I agree oki, I always made decisions based on my emotions (that's how I ended up married in Las Vegas once). I was always very adrenaline addicted as well. When I got to AA, I stayed that way for quite awhile because I was busy running my own life. I was always irritated, which would cause me to strike out and then I'd feel guilt and shame. Make a decision based on fact, not feeling? That was as alien to me as E.T.!

As I worked through the Steps with my sponsor, I began feeling something I'd never known before: peace!
Through time, my mind stopped spinning and I was restored to sanity. When I hurt enough I become humble enough to reach out for help and make myself vulnerable by stating "What's REALLY going on"

Through the steps with HP's help and a strong sponsor, I am a mother, friend, sponsor, wife and oh yeh, I'm an RN. I only had a GED when I got to AA, I had dropped out of school in the 10th grade. That's not a brag, it's a testimony to newcomers that things I never imagined I could do, I've done, only through God's grace, the steps, and the Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous.

Feeling s are more powerful than facts. The most rational among us find a way to deal with them , not ignore them

Joel, not sure what you mean. My feelings don't rule me today or cause me to make irrational decisions because I have dealt with them, both in AA, and outside of.

That's what I'm saying. You gotta deal not ignore or they will rule.

Oh, my bad

I too heard about the elevator.....that I don't have to take it all the way to the top...I could get out where I was and, today, I have :)

Today it was weird....my mum and dad arrived and my dad said 'hi, how are you' I said 'fine' in the way I would have done before. Then I turned around and said 'actually Dad, I have had a shit couple of days. It is ok though. I just realised that I have to work my program harder' and I really meant it. And, that is what I have been doing the past few days.

I am still getting with the concept of my feelings and that too is ok.

When I did step 1 with my sponsor I said I felt like a baby venturing out again and I know it is taking me time to learn again. I have to remember to go easy on myself and realise that there is progress huge progress.

Alcoholism is like getting on an elevator that only goes down. You can choose to get off on any floor and you may stay on that floor or may take the steps to daylight. You can also choose to get back on an take it to a lower darker level. Just don't stay on too long and ride it clear to hell. If along the ride you decide to push a button and get of we (AA) will be there for you.

Glad to was that you????
How you doing Honey? That was one hell of a night wasn't it?
What were all the paper bags for?

However there is a time in place. In the world at large opening up your weaknesses in a show of complete honesty is not always appropriate, desirable, much less attractive to others. It's always good to have a few close confidents to share with, in the fellowship or not. It's way too easy to become a drama queen or constantly 'in touch' with your emotions, instead of just getting on with life. Emotional intelligence is what we all strive for, I'm sure.

That's what I've found anyway.

I used to live as to fight to appear to be a strong woman... Unfortunately I was programmed and conditioned to do so by my parents. I was always afraid I would appear weak or stupid if I show my vulnerabilities and I would just laugh with the world (at myself) and pretend at times when I may have needed to cry or just felt scared.. This false way of living robbed me of a lot of serenity and peace. Rigorous honesty makes for a much more lucid way of living. It brings me much happiness and is allowing me to heal old wounds. Learning that feelings aren't facts has also been paramount in my growth and healing. That perspective gives me an objective and fair way to interpret life and others and to be gentle and loving toward myself.

Hey Reed, er, don't know what you're talkin' about. The paper bags were there so we, I mean you, could just have a little anonymous fun, remember?Don't you remember getting up on the top of a dining room table doing "PeeWee Herman to the tune of "Tequila"?

I don't know about anyone else, but I don't think anyone's "in touch" with their emotions 100%. I had to make mistakes in living life on life's terms in order to see my old behaviors that didn't work anymore. Today, life is brilliant! True sobriety ain't for the weak of heart but it has given me a life beyond anything I ever could have imagined for myself. It also changed my children's futures.