to over come it....yet...

guess what i cried the first few meetings...i was scared and nervous...but they are just like me.....

It's hard to socialize when we are afraid. It's still hard for me sometimes but it's getting easier because I know that we are all there for the same reason. I also know that other than some old timers, there are others also scared just like me. The fear will ease up as you keep going. Just feel confident in yourself and know you have so much to offer. Just don't force it. Take it a little step at a time and be patient with yourself.

Oh Ash, I couldn't do that chitty chat thing either. And I was shaking most of the time. Try getting there a little earlier and ask if they need a hand setting up. And stick around after near the coffee cart, that way they will all approach you :}. Ask how the weather is, just say hi. Your meant to feel uncomfortable too. If you wanted to stay comfortable, nothing would change. Persist Ash, truly listen for the similarities and not the differences, they are there. And it's okay to cry. Don't hide your feelings. Let them know you are there, and let them know that you are struggling. It's okay. It's all part of the healing process. Ashley, this is the best I've seen you in a long time here yeah. Your reaching out and asking for help. Keep doing that. Coogee :}

Hi Ash, I remember the feeling, one thing I did was to go a bit early and help set up. When people start arriving you will be in a position to greet
and at least say Hi, if there are just a few at the beginning then you stand more chance of striking up conversation.
Oh I have just seen Coogee has written the same thing, never mind 2 heads are better than one.

I still find this difficult and I have been going to AA for over a year. You see, when I was younger I was told to wait to be spoken to, to not join in and AA puts all that etiquette out of the window. I used to stand there like a lemon just wanting, willing to be able to chat like others.

Now I do literature. That busys me enough until a few people arrive. Then I get a coffee and have a word with the people in there and start the chit chat. Like, have you had a good week etc. People will ask how you are doing and then it is time to take a seat.

After the meeting, I busy myself with putting the literature away. I then might chat to someone as I am doing that but the great thing is that it busys me so I do not feel uncomfortable. It gives me a purpose.

The service I started off doing was the washing up of the cups. There was always two doing that job and so that got me talking. Then I went to meeter and greeter and would just say hi to people as they entered and then people began to talk more. This is a good job for the smokers amongst you too.

I know it is hard. Believe me, it does get better.

Gosh Ashley-once again you sound just like me. I wrote something almost identical a few months ago on the aa spoken here board. I would suggest going regularly, not sporadically-that will show that you are serious. Share a little here and there and it will happen in time. Just keep goin no matter what.

In my meetings, they ask if anyone is in their 1st week of sobriety, if yours does too, raise your hand and they will likely pass around something for all the women to write their numbers on for you. USE THEM!!!

I have found that more and more, people are starting to talk to me...just this past weekend I FINALLY called a lady who had been telling me to call her for over 4 months. We spoke for about 30 minutes & she invited me to dinner tonight after our meeting.

In my opinion, I think that people come & go so frequently that when someone only makes an appearance once a week or a few times a month-that shows disinterest. It wasn't until I started going almost every day for a few months that I started making friends. I promise that it will happen, just keep goin & you will see. Good for you Ashley! :)

Hokte, you cried for just a couple of meetings? I cried for 2 years,lol.

When I started going to meetings I was in the same boat as you Ash. As time went on, I noticed people picking up ashtrays to empty them. So that's what I started doing. Then I graduated to washing the ashtrays. Before I knew it, I was being asked to go to Denny's with a group of AAer's!

I also got to meetings an hour before the meeting and got to listen and absorb wisdom from the oldtimers and got phone numbers from women who seemed healthy. I also had a chance to shop for a sponsor!

Stick around kid, before long, you will be a part of, guaranteed.