Dave: It's feeding time at the zoo.
Jim: Better hurry or you'll be late for dinner!

What differentiates a zoo in Louisiana from other zoos?
The Louisiana zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage, along with a recipe.

Geography Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/7515722

Dave: It's feeding time at the zoo.
Jim: Better hurry or you'll be late for dinner!

Food Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/2833111

What is the most up-to-date animal at the zoo?
The gnu, of course!

'Gnu Humor' is under development - stay tuned!

A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo. Knowing that he could hop high, the zoo officials put up a ten-foot fence. He was out the next morning, just sauntering around the zoo. A twenty-foot high fence was put up. And again he got out. When the fence was forty feet high, a camel in the next enclosure asked the kangaroo, "How high do you think they'll go?" The kangaroo said, "About a thousand feet, unless somebody locks the gate at night!"

Kangaroo Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/5609975

The Spangled Pandemonium

The spangled pandemonium
Is missing from the zoo.
He bent the bars the barest bit,
And slithered glibly through.

He crawled across the moated wall,
He climbed the mango tree,
And when the keeper scrambled up,
He nipped him in the knee.

To all of you, a warning
Not to wander after dark,
Or if you must, make very sure
You stay out of the park.

For the spangled pandemonium
Is missing from the zoo,
And since he nipped his keeper,
He would just as soon nip you!

-Palmer Brown

Horror Stories
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/3170741

Monsters And Other Fictional Folks
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/3037004

Poetry Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/7399072

Q: If a goat should swallow a rabbit, what would be the result?

A: A hare in the butter.

Due to expansion, there was one enclosure left empty at the local zoo. The keeper thought long and hard about what type of animal would be suitable to bring in for it. He started to write the following letter to a neighbouring zoo:

Dear Sir

We have an empty enclosure after the building extension to our zoo. Please could you send me two mongeese.

He was not sure that sounded right so he scratched it out and wrote "mongi"

That still didn't sound right and so the letter that eventually went out said the following:

Dear Sir

We have an empty enclosure after the building extension to our zoo. Please could you send me a mongoose.

Yours sincerely


P.S. Please could you send me another?

true zoo story!
my first born was in a stroller (he's now 30yrs) we went to the zoo with a mom's club. in the monkey house there was this mom monkey trying to eat and chill and this very rambunctious baby monkey who kept sneaking up on her and popping her for attention. the mom monkey gave the baby monkey a few verbal warnings then when she had had enough she reaches out with her foot and pins the baby monkey on his back. because her foot was like a hand she could go back to eating and enjoying her peace while her infant was securely held down. the baby monkey couldn't mess with her and could only wave his arms and legs around. all the moms with infants watching this cracked up! and i said i wish i had feet like that so i could have a couple extra hands.

Wow, just goes to show how good us ladies (human or otherwise) are at multi-tasking!

Life's A Zoo!

"Look at that one - the one staring at us through the bars. Doesn't he look intelligent?" "Yes. There's something uncanny about it." "He looks as if he understood every word we're saying." "Walks on his hind legs, too, and swings his arms." "There! He's got a peanut. Let's see what he does with it." "Well, what do you know about that! He knows enough to take off the shell before he eats it, like we do." "That's a female alongside of him. Listen to her chatter at him. He doesn't seem to be paying much attention to her, though." "She must be his mate." "The look kind of sad, don't they?" "Yes. I guess they wish they were in here with us monkeys."

What is the most up-to-date animal at the zoo?
The gnu, of course!

Gnu Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/10752367

Verry funny,my favorite is the kangaroo joke.

Ken: Did I ever tell you about the time I came face-to-face with a tiger?
Dave: No - what happened?
Ken: I did not have a gun. I just stood there. The tiger crept closer...and closer...
Dave: Well, what did you do?
Ken: I just moved on to the next cage.

A man need a job. He heard that they were looking for help at the zoo, so he went there and applied for a job. On his first day at work, his boss handed a gorilla suit to him and said, "The gorilla is out sick today, so we'll need you to fill in for him." The fellow thought this odd, but he really badly needed the job, so he said, "Sure," put the gorilla suit on, went into the cage, and proceeded to monkey around. After a while, he got the hang of things and found it enjoyable, but while swinging on a tire, he lost his grip, went flying through the bars, and landed in the lion's cage. He took one look at the huge fierce lion and thought to himself that the job was not all that important compared to his life, so he started yelling, Help me, help me!" to the zoo visitors. Hearing his cries, the lion trotted over to him. Terrified, the man in the gorilla suit covered his face with his arms, when, startled, he hears the man in the lion suit whisper insistently, "Be quiet, or you'll get us both fired!"