A dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me . . . They must be gods!
A cat thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me . . . I must be a god!
A goldfish Thinks: "Just because I have a three-second memory, they don't think I'll mind eating the same old fish flakes . . . Oh boy! Fish flakes!"

Life And Living Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/12530954

Fun Fact: Most hamsters blink one eye at a time. When you are a tiny yummy rodent snack for predators, it helps to keep at least one eye on your surroundings at all times.

Fun Facts And Trivia
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/12697746

To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following on our front door:
To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit Us and Like to Complain About Our Pets:
1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't like their hair on your clothing, then stay off the furniture. (That's why it's called "fur"niture.)
3. I like my pets better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he or she is an adopted son or daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours, and doesn't speak clearly.

Interpersonal Communications Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/12819468

A woman walks into a pet shop and says, “I’d like to get a puppy for my son.”
The guy behind the counter says, “Sorry, we don’t do swaps.”

Family And Home Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/9302132

Hot Dog
I have a hot dog for a pet,
The only kind my folks would let
Me get.
He does smell sort of bad
And yet,
He absolutely never gets
The sofa wet.
We have a butcher for a vet,
The strangest vet you ever met.
Guess we’re the weirdest family yet,
To have a hot dog for a pet.

-Shel Silverstein

Food Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/2833111

“Well-washed and well-combed domestic pets grow dull; they miss the stimulus of fleas.”

-Francis Galton

Bug Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/5079017

Fun Fact: In her later years, Florence Nightingale kept a pet owl in her pocket.

History Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/8034117

My Pet Banana

I bought a pet banana
And I tried to teach him tricks,
But he wasn't any good at
Catching balls or fetching sticks.

He could never catch a Frisbee,
And he wouldn't sit or speak,
Though we practiced every afternoon
And evening for a week.

He refused to shake or wave or crawl
Or beg or take a bow,
And I tried, but couldn't make him bark
Or get him to meow.

He was terrible at playing dead.
He couldn't jump a rope.
When he wouldn't do a single trick
I simply gave up hope.

Though I liked my pet banana,
I returned him with regret.
Boy, I sure do hope this watermelon
makes a better pet.

-Author Unknown

Poetry Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/7399072